So I just had a CP read one of the chapters of my WIP...and was accused of writing erotica. Now I don't take issue with erotica as a genre, but it is not what I write, and the sex scene in this chapter is so far the only one I have written in. The person who told me this, I have known for a while and he has no issues with crass sexual innuendo or "dirty" jokes, and I wouldn't consider him a prude...but in 11 chapters containing gritty violence, slavery, and other unsavory things I have lifted from history...approximately 27K words written and a one-paragraph sex scene is what jumped out at him. I will admit that it is explicit in that it details what they did...but I have read many stories with much steamier scenes. And in this particular case, I included it because one of the partners had some previous trauma and this was their first time being intimate after. The actions of the other partner put them at ease and made the experience enjoyable. I do not just throw gratuitous scenes in for no reason, and when I include them usually I have some intention behind it. I don't know if my CP read it and was embarrassed he got a hard-on or something? To me, sex is just part of life and I really don't get why people get so squirrely about it. But where is the line between fiction containing erotic scenes and erotic fiction? Or is it in the eye of the reader?
I think the problem could be a level of consistency in your story that is potentially thrown off a bit by this steamy encounter. Maybe your reader didn't see it coming, maybe it doesn't fit with the rest of the story at this point. I would reflect a little about what this scene is doing for your overall story. Does it stand out too much? It could be very well written and still be jarring. Not saying that's you r problem, but it's something to think about.
I am by no means an experienced writer (in fact I have yet to complete a single writing project) however, I would suggest that if the sex scene contributes to the overall story (and not just a 'throw-in') then by all means include it in the work. Other than that, I cannot offer further opinion.
Erotica proper is designed to arouse. The plot, characters, and theme may still have their own merits, but they’re calibrated to further the goal of being arousing. And if that’s not your goal—which it doesn’t seem to be, since you mention character development—then your story isn’t erotica.
It is their wedding night so I didn't--and still don't--think it was too jarring. They have their ceremony, liberally borrowed from Roman customs but modified for my own use, the guests see them off to the marriage house, and once in the room, she snuffs out the lamp so the room goes dark and the guest all laugh and cheer...cause they know what comes next...and then I write what comes next. It wasn't like surprise...SEX!! It was totally a character development moment from my side--it was a healing experience for her and a bonding moment for them both. I could see, I guess, how you could get turned on by reading it...but it wasn't written with that purpose in mind. We exchanged chapters last night and it just threw me for a loop this morning when he messaged me and asked "When did you switch from writing fantasy to writing erotica?" Maybe I should have warned him that sexual content was incoming but I thought a rational adult could manage some R-rated material.
Bottom line: now you know for at least one person, the scene was incongruous enough to mention. Instead of critiquing the critique and questioning the reader's sexual hang-ups and rationality, consider the feedback objectively, accept or reject it, and move on.
If you wrote it and were not intending erotica, I don’t really think you crossed the line. There’s a huge market for that sort of stuff anyway, both in adult fiction and in YA. I doubt it’s not found in non-fiction either.. and it’s aimed at dreamers who don’t get enough of that sort of thing in real life eg. bored married women and younger girls who’re still waiting to find “the one.”
Is that all your CP said? On its own, it doesn't seem particularly damning, you think? In fact, it's maybe something any exchange partner might say with an explicit sex scene that is not your usual offering, a diversion from the norm that of itself makes it noteworthy? Maybe poking a little fun and not intending to sit you down the way it has? Maybe there's more to the response you've not posted that eliminates these possibilities.? Do you normally value input from this CP? I think I'd be inclined to ask for clarity and more specific feedback, it may not be the issue you imagine in the mind of CP. The answer to the question you pose on this thread is "when the story demands". You've justified its inclusion. Most adult readers will forgive the intrusion. Some might even enjoy it.
Without having read any of it, I would venture to say "the line" is a question of how explicit the sex scene is ... and whether the degree of explicitness is really necessary for the overall story.
Thanks all...I guess I probably lost a CP...the app we use shows if messages were seen and he just isn't answering me anymore even though he read them...didn't see this coming and it kinda threw me for a loop since I have known him for quite some time. I'm out of guesses as to what it was that bothered him and as he isn't answering I probably will never know. c'est la vie. I think the scene makes sense the way I wrote it for my female character's arc, and I'm keeping it that way.
Perhaps the style of the chapter did not jibe with the rest of the story completely, and that's what pulled your CP out of the story.
If anyone is interested in reading the offending chapter: https://www.writingforums.org/threads/into-the-north-chapter-11-1916-words.172403/
I have a handful of sex scenes in my series, and on the earlier revisions, I experienced the same problem UNTIL someone suggested matching the sensory level, duration, and word choice of the sex scenes, to any other sense-based scenes. For example when describing physical violence, how many words and sentences do I use to describe each injury? What senses do I invoke and with what frequency? What reading level and style of words do I use? I then take those levels and apply them to the sex scenes. If you're using stronger language and longer durations to describe the sex scenes than you would use for gore or violence, they might stand out, and some people will think it's erotic. If you're using weaker words and shorter durations to describe the sex scenes, they might seem superfluous, or even unnecessary. Don't know if that helps. Just offering it because it helped me.
