So I have this charter that is a human representation of death and I am trying to write a prologue that introduces her but its turning out to be difficult to say the least. In my current iteration we have Death (The Spirit) Talking about a child being born in the land of the dead but I feel as if that's too cliched. My question is how does one make a hook that is interesting enough for a 2-3 page prologue.
This isn't a character you want help developing, it's just a vague idea that you want to turn into a story. You can't know what would make a good hook until you know the basic direction of the story itself and have a few characters to play their parts in it.
Ok, since that wasn't very constructive or helpful, let me offer a little more. You could begin by coming up with a hook, and let the rest of the story grow from it. But I think what you need first and foremost is a good idea of the character. Who is she? Aside from being a human woman who's also housing the spectre of Death. What kind of woman is she, in what kind of world/setting? The ordinary modern world, a medieval fantasy setting? Something else entirely? Then, unless it's going to be a completely inernal conflict (which are very difficult to write), you need at least one more character. There has to be a protagonist (main character) and an antagonist (the force working against them). And usually there's a supporting cast as well. There needs to be some central conflict that they're all involved in. Probably that conflict will have something to do with Death, or with the idea of someone being forced to also be Death incarnate. Is this Death/woman your main character, or the antagonist? One possibility—the conflict might be between the woman and her other self, a sort of Jeckyll and Hyde split personality thing (suggested already in the thread title). Of course that's internal conflict, and will not be nearly as easy to write as external conflict (c0nflict against someone or something else).
@Xoic I get it I should have told you more about the character I have two char sheets let me copy and past them This is Annable's WIP Char Sheet: Name: Annabelle Morana Age: 18 at time of death Born: Oct 31 2221 Type: Demigod Position Death’s Apprentice Abilities Predict Someone’s death down to the second By listen to the Heartbeat and blood flow can understand what ailments the person has Medium/ Can See and Speak to Spirits Medium Ability can be shared on a case by case basis Can Create and Destroy Demigods aka shinigami Can Control Fear and Sadness and use them as a defense mechanism With that can also walk about undetected for a limited amount of time Can project and control dreams and nightmares and take people to any point in time and any event in history, up until current day and time, through those dreams. Can also take people to anywhere she imagines as well. In short she is the dream-giver Limitations Can not force someone to die in anyway (more of a personal convection than a limitation) In case of a religious person can only take breath everything after that is in accordance with the ancient codes Can not interfere with free will again in accordance with the ancient codes Has to Eat Flesh in some way shape or form Must not choose a side in any war or conflict in both human or spirit forms Appearance: Anna is on the smaller side starting at just 4'7 and a hundred pounds at the start of her and 5'6 and a buck 50 when the she abruptly stops growing at 18 Anna's fashion on other hand is based heavily on the old worlds style that they called "emo" but she puts her own spin on it the jeans and leather pants are the same but she has spent some time rebuilding and old 3d printer and a sewing machine and made her one patches and small other ornaments. She's really hoping Jake would get an old embroidery machine so she can continue her craft. Motivation Approval from Her Father Friendship Raven’s Info
This is Ravens/Death: Name: First: Depends on the Location and Time She's interacting with Last: (Quad) est Negativos Alias: Raven Class: Immortal God Gender: Female Facing (Immortals Have No Gender) Age: Immortal (don’t age they Reincarnate; this form of her is app. 13,000 Years old) Chosen Appearance: 24-Year-old Height: 5’5 Weight: 135p Hair Color: Raven/Bluish Black Skin Tone: Pale Olive Top 3 Traits Caring Curious and Confident Top flaw Cocky Appearance Info: Raven’s appearance can vary drastically depending on the situation or mood she’s in. Though she can control her appearance on a molecular level she chooses to try to blend in with her absolute age while also not giving away her “Queen of the Damned'' persona. The one she chose to stick with the longest was a 24-year-old female, only changing from that when she travels to a specific time state so that she can blend in more appropriately She Then further took from a specific era in her lifetime her childhood (which was 2000-2100 in the human realm). The main look of our dearly beloved queen consists of A 5 foot 4, 135 kg 24-year-old girl that has a tendency to choose leather-based armor and when she’s not fighting she actually has plenty of leather pants as a mainstay though all of her clothes are hand sown as they all have special properties to keep her safe and her demonic powers undetected by most. Between that a Few Tattoos and Some Piercings in her nose and ears, she can perfectly blend in with the time she admires the most.
