Is it normal to read back over what you have written previously and hate it? There are chapters I wrote several months ago which I was able to write from start to finish and seemed fine at the time, but now I read them back the writing sounds juvenile, unprofessional and unbelievable. Is it common to feel this way? Does it reflect something about skill as a writer, or is it natural to write in such a way and then have to go back over it and make it more professional sounding?
I am not sure if I can answer your other questions, but I do feel exactly the same way when I go back and read my drafts...
I think it's pretty common. A lot of writers seem to be perfectionists, so there's always room for improvement when you read older stuff. Certainly it's something I do - "Ugh, christ, how did I ever think this was good?" Take it as a sign that you've grown as a writer since then. Now you have the scope to see how it can be improved! Just don't let the inner critic get to you too much and convince you it's entirely garbage. Even if something's not worth editing into shape, just writing it was a valuable learning experience.
There a quote by some famous writer (don't recall who) that says something along the lines of "there are no good writers, only good rewriters."
Yes. Perfectly normal, I should say. The earliest bits to this novel I'm probably never going to finish were written some four years ago. They shame me. When stood next to the most recent chapters, it's as though they were written by somebody else. Somebody aggressively incompetent. Every time I dare glance at the oldest writing I still have access to, aged ~12 years, it makes me very nearly physically sick to my stomach. And that makes me very happy. It means I'm improving as a writer, and that I'm better able to know rubbish when I see it. I might even cringe at something I wrote quite recently, but the effect is less startling.
That level of rewriting seems normalish, though of course it depends on the individual. I think that the cycle tends to be faster for me--for example, in the past 24 hours or so I've rewritten the same new scene probably six times. The final product resembles the first one in the sense that it's in the same room with the same characters and depicts very approximately the same events, but I doubt that a single phrase, much less sentence, much less paragraph, is unchanged. It might be polished enough that the version that exists in a week will have a substantial resemblance to today's, or it might be completely blenderized again. I suspect that the issue may sometimes be whether the writer can clearly see more than one issue at a time--if you can only see one, you need to polish one flaw away before you can see the next one. I was going to expand on that idea with examples, but my brain just shut down. Maybe I will later.
I'm probably not supposed to admit this, but I hate everything I've written. It's a combination of low self-esteem and my real weaknesses as a writer. I know that when I wrote the words, and edited the words, I was proud of them, and felt happy they were fit for publication. Self-doubt starts to creep in, though, and I always feel like I need to do better.
Same. But I have high self-esteem, bordering on sociopathic narcissism. Just shows you that people with deep neurosis are like snowflakes... with neurosis.
I'm the same way. It's why I consciously give myself a decent gap between writing and editing. I've realize that the reason everything flows so smoothly the first time I write/edit, is because I know exactly what's coming. You also have, from repetition, a solid mental picture of what's going on. Later on, that clarity is gone, and you may find that having that picture was critical for reading it the way you want it read. , so you have to go back and make that picture clearer in the actual text. You contextualize differently immediately after writing than later. This is probably true for anything. Besides writing, I know it's the case for writing software and painting. Sarah C Anderson touched on this nicely:
I'm happy with what I'm writing, but I'm also scared to read it. I can tell as I'm writing it's choppy, undescriptive, what description there is is blargh, all around a good example for why the first draft is called the 'rough'. But I'm also happy to be getting words on the page.
Thanks everyone. It's really encouraging to read your responses and to know that I'm not the only one who feels this way. I'm going to try to reflect objectively on what specifically I dislike when I read back over my own writing, though I think it is my use of simile and metaphor, and my descriptions of characters' thoughts and actions. That probably doesn't leave a lot else I do think as others have said that self-esteem plays a big part here. I feel the same when I listen back to songs I have written and recorded and realise they are cheesy, clichéd and amateur
As long as you push through the wall of self-doubt, then you're on your way. Authors often give the advice "Give yourself permission to fail", and I think that's sometimes a part of it, the thought of failure paralyses a lot of writers. It's all about managing your mind. I'm an advocate of self-hypnosis and meditation. If you can find a way to convince yourself that hating/loathing your work is a good sign and it's a sign that you're on the right track, then that's a huge hurdle that you've vaulted.
