The Life Thread

Being honest with them is the best bet, I think. If you sit them down and tell them what could happen to them, and that you care enough about them to not want to see that happen, that's got to at least have a chance of stopping them, right?

 

Sad thing is that I have done this countless times already and it doesn't seem to make any difference what so ever. I'm kind of getting desperate at the moment.

 

If that's the case, do you think that you can succeed at getting through to this person at all? If the consequences they may face, coupled with how much you care about them don't get through, what will?

 

You are right. But there has to be something more I can do...I really don't want to see this person wind up in a difficult situation like this.

 

Well, if talking to them in that way hasn't worked, the only other possible choice you have would be to find someone else to talk to this person. If you can find somebody who this person would be more inclined to listen to, you might be able to get them to change their mind.

 

Hmmm...well I've had a few different people talk to this person now and no one has been able to make any difference...do I just give up? Or do I keep trying?

 

Eh, there's a difference between giving up and being supportive. In the end, all you can really do is act as a pillar for your friends just as you'd like them to act as one for you. People will still make bad choices. There's no getting past it.

 

Thing is ray this person knows the consequences and what will happen and is willing to face the consequences for this persons actions. Still this person is going to go ahead and do what it is this person wants to do.

Connolly thank you for your help. I guess all I can do is try to be there for this person and hope that this person sees sense eventually.

 

Honestly I think that I have tried everything apart from hypnosis and putting them in a straight jacket in a padded cell to prevent them from ever doing it....

I guess all that is left to do is pick up the pieces of broken hearts. No this person isn't suicidal btw.

And thank you ray, I'm going to need all the luck in the world I think.

 

deleted this question.

 

Frustrating isn't it. You mean so well and you feel so helpless. All you can do is lead a horse to water.

I'm sure it's an emotional issue overriding common sense. Some people just don't want to deal with reality. They're happy in their own little world of illusion and don't care if it doesn't make any sense.

Ever hear people say: I know, I know I know.....

or Yes but, Yes but, Yes but....

If they are lucky they will see the light and change. Otheres will have a crisis then change. Some, unfortunatly most, repeat these cycles of suffering for the rest of their lives.

Sad but true, you can't save people from themselves. They must do it on their own.

 

It's been a while. Finally coming back, I'll try my best to get back into it.

Anywho, so yeah. About a month ago, my mother and I get back from working out, and she stops short of the house. I was then told, my parents were finally getting divorced. I don't know why it upset me so much when she told me, the idea even upsets me now. We could all see this coming, my mother and father didn't seem to actually love eachother since I can remember. They really never got along.

My mother even got herself a boyfriend, she always told me it was more like a friend. But really. What kind of friend kisses and cuddles with you? xD Then, about 3 weeks ago, I came to find out my dad had a girlfriend as well. She even had the audacity to take my dad's phone for a little "because my mother was stressing him out." She even answered when I called. That really angered me.

Well, beyond all that, apparently when my dad signed the divorce papers he had a "heart attack". We all think it was just a panic attack and apparently since then, he's been having some problems.

So that's my fun stuff.

It's been so long! How are you all doing?

 

Damn, that's rough Bick. Glad you're back though.

 

Hi Bick. Welcome back, sorry you're going through a rough time.

 

I completely agree. You couldn't have said anything more or different, Torana. Now, though I am sure it's difficult, you're just going to have to stand there and hold her hand no matter what decision she makes. As a friend, she's going to need you, no matter what her choice is.
I have been in the same situation (without the minor detail of the boyfriend passing away) and I have no regrets for my decision. But I had terrific friends who held my hands and told me that I was doing the right thing for ME. That is always key and it seems like you are the best one to keep reminding her of that.

 

I hate, hate, hate, hate, divorces...!! My parents almost got divorced because my Dad's mother is this bitch of a lady who wanted to separate them and back-bitched about them to each-other and spread rumours. Thank God, they finally talked and came to know it was a lie!!

 

Let me ask you something. When you get into a physical brawl with your mother, it's pretty bad, right? Ugh. I'm so ****ing sick of living here.

 

My mother divorced my father very close to the time I was born, so I have no memories of him at all. I do have memories of my stepfather a few years later, and all I can say there is good riddance. I'm also divorced myself, and the worst part is what it puts the children through, no matter how hard you both try to minimize the impact.

However, I also know what it was doing to them while we tried to stay together for the children's sake. We weren't shouting, or sniping at one another - it was just as lively as cold ashes. That was when she decided to call it quits. I fought against it, but in retrospect it was the right decision. I had no idea at the time just how much of myself I had given up. And the kids were doing far better. The time they spent with each of us was better time than it had been.

And for me, I was reborn. I lived in a way I hadn't experienced during or before my marriage. Funny how things work out sometimes.

 

Sounds bad, Baywriter. Ae you more or less ok?

 

Yeah. I hurt myself more than she hurt me.

 

Ray, divorce does suck (for the kids); but at least they worked it out. ^^

My mother's been divorced twice. She's about to be on husband number three. Maybe it'll work this time.

 

owww, that sounds bad Bay.....I do understand, my mother still beats the hell outta me when she thinks I' doing something exceedingly wrong, and I've lifted my hand once or twice, though always regretting it later. And my sis, Ruchi, is always getting one because she can't seem to keep her damned mouth shut, provoking Mummy, and she's sure gotten thrashed with a broom twice or thrice, and beat my mother back once and twice too. But I know Mummy doesn't really mean to beat ujusts, she's pretty high on blood pressure so gets angry easily, but afterwards for a month or two she'll treat us like syrup. And I love my mother. But you have to have had it pretty hard if you can't wait to get out of the place!!,

 

My mother just hasn't forgiven me for the past, so I get punished for it. Like I'm not getting punished enough already without her help...

 

Past...???whose mother does?? But my mother never did resent that my father's mother would beat the hell out of her cos she'd given birth to us two girls and not a brother. She's just thankful y Dad shifted her to Naini so that she wouldn't be unhappy. And she's happy knowing we are studying in a school that's one of the best in India. And that we're better in that studying than the "boys" my Aunty gave birth to, becoming the favourite, and that someday those guys will be most likely working under us....so she's happy, despite of whatever she's had to put up with the past. The past is no reason for a Mom to blame her children and your mother's past couldn't be worse than my other can it?

 

The past makes us who we are today. And getting over those problems in the past can make us stronger than what we were. Bay, I hope everything works out.

AND BICK! HELLLOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! glad you are back, even if it'sfor a little... bit... sorry about the bad news.

Hmm.. there seems to be a few of us here touched by divorce. My mum and dad aren't divorced but My dad was married before he met mum and divorced before he met mum. I think.... but eyah, it's really odd. I remember being confused about the situation when I was younger. I wondered who this woman was to me, was she somehow related (to which I got an astounding ********* is not anything to you!) And I have an older half sister from dads first marriage. Her mum woudln't allow contact between them and my sister had to wait until she was eighteen before she could finally get in contact with dad. So it's unnerving. Being in the 'second family' I'm certain Dad didn't cheat on ********* with my mum but yeah.... odd.

Anyways, I hope everyone's situation gets better. Bay, I hope you can find a way to get out of that place, cause it's not healthy for you to be in that situation if it's constantly happening.