Hi. I'm just wondering...what is your opinion on using ellipses frequently in writing? Ever since reading Wanderlust by Danielle Steel, I've become fond of using dots to create a more natural voice. Example: Annabelle had the frail blonde look of an angel, that look of total fragility that was so popular in the thirties...and the twenties...and decades and centuries before that...Annabelle the little princess...the baby...Audrey could still remember holding her in her arms and crooning to her after their parents had died on the way home from Bora-Bora. p. 4, Wanderlust Here's an example from my own writing: She looked at him. Tears gone, he saw her soul. Strong... yet soft... syrup brown, full of spice and warmth and life.... wait no.. not life..not warmth. Just strength. Tired strength. Strength that's been worn down and tested and attacked. This girl... she's been through some shit. Her eyes are telling him. Is it clear? Interesting? Natural? Or is it annoying? Frustrating? Too hesitant and uncertain?
I might not be the best to comment because I write very abbreviated and focused, but I use ellipses only in very specific circumstances: namely when there's a little hesitation before the next part. A pause, longer and smoother than the sharp interruption of an em-dash. For me, the paragraph is annoying. I don't feel the ellipses are needed. Of course, I don't have context so there might be a valid reason for including them: like both of them are in a place where time has stopped. That's the only reason I could construct to allow that the ellipses there are needed. This many ellipses stretch time way past it's natural pacing. But let's hear what others say. I won't claim my opinion is the only valid one
The paragraph you mention is a few too many ellipses, in my view. I think it could work - it makes the character voice sound ponderous, like you are following her train of thought in real time, but five ellipses don't belong in one sentence (third one down). One or two would be the max. Limit
I tend to use ellipses when information is missing like part of a spoken sentence being missed because the call is being interrupted with static. Otherwise I usually use a dialogue tag to denote a pause or if just imitating normal speech I use commas. Example on how I might do things differently: Annabelle had the frail blonde look of an angel, that look of total fragility that was so popular in the thirties, and the twenties, and decades and centuries before that. Annabelle the little princess, the baby, Audrey could still remember holding her in her arms and crooning to her after their parents had died on the way home from Bora-Bora.
Interesting opinion. Thank you. If it helps, the two are sitting in a small, dimly lit bedroom. The woman had been staring down, avoiding the man's gaze before she finally looks at him directly.
Thank you for your input . I used to do something similar, but I stopped when I found the writing too choppy. Ellipses seem smoother, but I don't want to frustrate the reader, you know?
I see. Do you think commas would have been a better choice?Or it would it be better to have short sentences: And the twenties. And decades and centuries before that. Thanks for your input, by the way.
IMO, both samples used far too many ellipses. Yes, I think that short sentences would have been much better.
Honestly, I've always found less is more when using ellipses. As a stylistic choice, they can provide a good accent on a phrase (apart from when they're being utilized to emphasize where a quote had something omitted), but they easily become distracting unless a great deal of skill is utilized, or if the context calls for it. I liked the last ellipses you used for sure, it worked and made the phrase effective. The effectiveness might have been diminished by the ones that came before, but remember it's just my opinion; when it comes to our own personal style, we're the final arbiter of what we choose to do and what feels the most right.
I think that ellipsis should only be in a book within dialogue. In dialogue they are very expressive, helping to show the reader tone and inflection and when the speaker just left things hanging. I definitely use them too much in that regard, but I do think they are a really superb tool for getting across how people actually speak in the real world. The way that someone pauses to find the right word or can't quite get something out or leaves a sentence fragment hanging I think is really valuable. But personally I wouldn't use them in prose except under really specific circumstances. I think if you use them once or twice in first person narration that can be ok, because it's trying to be more like speech but even then I think that it has to be the only way to do something. I think it's ok to have it as something really expressive; like if the narrator has just come to a some big realisation. But not in the way that you presented in your examples. People tell me that the way I use ellipsis in my dialogue (pre-editing anyway) is distracting and irritating because it feels like it takes forever for people to say things. Yes, they see what I'm doing but I've been told to just cut that crap out unless it's something important. I cut about six thousand sets of ellipsis from my last book after my first beta wrapped my knuckles about it, and she was right. No, it's not as expressive now but it's much easier to read than it was. You can just read it like a book, you don't have try to sound it out in your head to get it. When people are crying or upset or whatever then that's fine, because it's supposed to be broken, but when it's just a random sentence, yeah just stick with writing normal sentences. And in prose this goes double. In so many words; don't pause for effect in your prose.
