I think that one would be bad with pretty much anything following: When I became a ... It just screams trying hard not to be funny. Or possibly in desperation: Please take this seriously.
True. I think any mention of vampires is a death knell at the moment. The market needs some time to become unsaturated!
When I woke my mother was out doing her morning Crossfit training so I quickly stumbled down the stairs, past the cat, and ate my morning vegan breakfast, which is tough to do as a sparkly vampire, but anyway, since my mother was out I snuck into her office and Cr4cTZ into her computer with the ease of an experienced John and a hooker with too many scars to explain; after breaking into her highly classified files a minutes and twenty seconds later (a new record for me) I began downloading the files I needed to prove that aliens had been responsible for the attack on 9/11; when I turned around my mother was watching me, in a tattered jogging suit; well ... not really watching me because her eyes were obviously glassy with a stench of death about them, it seems that either she had become a zombie while she was out or she had made the mistake of talking to Mr. Wolf, our neighbor next door, about the benefits of being vegan, he really hates that.
It was a dark and stormy night, and the wind howled like a jack russell terrier australian shepherd mix.
And after the savage intrusion to my backside, I felt dirty and used. Also ashamed when the doc pulled his finger from me.Since that day I don't know if he was coming on to me, or what, but I feel like he owes me a drink...
We were wet, cold and hungry. It was not a good time for Adam to make another fart joke. But, of course, Adam did love his gas-inspired humor and I was too tired to care.
That could be a good comedy though. A lot of these could be would be good for comedy because of how corny they are.
Alex dropped onto the glass slowly from the helicopter. No normal agent had been able to complete this mission. But Alex was different. Alex was the ultimate teen spy. (Are you cringing yet? )
"Now i'm not saying it was an inside job, but if I caused 9/11 this is how." - George Bush Autobiography Took a page out of OJ's book of course.
once upon a time, a little girl named madeline mackay decided to go on an adventure to the far away land of Portugal.
"Trust me I know what I am doing, I watched a ton of youtube videos", Billy told his friend Roger who looked nervous.
"It is a truth universally acknowledged that a stay cat in possession of his freedom must be in want of an owner."
Don't look behind you. Just keep reading while you hold your cup of coffee and sit there in your green shirt. It's not a green shirt you say? Well, I'm colorblind and I'd appreciate if you'd not make fun of me for it. I am watching you though, that's what I'm trying to get across. You don't like coffee either? Well.. statistically someone who reads this will be drinking coffee so at least someone will be scared. For those of you who aren't scared yet...BOO!! There, now that everyone is emotionally invested I can begin my story.
