First off, I want to preface this thread by saying that I have thought about how my story would play out whether or not this character is straight. And all it really would change is whether or not he develops a romantic relationship with the main character, who is gay. Now on to the details: The main character is a soldier in a war, and he has a deep-seated hatred for the people he's fighting due to an extremist faction being responsible for the death of his boyfriend along with many innocent civilians. But he's an ass to almost everyone in the years since, and he eventually gets himself abandoned by his men during an ambush, left for dead. In time, he is captured by his enemies, nursed to health. A big portion of this story is the MC letting go of his hate, becoming a better person, and he will develop healthy relationships with these people before being released. One of these characters he meets is a man that he becomes attracted to, after giving up on ever falling in love again after losing his longtime boyfriend. BUT...the question is whether this character should also be gay, or at least bisexual. If I go that route, and they do develop a romantic relationship, the MC would be reassured that love isn't entirely lost to him. But if the object of his affection is straight, then it becomes very awkward when the MC's interest is made known, and they spend the rest of the story as platonic friends (I have determined that the people the MC sees as the enemy are more tolerant than his society is). But of course, I worry that making this character develop feelings for the MC would feel like a contrivance, as in real life the % of LGBTQ+ people in the world are small, and you're far more likely to encounter cis-het folks in daily life. And it may feel convenient since the MC is a gay man. But if I had to make a choice, and forget about whether something comes off as contrived or convenient or whatever, I am content with either option, but would find the first option (the other character sharing the MC's feelings) as more satisfying to write after having a pretty bleak story overall, and it's important to note that the MC and the other character wouldn't be able to enjoy anything permanent due to the MC eventually needing to return to his own comrades, his own country, as there is still a war going on. I also know that the story of two people from opposite sides of a war falling in love is tropey at this point...but I'm a sucker for tropes and try to make them my own if I can.
I'd say no and also advise you don't get too caught up in the real life aspect of your stories. I've done that myself and all it really leads to making your story harder to write. As well as that, even though the percentage of LGBTQ+ people is small the actual number is not at all small. Remember that it's a percentage out of roughly 7 billion people. I think if you want to write a queer soldier romance then go for it. Nobody is going to be looking at this other soldier and going the likely hood of this meeting is so and so percent how unrealistic this is shit. They'll be rooting for the protagonist to find love again and if he just so happens to find it on the other side of a war then do be it.
Thanks for the reply. I know I overthink things, even though I have no intention on ever being published, and always worry about the worst case scenarios, such as a reader finding something too unrealistic or convenient. Sometimes I even post questions on this website even though my heart knows the answer. I can't be the only one who feels that way, surely.
I used to do this, I would suck the life out of my stories for the sake of 'realism'. Then I realized...I loved the books that did the things I was afraid of getting wrong. I recently read Gideon the Ninth (great book, highly recommended). It takes its aesthetic seriously. Cathedrals constructed entirely of bones. Skeleton servants. Death cults worshiping the locked tomb of a monster that can kill god. The deuteragonist is puppeting her parent's bodies around pretending they're still the ones in charge. Only two young people are left on an entire dying planed and both of them just happen to be lesbians. One is one of the best necromancers in the galaxy, and the other is a kickass swordfighter. Swordfighting. In a setting with advanced space travel. And it works. Not once, not once did I ever think, gee, the crown of infant phalanges is a step too far. Now, the author clearly put a lot of work into the worldbuilding to create internal consistency and make it feel fleshed out and cohesive, not just a bunch of cool stuff mashed up together. Characters react in realistic ways to their surroundings and upbringings, actions have believable consequences. They don't coincidence their way out of trouble. There are some kinds of realism you have to pay attention to...but only some kinds. If all my favorite books did it, why was I toneing it down? I went in and, explicitly, intentionally ramped things up, added more, and stranger. And it works, and it made my stories stronger and more interesting. So, maybe try that. read a few of your favorite books and find the things that definitely aren't realistic but you love and make the book better. Then give yourself permission to do that.
I don't know how many times I have willfully overlooked something 'stupid' in a book simply because the story, or characters, or original ideas that made me think were also in it. Write the best book you can and let us decide its worth. Most of us will be kind but firm. A few of us will not, but that's life.
I personally think that feeling attracted to "the enemy" would actually make it easier to get the MC from deep-seated hatred to tolerance. Having another gay man around who returns those feelings might soften him up and make his change more human and believable. "They are not that from different from myself." is very noble, but "Holy ***, that boy is severely cute!" is relatable. XD And if said boy even is particularly nice to the MC, it'll be even easier to find common ground.
Hah! Yeah, that is true, humans will be humans. So far the character has been merciful, at worst neutral to the MC, and it really was because of him that the MC isn't dead - he convinced his uncle, the leader of their resistance group, to take the MC in, heal his wounds, and make him be of use. The whole attraction aspect will take time to develop, as tensions between the two warm up and they learn to trust each other.
The character being gay is perfectly doable, I would be more worried about whether it is possible to redeem a character capable of war crimes against civilians.
Depending on how you frame the start of their relationship it can make perfect sense that the secondary character is gay. If the secondary character's main motivation for helping nurse the main character back to health, and potentially providing him with extra attention/food/etc. could be because of his initial attraction. IE, their relationship buds because the secondary character is gay and is attracted to the main character, not in spite of it.