I generally use ellipses for a clear and audible pause-for-thought in a person who normally doesn't pause a lot, or, once in a long while, a pause in action. I just did a quick search, and it appears that I use them in fewer than ten percent of my scenes, and I only use one or two per scene when I do use them.
I only really use ellipses to indicate trailing off - mostly in dialogue, occasionally in prose. There are a lot of grammatical options out there and I don't think relying on ellipses - or on any one punctuation mark! - is the best idea. Anything is going to get samey and tiring if you overuse it. I'm obsessed with dashes, which you can probably get an inkling of just from this post. The problem with those is they can make the writing seems choppy and disjointed, while with ellipses you can come off as really meandering and unfocused.
Yeah, I totally agree, both about ellipsis and dashes. They have their place and their use and it's important to use them the right way. Dashes are supposed to be (correct me if I'm wrong) an abrupt interruption, ellipsis is for tailing off. I know I over use ellipsis myself, I tend to try and transcribe someone's voice as they're speaking including the little verbal ticks that people have, or the way they pause to emphasise a word or whatever, and that's something I'm trying to rein in a bit because, as you say, if you do it too much it just stops being so effective. Other readers who don't know exactly how it's supposed to sound start to feel like no-one is ever really doing anything, just wandering around in every sentence.
I love using ellipses, and even for me that felt like too many. When there are so many they kind of lose their effect and just seem like a weird affectation. I'd recommend saving them for when you really need them.
I use ellipsis exclusively for dialogue and thoughts (and even then, sparingly), but I don't use them anywhere else in my writing. Excessive use as in the examples above would not have me continuing to read past the first couple of chapters. It just comes off as an affectation to me, but I strongly prefer straightforward writing without a much stylistic flair. Of course, you can take that advice with a grain of salt as Danielle Steel has certainly sold a few more books than I have, LOL.
I love ellipsis, but I do try to limit their use to thoughts and dialogue (like @Laurin Kelly ). That said, they usually don't bother me much unless they're really excessive or unnecessary. In your example, they definitely bug me. It's a bit too much for me.
It seems that everyone here shares a similar opinion on ellipses. It kinda reminds me of salt now: a sprinkling is enjoyable and effective, while too much is inedible and unreadable. Salt suits certain dishes more than others, and ellipses can be better in dialogue than prose. At the end of the day, I want my readers to enjoy the story. If too many dots prevent them from doing that, then I'll certainly tone it down. I'm glad I experimented and sought feedback. Thank you all for your insight What do you think of this edited sample? She looks at him. Tears gone, he can see her soul: strong, yet soft. Her eyes are syrup brown, full of spice and warmth and life....wait no, not life, not warmth. Just strength, but tired strength. Strength that's been worn down and tested and attacked. This girl... she's been through some shit. Her eyes are telling him. (Yes, its supposed to be in present tense. I'm always mixing up my tenses for some reason.)
That's about right. It's not always easy to judge what's right until you taste it, but the more you experiment the better feel you get for it
I have written to little to say that I know how to use them. So I do as many of you (and my delimiter book) say. Only in dialogue, and sparsely. (Extract from last months Short Story contest.) Lisbeth is a teaser(friendly), the subject is very important to Graham. This is a telephone conversion. No dialouge tags but you know that it's Lisbeth that is the first speaker. --- “You know this wasn’t easy…” “Ok, I'll buy you a box of the finest chocolates in the tax-free.” “I had to call 5 institutions in order to find what she was studying. And I had to find her teacher...” “Two boxes of chocolates.” “I got hold of her after her afternoon lessons. But you know it’s difficult to persuade someone you don't know-” “Lisbeth, what did she say, what should I do?” said Graham. --- After two of these teasing lines Graham has had enough and interrupts her (with a dash).
I see. I like this dialogue. I do something similar in conversations, but I also use ellipses between words. Sometimes, I replace words with ellipses, as in the example below: "Oh. Um, Alex?" "Mmm?" "Remember when you found Elizia and I in that forest? On Crescent Island?" "..." "Alex?" He yawns. "Yeah" "Uh. I know it's been so long, but you said something about Dawn singing." "Yeah...why?" he looks at me now, eyes a bit more awake. I try to be cautious without so the conversations sound natural but aren't frustrating to read.
She's... apparently the bestselling author alive? Why have I never heard of her? Can't believe that she actually has such a pen name-ish real name.