That sounds like great advice. It's easy to get disheartened. I had intended to release an album of songs, but have now convinced myself that nothing I produce will be good enough. It doesn't help that I compare myself to the people I look up to, and nothing short of actually being Thom Yorke will be good enough for me I don't think I'll get that way with writing though. I can see that a lot of what I have done is objectively decent. And what isn't, I'm trying to see as a learning opportunity rather than something to get depressed about.
There's absolutely nothing at all wrong with having role-models and hopes of being their equal, in fact, it's aspiration. Stephen King wrote something like that in his book "On writing", but for the life of me I can't remember what he said. Good for you. And try the self-hypnosis/meditation thing. It doesn't necessarily rewire our brain, but it can mask some of the neurosis that we suffer from, and in doing so, it can make us reach our goals.
The good prose that I’ve re-read is great stuff, but I don't remember writing them. The bad stuff I take out in big chunks (paragraphs) but I don't throw them away. They just sit on the sidelines waiting to be reassembled. Sort of like my Norton motorcycle that has been apart for years, I know I can put it back together.
Hate is a strong word. I don't think I hate any of my writing. Perhaps I'm one of the fortunate few whose first drafts always stink. There are no disappointments because my expectation is low. My better written stuff is a measure of time, rather than skill.
I don't think you hate it. I think that when time passes and you experience and read others work. You go back to your work and second guess yourself. I know I do. I do sometimes say I suck and I write like an eight-year-old. But that's because you're reading it with a clear mind. not so caught up in the story anymore. Well, with a fresh mind your stories begin to take a better form and you as a writer get to put a bit more effort into your work. I was so drained lately that I stopped writing my novel. a week passed. And here I am, sitting in my living room, everyone asleep and me? well, I'm editing and reading. falling in love all over again.
I guess it can happen, but the more you write, the less likely it is to happen. It's normal to revise and edit a rough draft once you've completed your manuscript. H.
Hating what you've written is totally normal. I can write something and think it's great, the best thing I ever wrote, only to go back over it later and feel like I must be some sort of joke and have no business writing. However, a month later I might once again fall back in love with said piece of writing without having done a thing to it. The highs and lows can be crazy. Just know that it is difficult to judge our own work.
Yes, I'd say it's normal, even inevitable. It happens to me quite often, especially when I return to my work after a day or two. As the poster above said, it can be incredibly hard to judge your own work, especially if it's still in the process of being written. I'd even say I hate my work most of the time.
You aren't alone. The first draft of my WIP (though never finished) makes me nearly gag at some parts. Actually, what happened is I took a break from writing for a few months and when I came back to the first draft I was like "I REALLY wrote this???" Needless to say, the second draft was started. But even though my first draft embarrasses me for the most part, and it isn't technically finished, it makes me proud. It's something I invested a lot of time in, and I can use it as a comparison with my second draft. It even shows much I've fleshed out the story since I wrote the first draft. So yes, you're going to hate it, it's going to embarrass you, and you're going to have to work on it, but be proud it exists because it shows how much better you're getting at writing.
A few years ago I absolutely would have related to this. With my more recent projects I've found that if I let my writing sit for a few months and then come back to it I actually really like it. It's not flawless of course but it's not terrible. But if I was to go back and read my work from 10+ (heck even just 5+) years ago then nope it is beyond dreadful.
I recommend you NOT go back and re-read your earlier chapters, unless you need something for continuity... just what was that character's hair color? Criticizing what I have already written is a recipe for me, for discouragement and procrastination, and was partly the cause for my setting my WIP aside for 13 years. I finish a paragraph and edit it for SPaG, tag lines, basic stuff. When I finish a chapter, I re-read it and make minor changes, then give it to my wife, @K McIntyre, who will usually rip my run-on sentences to shreds, I retype it, then job done. I won't look at that chapter until the last one is done and am starting the edit phase.
Used to have a bad habit that revolved around hating my work. I'd reread it, find one part I didn't like and then.....destroy it. Why? Because such a horrible piece of junk shouldn't be allowed to exist! .... ..... .... Extreme much? Nowadays I don't look back and hate what I've written, though I always see ways "This could be better". I'd then tweak it slightly or simply move on as staring at it would bring back those destructive memories. Dun dun duuuuuun.
I usually wouldn't say that I 'hate' what I've written. Yesterday and today though? I've started over from scratch seven times for the beginning of book three in my trilogy, and I am still exactly nowhere. My head just isn't in it.
