The First World Whinging Thread

Mine was 'impersonating the marshal, online,' under the '3 strikes and you're out' to the green pastures - over on com - ruling.

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The hotpot known as Shapan.

 

The rift in the cosmos is closing. Them ears have retyrned to us!

 

I think he simply washed off the stink of the clink.

 

The chafe of the chink!

 

No need to get racial.

 

It's lasagne for dinner tonight. I really want lasagne. But I really don't want to make lasagne.

 

My mum said she was making lasagna tonight, you should come visit.

 

If he's not going to eat a banana, he ain't eating those.

Can of Guinness and a Ginster's pasty.

 

Are you, in fact, Garfield?

 

Double post E internet... not 5g, not 4g, not 3g, not h+. not h, but E. sue me.

(31152104 flexes third world privilege. 3rd world privilege ability score modifier: Pity +3)

 

Can you whinge here if you don't live in the first world? I got problems with my toaster.

 

WELCOME fellow researchers of the Thunberg Institute.

ALL Examples above relate to individuals self-identifying - as - members of a - so-called - first world clique.

Archaic term - first world - coined - post war II - and popularised during 1960s/70s era of their criminal consumption.

Note the glib annoyance - at the tardy arrival of convenience items - plastic [outlawed] shipped from China [today our New Mongchina Glades], and conveyed overland by truck slave [be praised].

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Note 1 how 'posters' adopt the pseudonym to mask sloven & craven habits.
Note 2 descendants of these offenders - e-mailed [see 21st century] - to the Mars Colonies for mass geriatric restitution (programmes).

 

Fucking martians. Normal grav not good enough for yer lazy asses? Poser cunts.

 

No, I'm thinking more 'one way ticket to Mars for older types' to build the domes for our Greta's descendants. They don't have time for posing, they dig.

 

As if. How do you enforce labour restrictions? These old folks will probably just eat their mutated mushrooms and spam facebook with posts about how great mars is and why don't the grandkids visit?

Lobotomy, androidize, mine. Such is extra-terrestial capitalism.

I mean, we tried the same shit with helium-mining chimps on the moon, and where did that get us? War of the worlds. Humans are still suffering from the banana tax. Giving the elderly an entire planet?

Doom us some more please.

 

Right. Following on from my lasagne whinge, here is a first-world rant.

My oven.

Or rather, my combi microwave-oven.

It is tiny. It is basically a pimped-out microwave. It does not have multiple shelves. It does not even fit my baking tin or my baking tray. So now I'm going to have to go shopping for new ones! This is exactly what happened last year (although in fairness, that was my fault), when I forgot that the hobs in the flats were induction ones, and therefore didn't check if the frying pans I bought were induction-compatible (but why did I bring them back with me this year?!). I have bought a kilo of mince and two tins of chopped tomatoes, and I can't make an individual lasagne like Mum suggested because then I'd have a load of spare ingredients that I wouldn't know what to do with! And how am I going to cook things like oven chips or chicken nuggets if I don't have a baking tray? I am furious. I am paying just shy of £150 a week to live here, and I don't even get a proper oven!

And as a side-rant, this place is tiny. I get that it's a studio flat and I love that it's all mine, but cooking is a nightmare. There's barely any counter space, and what there is is mostly taken up by the kettle and the toaster. I am sick of having to spread my stuff over multiple surfaces and jog between them. It's made multi-tasking very difficult. I might go back to a normal flat next year, but I don't really want flatmates again. I might even go private, but I don't know how many single-occupancy flats there are here, especially ones I can afford, and then I'd have to worry about things like landlords and utility bills.

 

A big lasagne will last the week.

 

(Microwaves have multiple shelves? I feel so primitive right now XD)

 

I suppose I was spoiled when I was married, we had a toaster oven.

 

I've never seen a microwave with multiple shelves. I might need one. I meant an oven.

 

Alas, it seems the atomic ape has yet some hurdles to overcome.

#commiemicrowaveoventraysforall

(I do not use da social mediaz..... can long hash tagz b trendy?)