In this case, neither of these characters are guilty of that. The faction killing civilians is later revealed to be a splinter group of terrorists, so the MC learns that perhaps his anger and revenge has been misdirected. One of the main themes of the story is overcoming biases, propaganda, racism, etc.
I'd say yes. Otherwise things would get, just as you suggest, awkward and too difficult to write. Maybe so, but stories are supposed to contain something unusual. If something happened entirely in the usual and expectable and statistically average way, what would be the point of writing about it?
No worries, I tried to make my post as succinct as possible, didn't want to go spelling out the plot/setting/etc with a full essay, so if I didn't explain things well enough, that would be why.
Yes, that was actually what I wanted to express with my comment, but I somehow wasn't able to put it into words as well as you did.
Just on the topic of the relationship, it's important to note that it will be a slow-burning attraction, and the MC does at one point make an attempt on the other character's life. But he doesn't kill him, and at this stage of the story it's implied that both men recognize that the MC, during that fight, had perhaps intentionally kept himself from dealing a killing blow. It also was a form of self defense after the MC tried to escape, so it's not as if it's an action that completely destroys any chance of growing feelings later on.
I’m queer and you would be surprised how often I run into other queer people. We are everywhere. I wouldn’t find it unlikely that a gay person meets another gay/bi person on the battlefield. I will say: A lot of the time, the reason I’m interested in becoming friends with another gay/bi person is *because* they are also gay/bi, and thus have had similar life experiences to me and are easier for me to relate to. It’s something to bond over. I tend to become friends with people who are friendly to me and don’t act weird about my sexual orientation or gender identity, and those are frequently other queer people. So that might be another angle to come at it from. Maybe their friendship develops because they’re both gay/bi and (as a result) they relate to each other and feel comfortable around each other. It’d be interesting if your MC found out his friend was gay/bi and they didn’t immediately sleep together or get into a relationship, and instead they continue being friends for a while before they realize they’re attracted to each other specifically. I do think it’s kind of unrealistic when gay characters meet, one pines for the other, but thinks their love interest is straight, and then they find out their love interest is gay/bi and the problem is eliminated and they get together. IRL, even if I found out someone I had a crush on was gay/bi, I would still be super nervous about making any kind of move on them, because there’s no reason to think they’re into me specifically. So my suggestion would be, to keep things realistic: MC finds out his friend is gay/bi, but isn’t sure his friend is interested in him specifically, and is afraid of ruining their friendship if he makes a move. (Then, of course, his friend is interested in him, and they get together.)
Those are all good points, and thanks for giving your particular insight. So far in my story it's shown that the MC is definitely feeling something because he's almost uncomfortable/awkward in the other guy's presence, as if he knows he's attracted to him but is trying to suppress it due to a.) the other man being on the other side of the war and b.) always having to hide who he really is due to the homophobia in his own society (plus the whole issue he has with not thinking he will ever find love again...or at least not wanting to fall in love in case he loses someone again). The story is in 3rd person but written exclusively from the MC's PoV, so I'm not getting into the minds of the other characters. But so far the other character is definitely going out of his way to talk with the MC, and not because the MC is a prisoner of war.
Always good to test ones thoughts even if convinced. I tend to hide sexuality, in the background. I have a stunning Android produced by an Alien AI that couples with a female human to comfort her after a period of torture. Like you I am not publishing as its a hobby in retirement. Would love to put excerpts on a forum though to test ideas.
What if the MC develops a friendship with Enemy Man. MC falls in love. MC and EM are both gay. EM is not attracted to MC? Or- MC developed a friendship with EM and he falls in love. EM is straight. It would all depend on how you want to deal with them as characters.
Each one of those possibilities has passed through my mind, and they all are good for different reasons. I'm always so indecisive! But I am a "pantser" writer at heart so the ultimate decision may end up presenting itself to me without me planning on it.
When I come across something I can't decide, I ask my friends for a number. Odds is one choice, Evens the other.
The thing about this sub plot in the story is that, no matter what happens between the MC and EM, they will have to part ways by the end. The MC will be allowed to go free, and he indeed will agree to that decision at the end of the story. He may have grown close to these people he once saw as his enemy, but his home is back in his own country, where he hopes to continue his process of healing. But depending on how his feelings for - or aren't - reciprocated by the EM, that will determine just how bittersweet the farewell will be. Will he be saying goodbye to the first man he's been allowed to love again since his last partner was killed? Or will it be a respectful farewell on equal terms, completely platonic? No matter what, it will be bittersweet. Even if the EM doesn't feel the same way for the MC as he does, he still grows to respect him over the course of the story, with both saving each other's lives and ending up comfortable enough opening up to each other about things. Maybe it's entirely trivial, but it just boils down to: Friends or lovers? Even if the EM shoots down the MC's advances, the relationship between them won't sour. The MC will have become a much better person going through his time with "the enemy", more mature and able to process the horrible things that had happened to him in his life. Sorry if that's a big ol ramble about nothing! The more I think about it, the more I almost do want to have the two reciprocate their feelings, because even though that's more of a happy turn of events for the MC, it still doesn't change the fact that they can't stay together forever. I dunno, maybe I'm just answering my own question and am just deliberately not choosing to commit to a decision yet. Does that make any sense?
