Mental Health Support Thread (NOT for giving medical advice, or debating)

I need to find a place where I can explore this in writing in a way that's satisfying and effective.

When I was in the army I used to suffer severe pains in my leg muscles when running, but I didn't want to be weak, and I always told myself that I could deal with anything, so I just dealt with the pain quietly. Little did I know the pain was shin splints, a condition I kept hearing about that was crippling other soldiers who got medical leave. It never occurred to me that might be the same thing. All I thought about was not to complain and just suck it up.

When I look up the symptoms of depression, the opening line is 'Some symptoms of depression include...' Every single line describes how I feel yet I still try and pretend nothing's wrong. Don't be melodramatic, I tell myself. Just suck it up.

 

@Selbbin you should absolutely look into getting some help if you think you might need it. Sometimes it's impossible to "suck it up."

I had my first appointment with a new psychologist this morning. Like the pilot episode of a series, I need to remind myself not to judge a psychologist too harshly based on the first appointment. It usually gets a little juicier from there. Right off the bat she asked me if I'd be interested in trying medication, saying that the symptoms and patterns I was expressing are indicative of a chemical imbalance. I think I feel validated in that. It's nice to know that I'm not exaggerating or being dramatic, at least. She also recommended that I stop researching things online so much and read a couple of books: When Panic Attacks and The Mindful Path to Self Compassion. I will give them a whirl. In the meantime, I'm really ready for this hell-hole of a week to be finished, and I'm dragging myself to work. I wish I would have just taken this whole week off.

 

@Selbbin If this is something you've been experiencing over a long period, I'd seek help.

I feel similarly at the loss of my eyesight. There's no doubt about it, it's made my depression worse and, as it's an steadily, ongoing decline, I only expect it will continue. As for what to do about it. If you feel the depression is impinging on your life, you are better addressing it head on. Sucking it up is all very well as a disclipline but it's not addressing the problem. Seeking help is not an act of weakness but strength.

Now, finding the help... that can be tricky.

 

I have been reading through the responses on here and see a lot of people visit psychologist or physiatrists, I personally have never been to one but I am interested in how it works. I won't go into detail but I know some of my personally traits i.e over thinking things, not being confrontational, addiction etc etc all stem back to a certain period in my life. Where things happened .. I never spoke about said period for nearly 20 years and because I kept it locked up and over thought it etc etc (what does this mean what does that mean etc etc) I am fairly sure that's the reason why I am the way I am.
So my question is if I am able to recognise the point that started it all what does a psychologist or physiatrists bring to the table?

 

Knowing the trigger point makes little odds to your overall wellbeing without action. The question is: Does this period of time continue to impact on your life today in a negative way? If so, treatment may be of use to you. Even if you don't need drugs, you can look into options such as Cognitive Behavoural Therapy which is often used to treat anxiety issues. My psychaitrist acts as an impartial observer, a witness of sorts, someone who can dissect my behaviour clinically and make recommendations with the intent of making my lot in life a little easier. Just as well really, as occasionally I'm not capable of making those kind of decisions for myself. It could be worth your while to give it a try... thing is, there's no one forcing you to go into treatment. If you don't feel it beneficial, try someone or something else, just don't hang in limbo if there are matters that need resolving.

 

Ugh, I've been having to deal with anger and aggression issues lately. I've been working through it with my therapist. Sometimes when my ennui gets worse than normal my antisocial urges come back and so does my anger and aggressiveness. I apologize to the people I've been mean too. like @Tenderiser

 

Hey thanks for your reply, I think I am fine and don't need to go to a head doctor, to a certain degree I think this is because I was brought up with a "Everybody is f#cked in the head" mentality (my dad was a very honest person) and as I don't have a chemical imbalance in the brain no drugs as such are needed (other than recreational ).
What I meant was how does a head doctor help you if you know what your problems are and where they stemmed from. I have even analysed how the period in time has given birth to the things I mentioned (over thinking, not confrontational, addiction etc). You mentioned that yours dissects your behaviour clinically and makes recommendations other than medicine what does he/she suggest (without describing your situation).

A few years ago I ended up properly tackling my problem head on as things were becoming a bit impossible to live with (don't mean I wanted to kill myself, just mean I didn't know what to do where to turn etc). Since I dealt with it, there were many repercussions but it was worth it.

