The Not Happy Thread

That would be the Broad St pump, but I believe it is missing the pump handle.

 

Goddamn it!


4 o'clock to 9 o'clock is the problem, if you're not sure why I'm pissed off.

 

The medicine I take has to be compounded at a specialty phamacist. I generally wait untill I have about a week's worth left before I call in for a refill. I made that call last Wednsday.

Unfortunately, when I called, I spoke to a newish employee who felt I hadn't provided all the information he needed so he flaged my refill for a call back that never came and my perscription didn't get filled. So now I'm totally out of my medication.

I got everything straightened out, but It's going to be a few days without my medicine.

 

Today is regularly a day off for me, but I have to go in and open the store and hang out till the guys scheduled to work today show up. I'm not feeling the best and I'd really rather go back to bed.

 

For You ...a wonderful song to console your ills.

 

Trying to draw - fail.
Trying to engrave glass jewelry - fail.
Don't get my started on my writing.

I have this need of making creative things. Silly? Maybe, but it's that little thing that keeps me afloat in life.

So on days like today when I fail everything... it's bound to end badly.

 

I hate people right now. Not all people. Just people who feel like their entitled to things that don't belong to them. Specifically, I'm really tired of dealing with the family of the woman who was sleeping with my deceased husband. She's decided she wants his vehicle and is making things difficult, to say the least. Her father called the bank which held the loan on the said vehicle, and gave them "conflicting information". Now, I'm not sure what kind of information could be in conflict because the douchebag was still legally married when he shacked up with this woman, so in the eyes of the state of Texas, they couldn't be considered common law as she thought.... but... Thanks to this mess, I now have to go to court in Texas.

I don't want to be petty about things, but after so many years of being treated like I didn't matter, I'm tired. Tired of dealing with crap from other people. I worked my ass off for the last twelve years. Most of the time seven days a week for years on end. I couldn't take my vacation time, hell I drove a pos pickup that was on its last legs up until three years ago. I didn't do these things because I wanted to. I did them for the relationship so that we would have a place to live, food to eat. What did it get me? Being crapped on. I mourned the death of my marriage a long time ago, and I'm done mourning the death of the man I knew when we married. They were not the same and hadn't been for some time.

Yes, I'm bitter, but mostly I'm just mad. This woman's father had the gall to tell me they wanted the truck because my husband was the love of his 22-year-old daughter's life. I don't doubt he was. But, it doesn't change the fact that I have to follow the rules regarding my husband's estate. And that frankly, I'm sick of being lied too. I'm tired of being taken advantage of, and this feels like that. I just don't care what they want. Nobody cared what I wanted, so why should I?

 

Thanks! It's just a mess. And sadly, this is the only place I can really vent about it.

 

My medicine showed up today, FedEx no less, so the little snafu has been forgiven,.

 

Lord 'a' mercy! On what legal basis does this little twerp make a claim like that? Good luck, and I pray God it's not too much of a hassle for you to take care of it.

 

Ah, yes. As the curse popular among my crowd in high school had it, "Go find a doorknob!"

 

Was just about to go finish the last of the Wolfenstien 2 campaign and they updated the graphics to where my computer can't run it anymore. Lame.

 

I dunno about Wolfenstien 2 specifically, but try Googling "graphics patch downgrade wolfenstien 2". Very commonly, people will create custom patches for games so that you can hard-downgrade graphics. Other times, there might be other work arounds, too. When Blizzard Entertainment's Diablo 3 came out back in like 2012, I was still playing on a shitty old Lenovo turd PC with an integrated video card. Diablo 3 refused to even launch, saying my system speccs were too weak. I found a workaround that had me going into some system file in the game's folders and changing some random '1' to a '0'. Then the game would let me boot it, and guess what? The damn thing ran pretty much okay. A little laggy and stuttery, but it was freaking playable. Game devs do this 'lockout' stuff to make sure people on weaker machines who could barely run the game can, instead, not run the game at all, because they find it easier to simply not let these people boot the game at all than it is to deal with all the backlash from people complaining the game runs poorly (on their dumpster PCs) or people spamming their support hotlines.

I can kind of understand why they do it, but it's still super shitty.

 

I feel like taking a walk - or better yet a run - but it's already dark outside. And snow.

I'm just restless and stressed over next week and I've got nothing to do to keep my brain occupied.

 

She's not thinking legally, you nailed it, she's just a twerp, and her father isn't much better.

 

I've been feeling more lonely lately.
Lonely and the anxiety is getting worse again.
I think hope it's just nerves over the possibility of a new job next week. It's scary - of course - but at the same time it will fix about a big chunk of my issues at the moment.

I am more happy on my own - or at least stronger - but it's just so much scarier facing some things alone.

 

After 4 years of loneliness, nothing is scary anymore. You start to understand that somethings are
a bit harder to cope with, but on the positive side there is no one there to abandon you.

 

Not a Not Happy, and not even especially helpful, but can I just say, @Cave Troll, don't ever change your avatar again.

 

Parts of me hopes I won't have to spend 4 years alone.

Other parts are back with the feeling that it might be best to spend my entire life on my own.

It's just harder to keep myself from things like self harm now that I'm on my own. Before I couldn't go through with it because I'd make someone disappointed in me. Now there is only me, and my self worth isn't too high, so I can't argue with myself to keep safe for the sake of myself.

...there I go all pathetic again. Sorry about that.

 

Well, some of us might be "disappointed" if you did something harmful to yourself...

I'd be really fucking sad and angry about that.

Please, please take good care of yourself, @Lemie . People care about you, even if sometimes it doesn't always feel that way.

 

It's not pathetic to feel down on yourself, and you don't need to apologise. Don't worry. Vent away, it's what we're here for. Good luck with the interview, maybe you'll feel better if you get the job. Why don't you go and eat some ice cream and remind yourself that there's no-one there to judge you? Maybe that'll help. (Says eighteen-year-old who's never lived alone. )

 

To be honest the first 2-3 are the hardest. Once you get through all the bad and dark places
it is not so bad, but even I have days when it would be nice to end it all.

You have so much more to look forward to than I do. Your young, pretty, intelligent, and live
in a pretty neat part of the world. That and the people there are not narcissistic religious hypocrites,
that shun those outside of their little indoctrinated community. So chin up, your sitch could be
much worse than it is at the present.

 

Now I feel guilty instead!

Thank you, though.

This writing community is my main support at the moment. I know it's not this forums primary job, but I don't really have friends offline and my relationship with my parents are still shaky, though it's better since I moved out.

I promise to take better care of myself, though.

I just feel like I've done nothing more than feeling sorry for myself these past months, and in front of all you guys! Though this is the only place I can vent, so...

It's not an interview, actually. I'll get an answer from a company I've been in contact with on and of this entire month. It's almost guaranteed, but it's been a bit up and down so I won't take it for granted until I'm actually there.

I do have ice cream in the fridge, but then again I'm nicely tucked down in bed. I was going to sleep - but some times night terrors starts before you fall asleep.

Still, thank you! I'll keep that ice cream in mind until next weekend (damn healthy me not eating sugary stuff on a week day! Oh, and yes, it's Monday over here.)