I find that the most difficult thing for me concerning writing is not not having ideas or finding the right words, but overcoming my shame. I am often paralyzed with anguish when I sit down to write. I have nothing to say, how could I - I'm just a nobody. And what if somebody read what I've written? I'd feel exposed and vulnerable and that's something I don't want. I wrote some academic papers a few years ago, and I remember it was difficult for me to read them and in fact, to even be in the same room. I'd just take a quick peek and then I had to leave the room to get some air. And the same goes for the creative writing as well, but now it's not constant. This, I think, is due to the impossibly high standards I'm in vain trying to live up to, and the depressions that follow from the inevitable failure. My medicine for this condition is to write something, anything, without censoring, with no critical judgement whatsoever. You just sit down and decide to write whatever comes to mind, and if nothing comes to mind, then write that: "Nothing comes to mind". See, one sentence already. And theres always something there that you can describe. The room you are in, the weather outside, your clothes, your cat. Just concentrate on the feel, color, texture, taste of things and write that down. And don't crit your writing afterwards! Congratulate yourself if you managed to write one whole sentence. Give yourself a prize, tell everyone what incredible progress you're making and how worthy of praise you are! Your case may be totally different from mine, but I sincerely hope that you can start writing again, with whatever method suits you.
"There are better writers than me out there, there are smarter writers, there are people who can plot better - there are all those kinds of things, but there’s nobody who can write a Neil Gaiman story like I can.” -- Neil Gaiman (I meant to edit this into my previous post.)
I've never really stopped writing, but I didn't start writing until fairly late, so maybe I just haven't hit that stage yet. But when I first started writing, the words definitely gushed out more easily than they do now. That said, when I go back and read that work, it feels a bit gush-y. A little restraint might not have been a bad thing! One thing I'd suggest is to figure out why you want to write, and try to give yourself some immediate rewards in the relevant direction. Do you want to write for self-expression? Think of a really, really important scene from your life and work on that. Want to communicate with others and be part of a community? Try some fanfiction where you get an immediate payoff and response. Want money? That one's trickier, but maybe you could pay yourself, like deny yourself a treat until you "earn" the money for it by producing something? I don't know - but I'd start by figuring out why writing is important, and take it from there.
Empty brain. I had been home from work (I travel quite a bit) for a decent number of days for once. I had zero time for myself, but, when I had it, I was feeling some kind of mad. Not really angry but a bit pissed that this was the only time I had to do anything and I wanted to do nothing at all for once; however, knew I would regret not accomplishing something in one of my special projects. Writing or exercise. I got on my bike. I did a short spin of 20 miles. I got an idea from my surroundings. It was a car parked next to the road in a wide runoff area. The windows were down with a large mess of poodle-curled hair in the drivers seat. In Colorado, a car with a dog is normal. It was . . . a lady. I honestly thought it was a big labra-doodle/poodle/fluffy some kind of black dog. Nope. It was a lady on a cell phone. cycling along, it's not uncommon to say hi to cows or horses in the fields or dogs on a walk-owners like that. But imagine if I said hi to a nice puppy dog and I was too late to recognize it as a lady instead? "Ohhhh hello puppy! Good boy aren't ya!" as I slow roll past. Followed by a cigarette mouthed gob of cursing chasing me away, or chasing me down in her car. Nice story start for me. all because I got outside and did something generating endorphins. A nice walk or if the weather is horrible, get out somehow. Drive to get a coffee, meet someone while doing it. Get a sense of what people are doing or thinking that day. Play a game with it. any one of them could be an undiscovered secret agent or serial killer or both. You never know.
Go to some small breweries here in Colorado! I'm not saying Coors or New Belgium, but the local places that don't sell at the liquor stores. I write between two local breweries about once or twice a week. Every single one so far has their own Wi-Fi. It is pretty much like writing in a cafe or coffee shop, plus I can hear snippets of dialogue that provide inspiration for my own dialogue. I like frequenting them because besides good beer, it is a subdued atmosphere that is different than my own home, yet different from a coffee place. And it isn't rowdy like a normal bar. I'd go outside here to write more, but it's been freezing lately, and then the ground all nasty from the snow melting and refreezing every night. I look forward to writing in the spring on my balcony facing the mountains.
Recently, I have been struggling with a story I have been working on due to the pressure it, and other people, seem to be putting on me to complete it. I realised that I need to re-learn how to ignore these pressure as I was able to do it before and greatly increase my progress, however, I can't remember how to do this. My friend suggested taking a break from writing on the pc and returning to working on paper. I was wondering if any one else had any other ideas for me to try as well?
