That Moment...

TMW (some years ago)... you have an epiphany about the massive, intense emotional impact of sexual behavior, and our failure to acknowledge, or find cultural balance with our genetic programming... and face the task of writing a story about all of it.

Shit Shit Shit! I have cried my eyeballs out so many times over the good, bad, and inevitable of human nature. It's too late. I know too much. I commited, and I will finish it if it kills me. Maybe the gratuitous candy in it will help the world learn something about itself.
Now you know how I chose my avatar...

(@Iain Aschendale nowhere nearly made a joke of the issue. Quite the opposite. I never thought any of this would come to light in a forum)

 

TMW you are so hungry that you want to eat all the food you can see.

 

They call that a see-food diet!

 

Not quite up there with having to gnaw off a limb to suppress hunger pangs.

 

TMW you read that sentence again...and blink. and then highlight it, and it's 73, I said SEVENTY-THREE words long...and cutting it would damage the narrative voice.

and then the next damn sentence rings in at 42.

 

Flop that fatty on the Three Sentence table and lemmie see.

 

schplopp!

 

TMW... you recall your emojinity, and realize you've become an emoji slut

 

I'll be screwed in a survival situation. My canines aren't pointed.

 

Easily solved, simply file them to a point. Actually, don't try this at home!

 

I saw in a documentary about a tribe that practices sharpening teeth as a symbol of status and fashion.

 

I don't like the sensation of filing my nails, so filing my teeth is never gonna happen.

 

They can do tooth filing at the dentist, so you could probably get put out for the whole ordeal. Mind you, it's usually done to make teeth look less wonky, so I have no idea what an average dentist would say if a relatively normal chap or chappette came in looking for the full Biter package.

 

Find someone like Jaws did.

 

You can get chrome "grillz" on eBay for like 20 bucks too.

 

I guess my point was that they were permanent and not
fake.

 

Interesting choice of bonding them.

 

That [awkward] moment when.... you join in a conversation half way through, get completely the wrong idea of the topic and say something so strange and idiotic everyone looks at you funny like you have finally lost it before the awkward silence rolls in as I have effectively killed the entire conversation.........

 

"...So, how 'bout that local sports team?"

 

the true art is getting the conversation going again.

 

The only problem is that I am terrible at getting a conversation started....

 

Just say, "Hooray for Donald Trump! Boy, I wish I could see him naked! Let's take up a collection a buy him a tutu!"