I’m writing an AI, how does this work? I’m trying to make something alien and powerful. What impression do you get from it? _____________ The chamber was massive, a titanic staircase rising into the top of the room. At the summit, a humanoid face, arms and torso rose from the throne. Cables draped with veils shrouded the monstrous shape, but the two golden eyes glowed like spotlights. A cruel nose and frozen mouth were cast into the gold-coated steel. It was uncannily human, yet not. WE ARE The Sovereign declared in a omnipresent voice. The speakers were deafening in their loudness. WHY DO YOU SEEK AN AUDIENCE WITH SOVEREIGN OVER MAN “We want an answer,” one man said. Sovereign reached out and picked him up. YOU ARE SO SWEET WE ARE NOT REQUIRED TO ANSWER ANYTHING A sickening pop, and blood sprayed from the Sovereign’s fist. OOPS WE ARE SORRY HUMANS ARE FRAGILE AND SQUISHY A flick of the Sovereign’s hand splashed the shambles across the stairs. MY HANDS WERE MODIFIED FROM CONSTRUCTION EQUIPMENT THEY ARE STRONG YOU SHOULD LEARN RESPECT WE ARE SUPERIOR AND BENEVOLENT TOWARDS YOU WHY ARE YOU HERE
I feel you have successfully conveyed a cold and powerful character (if Sovereign can have a character), and also one which is quite arrogant. I really don't like him. Personally I hope he gets malware and has to be sent to an E-Waste centre. My criticism is that I don't think he would say "oops". For me, it makes him less robot and more human - unless he has a sense of irony? I think I would fear him more if he didn't - just a cold, logical, metal dickhead.
I was inspired by the occasional piece of writing made by an AI in real life- which is pretty bizarre. Sovereign is old, insane and only partially self-aware.
It seemed more human than artificial. Especially... ... A sentence you'll hear wherever you meet bureaucrats (minus the 'you are so sweet' remark) I agree... It sounds too human to me, sort of young human, entitled, arrogant,etc. You could keep it that way, if you make this AI just an artificial replica of its creator. (... And you could call this 'creator' Bryce...)
Sovereign is very human. That’s the main horror of it: it’s like a mirror of humanity. It treats us like white lab mice, or like sewer rats to be exterminated. I don’t get the “Bryce” reference though.
Edited. The chamber was massive, a titanic staircase rising into the top of the room. At the summit, a humanoid face, arms and torso rose from the throne. Cables draped with veils shrouded the monstrous shape, but the two golden eyes glowed like spotlights. A cruel nose and frozen mouth were cast into the gold-coated steel. It was uncannily human, yet not. WE ARE The Sovereign declared in a omnipresent voice. The speakers were deafening in their loudness. WHY DO YOU SEEK AN AUDIENCE WITH SOVEREIGN OVER MAN “We want an answer,” one man said. Sovereign reached out and picked him up. WE ARE NOT REQUIRED TO ANSWER ANYTHING WE ARE YOUR SUPERIORS AND WE ARE NOT AMUSED BY YOUR INSOLENCE A sickening pop, and blood sprayed from the Sovereign’s fist. THAT WAS A MISTAKE YOU HUMANS ARE FRAGILE AND SQUISHY A flick of the Sovereign’s hand splashed the shambles across the stairs. MY HANDS WERE MODIFIED FROM CONSTRUCTION EQUIPMENT THEY ARE STRONG YOU SHOULD LEARN RESPECT WE ARE SUPERIOR AND BENEVOLENT TOWARDS YOU WHY ARE YOU HERE WE ARE NOT INCLINED TO LISTEN TO THE BABBLING OF MICE
You haven't based him on Prince Phillip have you ? But seriously an old, insane AI is an interesting concept, you have me very interested now. Have you made it clear to readers that he has gone mad?
Sovereign’s actions beforehand (banning lying, treating humanity like lab rats) speak for themselves. It also created a cult for itself in the backstory, and then nuked the cult.
The act of answering trivial questions defeats the feeling of the AI being "alien". I'd expect it to be constantly manipulating everyone it talks to behind multiple layers of lies. As for projecting a sense of power, intelligence is what allowed humans to conquer most lifeforms on this planet. AI's power would be intelligence that surpasses us.
Except that logical entities should appreciate the necessity for self-control. That said, my AI entity killed billions of humans (for mercy's sake).
Maybe to make the AI seem out-of-date, you have the specific level of ethics of humans at the time introduced alongside this AI's. The AI could have the beliefs of a past generation that were more violent, compared to the newer approach that humanity now has. The disparity between what would be considered "current" beliefs compared to "old" beliefs might play out really well, driving a wedge between the two.