I am not trying to pry into yours or anyone's lives by the way just interested what a head doc does with people who know their problems and where they stem from.

 

I think it's a silly misconception a lot of people have who think that therapists exists simply to diagnose you with a problem and tell you where it stems from. I think most of us with issues are very good at over analyzing our problems and figuring out where they stem from, so if that was the purpose of the therapist, I don't think they would have such vast business opportunities.

Knowing your issues and where they stem from is not helpful to anyone unless you know what to do with that information, and that is why people go to therapists. For instance, I have been raped on more than one occasion and I have a few triggers, one very big one being hearing or seeing other people excuse a rape or blame the victim of a rape. I know the issue -- triggers that cause extreme anger and anxiety. I know where the issue stems from -- having been raped. But simply knowing this doesn't help me live happily in a world that treats rape cases with the same importance as traffic violations. My therapists helps me to manage those triggers. She gives me perspectives I'd not think about. She gives me practical steps to avoid and diffuse panic attacks. That is what therapy is for, not for some off the wall Freudian diagnostician to tell you that you still suck your thumb because you weren't loved enough as a child.

 

Hey,
So couple of things, firstly, and I really really mean this, that is a sh1t thing to happen to anyone, I hope you can live your life in a way that isn't shaped by the actions of evil people.
Secondly thanks for clarifying the question I had with the comment "My therapists helps me to manage those triggers. She gives me perspectives I'd not think about. She gives me practical steps to avoid and diffuse panic attacks". I was interested as to what they actually do not for a character or anything just curiosity.
Thanks
Joe

 

I second Joe. I'm so sorry you had to go through that.

On a fucked up but related level, is it sad that I'm no longer surprised when women share they've been assaulted? I'm pretty sure every woman I know has been sexually assaulted in one form or another, myself included.

What the hell kind of world do we live in now?

 

I think the statistic is 1 in 5 women have been sexually assaulted. Very sad.

And thank you both, @Lea`Brooks and @joeh1234 for your support. I'm sorry it's happened to you, as well, Lea. I used to wonder how my nonchalant admittance of that fact affects other people (sometimes I still do), and I didn't talk about it for a long time, but now I'm of the opinion that it needs to be addressed as often as possible by women who are able to talk about it, and I don't really care how it affects people any more. I used to wonder if it made people uncomfortable, but I've come to realize that, well ... it should.

 

@No-Name Slob @Lea`Brooks *Raises hand* Another statsistic right here.

@joeh1234 It happened to me a long time ago. I can think about it now without getting upset although, like No-Name, I become very upset/angry when I hear rape being downplayed. Any period of confusion and blaming myself is long over, but I have been left with a few... let's call them quirks. These are what my therapist helps me with.

When my OCD kicked in with my Bi Polar mania, there were several problematic behaviours that greatly affected my life. One of which was that I couldn't open my front door. Add to this the fact I have a thing about being late...so just imagine me being trapped on my side of the door, staring at my watch realising if I didn't open my door, I'd be late. I could have still been staring at that bloody door five hours later. My therapist helps me to retrain the thought processes that prevent me living my life by taking an incremental approach and setting me achievable goals. Ever heard the phrase, 'Too close to the wood to see the trees?' She gives me an unbiased, alternative viewpoint I can trust.

Obviously, the fear of being late isn't a biggie, aside from the anxiety it causes me, it makes me a better employee, friend, (I'll not leave you standing for so much as a second) etc and, as such it doesn't impinge on my life too much. The door thing, on the other hand, was truly crippling.

N0-Name echoed my thoughts regarding triggers. The reason I didn't specify further is that the treatment will vary depending on the behaviour that needs corrected and the extent to which it affects. She's also right regarding some folks perceptions of psychaitry, psychology and therapies being a bit aerie faerie. It's been my experience that my treatment has been rooted in sheer practicality.

 

I'll admit: I was once a person who thought therapy was for suckers. I thought they were just going to tell you what you want to hear to make you feel better about yourself. And there's no way a stranger can help me sort out my life. No way.

But when I first moved to Virginia, I was a hot mess. I was away from my family for the first time, I had no friends, no job, and a new boyfriend that I was still trying to figure out. So I called up a therapist. I was really nervous my first session. I'm a private person. I don't share my life stories with just anyone. And I hate when people pry. If I'm not ready to share and you try to butt your way into my business, I'll shut you out faster than I'll let you in.

