Things That Annoy Me, But Shouldn't

But... you can dry your ears as you drive your Lambroghini !!

 

By what standard?

 

The Great British Bake Show was all polite curtsies and how-do-you-dos until the episode where they were tasked to make traditional American pies. All the politesse dropped and everyone reached for the snark knife.

So much for politeness. Your slip is showing, British bakers.

 

Yeah... It's much more interesting to feed a crocodile to chickens.

 

I

I much prefer the crocodile to feed me the chicken!

 

If a crocodile wants to feed you a chicken, I don't think you can stop it.

 

Are you talking abut waitressdiles?

 

Crocotress?

 

Who can resist them alligator gals?

[idiot]

 

Just don't cut your thang on them scales.

 

Mmm, yeah. Look at that.... cloaca.

 

I'm assuming they wear crocktail dresses.

 

Hiaasen does have an interesting tube clip about that topic. He is telling about Florida and what happens there...

(Anyone is free to post it if someone finds it.)

 

Things that annoy me just now:

S - l - o - w l - e - c - t - u - r - i - n - g...

If it takes 17 minutes to get to main term and you go forward so f*cking slowly that you don't have time to open your metodology or analysis or anything that has anything to do with scientific work... Maybe flipping burgers is more your thing.

Your audience does have a life. Their time is valuable. Driving hundreds of kilometers for some lecture costs time and money. You should take that into account and stop the f*cking empty babbling about self-evident things and get to the point.

 

How many shows have been canceled during that run? I almost said "how many great show," but every single show that has been canceled deserved to be on the air more than them. It's dumber than reality TV!

Late for Pre-K is our new favorite time to suddenly need to pee.

 

People who won't pronounce the "g" in strength. I know, it's half the English-speaking world. That's why it shouldn't annoy me.

 

For me it's the glottal stop being used in place of medial "t" sounds.

"It's gi'in dark, we be'er get down the moun'ain soon."

Of course, for an antidote to this, just lis10 to Martha Stewart, who swee10s her tea from It'aly most carefully.

 

The woman across the building whose laughter is always filling the air...

I mean... It's loud enough to sound like she's in the room and sometimes it goes on for what feels like forever.

I shouldn't complain about peoples happiness... but either she belongs at an asylum, of I want some of what she's having.

 

Or maybe you belong at an asylum. #Don't we all.

 

Hey, I've kept most of my sanity after almost a year in this hell!

...though my paranoia has grown. Mostly because I'm not sure if it's paranoia or just a healthy reaction to what's going on.

If the asylum has heat, sign me up!

 

Or maybe this is the asylum and the reason we can't find extra terrestrial life is because they're all avoiding us, all of the abduction cases being reported in Nevada are really just new inmates being dropped off, and the world really is being run by lizard people because they're secretly our orderlies and caregivers.

 

Nope, but they do have plenty of fresh air.

 

How many deaf journalists can thete be that we need that woman waggling her fingers in the air at every press conference?

 

I know I love complaining about public transport but:

a) The buss was all full when I got on today. I'm at the second stop. Not a good time.
b) The girl who sat down next to me on my way home refused to stand up as I tried to get out, but only turned her body slightly. No, sorry, don't feel comfortable almost sitting in your lap to get out, stranger!