Writing on paper could help. Maybe even take a little break from your current story and work on something else for fun? Sometimes that's helpful at relieving pressure. While I'm no expert on this by any means, I feel I can relate to you because I've gone through similar things with my own WIP. Some advice I think might help is to realize that this isn't anyone else's story, its YOUR'S, and that means you can finish it at your own pace. Remember why you started writing the story in the first place...was it to please other people? My guess would be no and the reason was more likely related to enjoyment, loving the story, a creative outlet etc. etc. Whenever you're feeling pressured just remember writing isn't about the destination, its about the journey (cheesy metaphors for the win haha). Whether the book takes you ten years to finish or ten months, it's for you as the author to decide. Try not to worry about what other people want Just my quick 2 cents haha, good luck!
Thank you for your reply Roux, I think taking a little break might be a good idea, haha! One of the problems I have with this particular project, however, is that it does have a deadline (mid-April) but that does still leave me some time left to take a step back and return to my original enjoyment and connection to the piece like you suggested. Thanks again
Taking a break is a bad idea, as the best way get a flow, and keep it going, is by writing. Write when you don't want to write, write when you do, and write all the times in between. Create a timetable of when to write and be as disciplined as you can with it. My days are all about schedule. Try meditation and exercise. Meditation settles the mind and moves the jigsaw puzzle pieces around. Exercise releases endorphins and that will free your mind to write.
I write my first drafts with pen and paper. There was an interview with Neil Gaiman regarding this: writing back and forth from PC to paper. He eventually found out which medium gave him more pleasure in terms of writing the first draft--good ole' pen and paper. You can experiment with this, see which medium makes your creative-brain happy. I was appalled when I heard some writers wrote with pen and paper, but I tried it (because I was desperate) and loved it ever since. Thinking back, it reminded of my childhood, scribbling stories and sketching comics on my notebooks which were intended for school. There are also folks who attest to typewriters, but that's not me. Find your writer's bliss.
Thank you AlcoholicWolf, TopherT, and nastyjman for all your suggestions I will try almost any technique to get me back into writing, haha.
You're most welcome. As long as you do my suggestions first. Don't stress over it, just get into a routine and your mind and body will take over.
Is the pressure coming from others or from within you? If it begins with others then the answer is to not talk about what you're writing. If someone asks, just be noncommittal about it. You really don't owe anyone an explanation. Your writing is YOURS. OTOH, if the pressure is coming from within, then you just have to take control. Unless you've committed to an external deadline, there is no reason to rush. Some folks like to impose production quotas on themselves, but I've always thought that whatever gains this provides in terms of quantity are paid for by loss of quality. In the long run, it isn't worth it. Best of luck.
I suppose my answer would depend on what point you're stuck at. If you're staring at a blank page or only a chapter my suggestions might not help. If you already have a lot of work done take this opportunity to go back to the beginning and work on some honest editing. You might find yourself writing in a whole new character or maybe something you wrote months ago now seems to not work but you have a better idea. Failing that you can skip forward. There are times when I can clearly see a chapter that isn't needed until far down the book's timeline but there's no reason I can't write it now. Maybe even write the ending, if you know how your story is going to end, then it can help in focusing the rest. Many people write outlines, not my style, but if I do have a file of random thoughts that have come to me when I couldn't write the specific scene. I'm always flipping back through those notes for ideas since many of them require earlier set ups. Good luck
I was talking to my sister today, who also writes, and told her that while I write because < excited jumping-up-and-down lil kid > "I have this neat story to tell!", I don't think I could ever post my writing, at least not original characters, anywhere because I have this weird feeling that it'll no longer be mine. It kinda feels like I'll never be able to go back and read it, or the characters will be gone in my head once I let others read it. Like I'm giving it away. I'm not talking about people taking my ideas or plagiarism. I mean once someone Out There has read it, it's now gone from me, the people and the events aren't mine anymore. I don't want to give my writing/stories/characters away. Again, not talking about publishing--I have no interest in publishing. I just write for my own fun. I mean somehow it'll all be over when other people read it. Am I just a lone weird dork? I would love other people to read my writing, but I don't want other people to read it because ....it'll be gone then. Should I go see a shrink?
I can't say I've ever felt that way. I can only tell you that my characters are always mine. I'm actually reading my first published novel on my Kindle right now as inspiration for my next project. Its been published and sold electronically and yet I still read it with wonder and adoration for my characters. Characters are really like friends you can depend on--they will always be there for you. The best part is they never change! You can revisit them ten years later and they will still be the same person(s). I think your fear is unfounded. If you write well you'll probably find yourself in awe of how good your work is when you read it again...and again.
Start writing about what is happening now. In a notebook, with a pen, lol, not on the computer. Start with a couple of sentenses (or paragraphs if needed), and express the reason or motivation you had when you started your book. Proceed with details and description of todays situation. Who says what to you and why. Are they just applying pressure on you because ... they can? Because you allow them? Or because they "care"? Are the friend or foe? How would you expect a friend to motivate you to finish your book etc. Then put your self in their place and reverse the scenario. At the end of the ... Do you really care? All you should care about regarding your writing is your own goals. By the time you write all of that on paper ( which will probably be finished within a day) you will be inspired and ready to proceed with your book. Keep your ears closed to the ... "Pressure machines"... Aka friends. Open your ears and eyes and heart to your inner spirit. Listen to nature, the chirping od the birds every morning, the sounds of the waves as you walk by the ocean, the strong winds hissing through the trees in a cold winter night. In other words DO YOUR THING. ONLY YOU CAN DO IT. SO ... DO IT. Good luck.