And my therapist seemed to sense that. She could tell there were certain subjects I wasn't ready to discuss yet and steered the conversation away from them when I put up my wall. She knew forcing it wouldn't do any good. So not only is she very sensitive to my space, but she also have me some great coping techniques.

When I had problems with my roommates, she gave me suggestions on how to talk with them. When I was feeling left out by my family, she gave me advice about how to step away from them. ("Stop going to an empty well expecting water." Best piece of advice she ever gave me. I continue to use it to this day.) And when I was having issues with my anxiety and chronic overthinking, she provided me with techniques to stay present.

Therapy was probably the best thing I've ever done. I can honestly say I'm a much better person today than I was two years ago before I started. And she did a lot of that, by giving me the tools to handle life and my own erratic emotions. I suggest therapy to everyone now.

 

I always feel awful when people who've been assaulted talk about the trauma and triggers that come afterward. I was raped by a boyfriend, but I didn't even consider it rape until after we'd broken up. I thought it was normal. Something that just happened in relationships. So at the time, it didn't feel like an assault so I didn't develop any triggers. I couldn't stand looking at him for the longest time and anytime someone mentioned his name or I saw him on Facebook, I got a little panicky. But I feel like I'm not allowed to call myself a "rape survivor" because mine didn't really feel like rape... Yanno?

 

There's no way I can tell anyone or 'seek help.' A crippling anxiety always came first, starting in High School. Not through trauma, but hyper sensitivity to other people's thinking and judgement mixed with paranoia. The strange thing is I have that more or less under control as far as management of people and speaking my mind is concerned, I now lead conversations in which other people get nervous, but the idea of 'revealing' how I feel is so extremely humiliating it's simply not an option. Besides, my mother only wants me and my older brother to be happy and since he isn't, having asperger's and having always struggled with being 'different', it's always been my duty to pretend I'm fine or she'll feel like she failed, despite having a great childhood. 'I'm just worried you're not happy' she always says and I assure her I am and deflect the conversation to discuss my brother and how we can help him. Again, I'm meant to be the strong, successful one. I know the source of why I've slipped from being optimistic and energetic into feeling this way, I don't need to explore the reasons. Again, I didn't suffer trauma, as such, and feel fraudulent, while at the same time justifying that my loss, which is part of the reason, was real, despite most people thinking it laughable at best, and offensive at worst. In other words, I have no excuse. Understanding the reasons makes trying to climb out of the pit even more futile, because it seems dishonest. Sure, as mentioned above, that's not the therapists job anyway. Most people know the reasons, probably too well. But I've become a cynic and as a cynic I'm totally opposed to ignoring the fundamental causal realities in order to 'feel good.' I feel too hyper aware of myself. It's not about fixing the problem, but managing it long enough not to impact the people around me.

 

Gosh @Selbbin, imo you are being too hard on yourself. Your mother's feelings are NOT your responsibility. If she's a typical mum, there's nothing you can do or say to prevent her from worrying anyway. And it's down to each of us to find our own happiness. You've given yourself the role of dutiful son. Are you even sure that's what she wants? Or is it simply the easiest path for you to tread? Personally, I'd rather have my daughter's honesty than her misplaced sense of duty. But that's just me.

As for your sense of loss... no one can know how you feel but you. Trauma takes different forms. Sometimes there's a perpetrator, sometimes it's just circumstance. A victim is still a victim.

'I have no excuse'.

Why, was your skirt too short, where you in the wrong area, should you have known better? Why do you think you need an excuse.

 

Your experience is as real as anyones elses, Lea. And you're are not on your own feeling as you do. I don't like to think of myself as a victim, but that doesn't change the fact that I was, and in some respects still am. I think it's impossible to come to the realisation you did without there being some fallout... it might not have been as traumatic an assault as some but that, in no way, diminishes what occurred.

 

You're definitely allowed to call yourself a rape survivor (if you want to). So many people have experiences happening to them that they are unaware of. I've suffered under depression and anxiety since I was 10 years old (or around there), like your rape experience, I thought it was normal. I thought everyone woke up feeling like shit and wanting to die. It took many years before there was a diagnoses, but that doesn't mean the undiagnosed years weren't real.



