I am currently writing a novel on a mercenary who on a mission loses his wife son and memory in India. he meets a monk who teaches him to embrace his trauma and unlock his potential allowing him to become the weapon he must be to defeat the men who took his family from him. the initial chapter is a description of how he slowly regains his memories and how crows appear weekly and the superstitious value behind this. I had a professor proof read this chapter and she pointed out that there are no stakes introduced to keep the reader hooked within this chapter. I'm not entirely sure how to introduce stakes without either making it cliche or introducing the main conflict (the search for vengeance) too early in the story. I would deeply appreciate some help. Thank you in advance.
PTSD. He keeps having flashbacks and sees images which he doesn't understand. He knows something really bad went down, but he doesn't know what, and he wants to. It gives you a chance to introduce some drama into the recovery process.
I'm not sure why you think you shouldn't introduce the main conflict too early in the story. These are the stakes your prof is talking about. It doesn't have to be the actual search - but the resolution that forms in his mind. The usual advice is to introduce the conflict in the story soon after you introduce the main character.
The story about a monk who teaches someone to unlock his full potential and become a weapon to defeat baddies seems a bit similar to the story in the movie The Shadow. In The Shadow, the Tibetan holy man known as the Tulku makes a drug dealing warlord repent and become good while teaching him mystical powers. But I think it's okay since your plot differs a lot.