Most of the time I don't even try to write fiction because I feel like I haven't mastered lesser forms of writing. I try to write a blog post or a letter, and absolutely nothing comes to my mind. I have to struggle just to think of a single topic. Imagine trying to write a letter to someone, having nothing to say. At least I should be able to make something up or speak of anything going on, but I can't even do that. It seems like the only time I have something to say is when something suddenly bothers me or when I am responding to something that someone else said. Some of the classmates I went to grammar school with are excelling in their lives right now, and I am just sitting around in my room at my mother's house doing nothing whatsoever. I used to have a job as a computer programmer, but can you imagine not even excelling at that? My IQ, which we were all tested for in grammar school, is 120, but I feel so dumb. I have accomplished nothing in my life that I wanted to the degree that I wanted to. I couldn't finish college, I couldn't get a decent job as a programmer, I couldn't get married. I failed. And there are people who have done better than me, who were my friends in grammar school, who don't even talk to me now, and it's because I cannot freaking write, and because I am so rude and immature. If I can't write fiction then what am I supposed to do with my life? Someone please help me. I cannot even find some good fantasy short stories to read as a model of what my writing should be like. I have no money to purchase any books, I stay away from the library because I am not comfortable there for some strange reason, and I am not even sure if I have the ability to discern how should interact in a story. Am I even good at logic? What kind of programmer can't do simple logic? I wish I could just go back to grammar school and start all over again.
Your problem isn't writing, it's life. You don't really have anything to say (writing) because you (feel) you haven't accomplished anything. I'm a very introspective person. I've learned a lot about myself and people in general over the years. You sound lost. It also sounds to me like you are focused on goals but they may be the wrong kind. Marriage shouldn't be a goal, it should be the end result of something. Your problems may be bigger than what strangers on an internet forum can solve for you. I will recommend a book that may help= The Mindful Attraction Plan by Athol Kay. I don't know the author, I have only bought some of his books. I like this book because it is a simple process anyone can utilize to help them get themselves pointed in the right direction. I'm not into self-help books and this is no new-age nonsense; this is an actual guide to setting the right goals and removing the detriments from your life. I've used Mr. Kay's plans to a degree of success myself (my 3 books are a result of using his MAP plan). I remember being disappointed in myself at a similar age. I'm still disappointed in myself at times 25 years later! I didn't find my true writing voice until I was in my forties. Now I can't shut it up.
I recently listened to a podcast on the topic of creativity and the brain, and it turns out, "they" say that the brain operates in one of several modes at any time: an executive mode (decision maker) and bunch of other non-executive modes (creativity, innovation, etc). The thing is, that when your brain is in the executive mode, the non-executive modes are turned off. In other words, when you're using your willpower to make decisions, no matter how small, you're sapping yourself of creativity. And if that wasn't bad enough, we apparently only have a limited amount of will power, or decision making juice (if you will), in any given day, and there's some connection between creativity being reduced the more you tax your decision maker. Ahhhh it's simple really, I'm just unnecessarily complicating it... basically, do your creative work first thing in the day, and then do tasks that require strong decision making effort. Don't leave them last. Or just listen to what "they" say. I have zero affiliation with the people at the link posted... I just thought it might help you. Cheers.
I don't think people have stopped being friends with you because you can't write. I think it's entirely possible they've stopped being friends with you because you're rude and immature. (Not based on any personal knowledge of you, just... writing isn't important to the vast majority of friendships. But being polite and mature? Those are pretty important to just about every adult relationship.) I second @ddavidv's analysis that you need to look at something larger than your writing issues. I'm not sure if a book will help, but it certainly might. I'd also recommend trying to find someone to talk to, a counsellor of some sort who can help you work through some issues. And I'd recommend you change your self-talk a little - was the problem that you "couldn't" finish college, or that you "didn't"? If you really couldn't, then stop beating yourself up about it - it was out of your control. But if you just didn't? Then stop trying to blame the problem on anything but your own willpower or ambition. You may want to talk to your mom at some point - she's probably not thrilled about having a grown child in the house, and maybe she can give you enough responsibilities (rent, in the form of chores if not cash; a contribution to meals, in the form of cooking and cleaning up if not grocery money, etc.) to help give you a sense of purpose and accomplishment. Nothing is over. You're still a work in progress. But you seem to have gotten pretty far off track, and you'll need to put in some serious work to get back where you want to be.