Edit: Uh, that smiley was just supposed to be a heart to show my support for you. It turned into whatever the hell it is now. No, I'm not in love with you, as it seems to be implying.

 

I always feel weird about the term "rape survivor." Like, I wouldn't call myself that either. "Survivor" seems limited to people whose lives were threatened, and in reality, that's pretty rare for most people who have been raped. We have a tendency to picture someone hiding out in the bushes with a gun or a knife waiting to pounce on some unassuming woman and brutally attack her, but that's just not the case in most situations, ya know? Don't let those feelings trivialize your experience, though. It's not okay, and yours is as real as anyone else's.

 

Hello,

Has anyone had any experience of writing on antidepressants?

I've been put on an SSRI about a month ago, I don't usually take them for the occasional bouts of depression I get, but this time I've had a vitamin D deficiency and its a case of needing to be able to function day to day in the world.

I'd got to the stage where I was finding it difficult to write a couple of weeks leading up to my diagnosis and initially the medication has improved my this The problem is I've lost my emotional connection with my characters and I am worried they may have become wooden.

I've had a look on the internet and unsurprisingly a lot of writers and artists suffer from depression (or artistic temperament as I've decided to excuse it as!) and some refuse to take anti-depressants at all, citing loss of creativity as the main reason.

I'm mainly looking to see if anyone can successfully write on antidepressants or am I just wasting my time until I can get myself off them again?

 

After about 7 months of evaluation I've been diagnosed with ADD at the age of 32 (technically it's not called ADD anymore, but it's a more helpful term that even my psychologist still uses for that very reason, so, so do I). I'm wondering if anyone else here has AD(H)D and if you were diagnosed as an adult. I've been working with psychologists and doctors for almost 7 months and now that I finally have the diagnosis I feel kinda lost. Like, where do I go from here? I'm going back in tomorrow for another session with my psychologist, this time joined by a psychiatrist who's gonna teach me about medicines. Not sure what happens after that, probably have to test some medicine I guess, so I'm reaching out to find anyone who understands my situation and can possibly give some advice. This is the support thread after all If it's better to do so through PM's, just PM me

 

I'm not in exactly your position but a similar one. I was diagnosed with Aspergers last year at the age of 32. Actually the diagnosis was autistic spectrum condition, but only because Aspergers is no longer in the ICD. I fit the criteria for Aspergers much better so choose to use this term.

I remember feeling the same when I was first diagnosed. I always strongly suspected I was on the spectrum and thought being given a diagnosis would be a mere formality. But actually being told I am autistic made me feel completely differently about myself and the whole situation. I was not prepared for this, and I went through a period of depression. Despite working with children and young people with autism and knowing quite a lot about it, I began to doubt everything, and had no idea what the diagnosis meant for me and what to do about it.

After a while I realised that nothing had actually changed. I was the same person I was before the diagnosis had been given, and would continue to be the same person. The things I find difficult are still just as difficult, and the gifts my autism brings are still there. The difference now is that I can explain to people better. If I get overwhelmed by a situation and have to step outside, people who know me now understand why. People who don't know me come to understand it better when I can explain why I am the way I am. As for where I go from here, well it's about self-advocacy. I choose to work part time, and have recently chosen to drop my hours even more, because I find it extremely difficult to cope with frequent and intense contact with people. Having a one or two days between each work day gives me time to recover from the stress it can cause, and means my next working day is much more manageable and the people with whom I interact also get more out of it.

So I would encourage you to spend the next few months not thinking about the diagnosis, nor thinking about others, but thinking about yourself. Think about what you enjoy, what you're good at, and what you find difficult. Then find ways of maximising the former and minimising the latter. AD(H)D isn't something you can train yourself out of. You can't make yourself focus better - it's a covert cognitive process under limited conscious control. So don't waste time any energy trying to force it. Instead, work on structuring your life so that it works with your cognitive style. If you can only focus for five minutes, try to find ways of working in short chunks. If you're easily distracted, try to create a working environment with minimal distractions. If you can't keep still for long, don't bother trying. Work standing up or pacing the room if you need to. And do look into the meds - they can make a big difference.