The thing about this is that there one charter to the viewer but they share thoughts so when reading my main thing is after they meet writing wise its as if Raven's thoughts can be heard. yes she's my main Protagonist (If you could say this story has one) With the concept of death it self being the antagonist in all three of these books
Is there something triggering (or signalling) his transition into the other character? Which personality of this character is introduced first? Does he change onscreen or offscreen? Are the personalities aware of each others and is there an antagonist or co-ordination between them?
@virgil_is_king Ok, thank you. That's a lot of information. I can't help though thinking what your uncle @evild4ve would say. None of that is really character information. Don't get me wrong, it's pretty cool stuff, and I don't mean to dump on your ideas at all. I like them. But most of it reads like game info and appearance. But I definitely have a better fix on her now than I did before. And yes, I see there's definitely a sort of Jekyll/Hyde thing going on, or sort of a Gollum Argues With Evil Gollum thing, with her two personalities clashing. That's interesting and sets up some nice possibilities. A question—is it set in the contemporary world? I mean, I know, she can spirit people away to any period, like the Spirits of Christmas could in A Christmas Carol, but it sounds like it's set in the here-and-now, since from her vantage point Emos are of the past. Do you have any other characters, or an idea for a character arc for her? Any idea for a basic story premise? I'll digest what you've already provided. EDIT—actually she seems like a flat-arc character. And probably not a main protagonist. She's reminding me quite a bit of Death from Gaiman's Sandman.
With all due respect, you don't have a split personality -- you have two characters. One is 18 years old, mortal, 5'-6" and 150 pounds. Oh -- and apparently she's dead. The other is immortal, has taken on the appearance of a 24-year old female, is 5'-5" tall and weighs 135 pounds. Unless you have specifically created unusual rules for your world, immortals don't die and reincarnate -- "immortal" means they don't die. Humans die and reincarnate.
@SapereAude I do the thing that I was trying to say was that on the earth it looks like shes talking to herself after the transformation thats why I said SP so like how Halo handled Cortona I was fishing for ideas on how to make a 3 charter witch there are understand that theres a third being in the room at all times
@Xoic Yeah its started its life as a DND style Charter Sheet But to answer your other questions Yes I have other charters think Slice of Life if your into anime tropes. Thought Im wondering if your calling her flat what can I do to spruce it up
A flat character arc doesn't mean it's boring, it just means she doesn't really have a character arc, either positive or negative. Here's what I'm talking about: How to Write a Flat Character Arc @ K M Weiland Blog It's for characters who don't change through the course of the story, which is common for cetain kinds of characters like a Sherlock Holmes or the hero of an ongoing series. Sometimes theyhave an arc, sometimes they don't. Since your character seems to have an ongoing thing going on with her alter ego, and she's dead and apparently immortal (not sure I I don't understand that one yet), it's hard to see her learning or growing as she goes, though I might be wrong.
@Xoic She's Alive because of Raven so technically her body stops growing (and in some ways starts decaying) so she permanently looks like she's 18
As Xoic has noted, how to start your story is going to depend strongly on your character (their personality, desires, goals, morals, and character arc, not so much their powers and appearance) and your story premise and plot. In my current novel, my protagonist also shares a body with another entity, and I introduce this split in the first scene. I guarantee what I did will not work for your character and your set up. Even slice of life anime have a set up premise and development. I recently watched one where the premise is basically 'Girl is reincarnated into a new world as an immortal. Wants to live a quiet lazy life forever. Accidentally becomes super powerful with a reputation for being strong. A parade of weirdo's show up to meet her because of her reputation. She has to deal with and possibly befriend these people so she can go back to enjoying her peaceful lazy life. ' It's a simple premise, but you can imagine the sorts of scenes and problems she might encounter. So, brainstorm your premise, what sort of things can you see happening in your story? Once you know that, you'll be able to figure out where to start your story.