I don't have a diagnosis of ADHD, but I can definitely identify many of the traits in myself. I don't think it would be worth seeking an additional diagnosis as I don't think ADHD can realistically be separated from autism. But I know how it feels to know you should be concentrating but be unable to do so, or to want desperately to want to complete a task, even an enjoyable one, but be unable to quiet your mind for long enough; or to want to sit still, but feel compelled to move (parts of) your body. These issues can cause problems throughout all aspects of life, and as I said it's not worth trying to fit your cognitive style into what other people expect. You need to try and shape your life to accommodate the way you process information.

Finally, don't hide it. Your ADHD and my autism are as much a part of our identities as race, gender, sexuality, religion etc. You should never be ashamed of it, and if other people don't understand then that's their problem!

 

I second what @mashers says, don't feel ashamed for a part of you! I was diagnosed with autism when I was nine and it sucked for me having that label. 'Learning support' wanted to always give me help which made my main problem worse- interacting with people.
I used to hide the fact that I was autistic and when I later told people they would change towards me but I now tell people about two weeks after meeting them if I think we will spend a lot of time together. People seem to not mind if you tell them early on for some reason. So be honest and if people are off with you after you tell them, stuff 'em (not straight away, explain, wait a couple of weeks, let them soak the information in). Good luck with the doctors tomorrow!

 

Thank you both for your reply!

@mashers - I've read through your reply twice and I'm gonna read through it a couple of more times (since my ADD brain have trouble remembering what I read and all...). It's really good advice and something I needed to hear. So thanks for taking the time. Even if you don't have ADHD, we seem to have some traits in common and it's always good to talk to people who understand my situation.

@I.A. By the Barn - Thanks! I'm a bit nervous about tomorrow and the thought of starting on medication. I've always avoided medication for as much as possible, despite being plagued with frequent headaches since my teen years.

I've been pretty open and honest with people about this whole process. My wife obviously knows about everything, but I've kept my parents and sisters and two of my closest friends up to date as well and now that it's official I'll probably tell more of my friends as well. I have no problem being open about it, which I understand from you two is a good thing

Thanks for the support. I needed that today

(just didn't get around to answering you until now because when I first read your replys I was already late for an appointment I had forgotten all about... )

 

I am in the same kind of situation.

Despite that I have experienced chronicle depression throughout my life, I opted medication out mostly because of the fear for its negative effects. This time, however, I decided to give fluoxetine 20mg a chance just to see if this would help me to eliminate any obstacles that possibly wasted time and energy in my past and to be more efficient, functional or productive.

Only after five days --not even a week--since I began medication, I am gearing toward ditching it as soon as possible and going without it. Aside from very physical side effects that I recognized so far, --I won't go into the topic here since this is not supposed to be the med forum--, the major problem that I encountered is that my mind being foggy just as you'd feel when you are dealing with a bad case of hangover, a case of flu that made you bedridden for days or having leftover of hard drugs you took the night before still in your system.

Emotional detachment might also be the case in near future but at this stage--I am a total novice in SSRIs field--, I have a hard time getting back in touch with the very motivation to write: psychological discomfort that I need to eliminate. To achieve it, the only method I have had is to write, but with mental alertness in its sharpest. I know this is the double edged sword, however, and the core of the dilemma: the alertness that I'd pursue to write also is the causes of all the negative elements in my life. It surely slowed productivity down, just as in the form of depression, OCD, eating disorder, anxiety, etc.

Medication takes the much needed mental alertness away while it numbs the psychological discomfort that I had to flirt with SSRIs for in the first place. So here we come to the predicament: psychological discomfort is the very engine of writing. So whether you embrace the curse and try bareback writing or cope with this harmful habit of ours--writing-- with aid of utmost practicality. Pick your poison. Even if it reduces the urgency that is the essence of one's work, let's not forget the importance of one's survival.

In regards to my writing experience while of med, it feels as if I were perpetually under numbness you'd struggle to overcome every morning after you get out of bed but never fully get to be awake even after a few cups of strong coffee you'd gulp to drown sleepiness. And this drowsiness lasts until you go to sleep.

Once sitting down to write, I might manage to write some words, or even reach my daily quota but the process becomes rather perfunctory. Consequently it feels quite detached from those words I churned out. Or worse, I noticed that I often have a hard time locating a simple word or an expression that I would not have forgotten in a non-med routine.

The joke is that I feel too foggy now to discern if I am oversensitive or exercising sound judgment on the subject matter. Please picture me writing this under a thick blanket thrown over my head just with the hands stuck out banging the keys.