I'm not sure I've followed the discussion as well as I ought, so will take it back to this question in the OP. And I hope this will be an avuncular enough response to do @Xoic 's kind posts justice. Since a prologue is mentioned I'm assuming this is for help on a YA novel, not a comic book or a video game where the artwork and animation can (and nearly always does) cover for weak writing. It's absolutely okay to use comic books or video games as the inspiration for a novel. It probably won't work - because novels are a much older art form whose long length, lack of interactivity, lack of visuals, and horribly terribly massive saturation exceeding even that of video games... pretty much requires them to be inspired by other novels (and the right ones) plus research. Lots of good games draw on novels, but relatively little moves the other way. Annabelle Morana outwardly resembles Ysabell from the Discworld books, who also goes around with a talking Raven. But I doubt it's possible to tell if the characters would seem too similar (or cliched) to readers - just based on the peripheral details in the thread so far. I'd suggest there is only a character at all when they make a choice that is inconvenient to the writer, or their voice is made unique by their word-choice or concerns. Until Annabelle Morana makes a choice she isn't more interesting for being an immortal god - if anything, being an immortal god tends to reduce tension and railroad other characters around her into simpler courses of action. "Guys! How about we solve all our problems by slipping a colorless, odorless, and deadly poison from Australia into her drink?" "No darn it, she's an immortal god." The choice to remain in the body of a 24-year-old is author-convenient. If I was an immortal death god I would bloody well remain in the body of a 5 year old. I liked being 5. I could pick my nose in public, I could screech in a really high voice if I needed to get my way, and I could fall asleep whenever and wherever I wanted. Why be 24? That's just a mistake. Admittedly, I'm assuming I could have an endless supply of robed acolytes to fetch me chocolate buttons during my 13,000-year-long toddlerhood. Caring Curious, Confident and Cocky - if a character is defined by just a selection of adjectives they'll be more likely to turn out as a stock character. I'd suggest to look at real people in the world - that's where the bar is for a novel. I'm in two minds whether having 4 adjectives is a starting point - or whether it artificially limits the execution. Video games get away with stock characters as main characters because the gamer self-inserts and makes their own story. That type of characterization doesn't hold up for the long, cold expanses of time for which a commuter reads a novel on a train, whilst otherwise being unable to physically move. Motivation - Approval from Her Father It's good that motivation is being considered. The only issues I see with this motive are that:- everyone wants approval from their parents so this might need to delve deeper to reach a point where a motive is unique to the character ; and that it's become such a go-to motive in kids' cartoons. (e.g. Sing 2) == I'd always suggest to only add in abilities like "Can Control Fear and Sadness and use them as a defence mechanism" when the plot needs a plot device. It might look like it's adding interest value - but in practice something like this is increasing the work involved in doing every line of this character's dialogue. Because it then has to be asked every time anyone speaks whether she would use her control fear ability. If it isn't a novel, these things won't matter as much - but at the same time they won't hurt. We can never over-characterize. The Split Personality The personalities aren't here in the thread enough yet for me to have formed any particular worries about how this would work. Could a god and a demigod be written as a split personality? Absolutely they could. So could Garfield and Odie ; or a fifty-something English doctor and a smaller, younger, serial killer ; or an automobile recall specialist and a soap salesman ; or a twelve-year-old boy and an alien consciousness in search of new planets to colonise... It might be possible to just stick the invisible personality into italics. The OP could use an early scene to establish the format and which voice is which for the reader and then whenever some italic text appears on the end of Anna's lines they'll know it's Raven. That might get harder if Raven and Anna also think their own thoughts private from each other - but as others have said it's about execution.
I'll have to take your word for it, because I have no idea what you just said there. Keep in mind that I'm an olde pharte, and perhaps not the only senior citizen on this forum. When you ask a question about split personalities, and then offer a scant few details that do NOT fit with any normal, clinical concept of a split personality -- expect comments that address split personalities. However, from your response to my previous post, I still see two characters, not a split personality.
