The not happy thread

I think that's tied in with a situation in real life that is upsetting you now, one that you described yesterday? Or the day before? And you think that nobody else realises that you are rushing around doing everything and getting moaned at. Just my opinion, from the outside.
<<<<<<<<<<<hugs>>>>>>>>>>>

 

*Raises hand* I'm also a nightmare sufferer. Not nice, especially ones about death Sorry about that Carmina. Atleast when you woke up, you knew it was all just a horrible dream.

 

yup, a nightmare like that would probably turn me into a bedwetter.

hope you shake those memories off Carmina

 

I can piece together why I had it. I am under a lot of stress right now, wearing lots of hats and wearing myself thin. At work, I have been doing a lot of funerals (I work at a church) so funerals are kinda present in my mind these days. Last night I had dinner with my uncle. Last night I also received my dead grandmother's wedding band so death of family member fresh on the mind. So, not surprised...just unsettled.

 

I rarely have nightmares, but I dream vivid dreams that I often remember when I wake up. They are epics too, so sometimes I wake up as tired as I was when I went to bed in the first place!
They usually follow a - err - romantic theme :redface:

 

I wish my dreams followed a romantic theme. I'm a very vivid dreamer, too, but mine usually feature storylines where my fiance crashes his helicopter and has gone missing/died, where I walk out of work and there are bloodstains all over the parking lot and messages written in blood on my car...that sort of thing. And I always think it's real until my fiance wakes me up. Ugh.

He wants me to see a sleep therapist. But I don't want to.

 

too many rush us off to therapists, sometimes dreams are just dreams, i think writers have more intense ones because of have greater imaginations. i dream but nothing bad as that, had enough of that in real life thank you

 

I agree, and that's why I don't want to go. It seems like every time I have a problem (with anything, not just nightmares), someone I know suggests seeing a therapist. What happened to working stuff out on your own?

 

^ Sometimes therapists are just a way for weak people to justify themselves.

The rest of us, who learn to work our own problems out, get stronger - they just wallow in the shallows believing they were dealt bad cards in life.

I think alot of the time, therapists just make people weaker by cushioning them and acting as a 'solution' - which of course they arent.

I think if anybody ends up constantly going to a therapist for every little thing has just fallen into an even more serious problem.

 

Of course, for some people, therapy is exactly what they need. People dealing with real traumas or psychological/emotional disorders can benefit from therapy. It should be an aid...a tool...but the actually work has to come from the patient.

 

i went to therapy when i was a child, i'm unsure if it helped me, hard to say what does when you're young. writing helped as i got older, it depends on the therapist, normally they just let you talk, can be about anything, as was mentioned, its up to you to find a way around the darkness

 

Well, you can take a horse to water...

It's 'a' way of coping, but it depends on the person as well as the therapist I think.

 

Any person who listens and helps you rant is as good as a therapist...I dunno, it's just me or what? but going to the shrink helped me in no way at all! I was better after I met my bff.

 

My therapist was not there for me to "rant"... my therapist and I worked together with behavior modification therapy, learning relaxation techniques, guiding me to face my anxiety and learn to cope, ways to try to break away from my compulsive behavior and get through the anxiety caused by resisting the behavior. This plus medication has allowed me function again.

I am actually bothered when people say that therapy is for the weak or just there for people to complain about their petty problems or just a waste of time. For some people it literally saves lives...for others...it gives you back your life. I don't know if I would be alive and I know I wouldn't be functional if it hadn't been for therapy.

As for the idea that anyone who lets you rant is as good as a therapist...not necessarily true. If you have an actual mental health issue, a lay person can do more harm than good.

There are bad therapists. There are wrong therapists for a given patient. There are patients with unrealistic expectations. There are patients unwilling to do the work. But, please, don't throw therapy onto the "Quak" heap.

 

Sorry for that uh, Carmina...I think think I should have kept my mouth zipped.

I tend to babble. I met one of those "bad therapists" when I went through a real bad time and that has me biased. Sorry.

 

It is ok. I just worry that negative attitudes toward therapy keep people who need help form getting it.

 

yup. agreed. I remember the looks i got, that was enough to hold me from talking about anything to anyone. Time heals they tell me, but it doesn't, it just burns a hole sometimes

 

oh on another note, a roving dog knocked over my garbage and scattered it about the lawn, its windy out so the neighbours have a free show to what i've been eating. bad enough when i hang out clothes that any weight gained or lost is noticed. aint no privacy anymore i tell you

 

A good therapist is like a good guide in the wilderness. You know where you want to go, and that remains your decision, but the guide steers you away from hazards and helps you pick the best path across rough terrain.

A good therapist listens to what you express (speech AND body language), and helps you explore some of what lies unspoken between the words.

Therapists don't heal you. They help you heal yourself. You still must do most of the hard work.

 

lol, people people started running away when they saw me, I became a whiner, and I used to break staplers to get that anger out, because my lousy therapist told me that I need to "show my anger however I can, even if it's destructive". I should have sued her.

 

I have never been to a therapist but I think I'd be hard work. The silences would be long as I don't much like talking about problems. It makes me nervous.

 

my team just got beat 3-1 worst of the month

 

I've called the VCA Animal Hospital 3 times asking for an appointment to bring my cat in for a surgery on what they tell me is a "something like a luxating patellar," but everytime, some girl (sometimes an Olga, sometimes a Shirley) tells me they'll call back with the appointment date and estimates (I believe it was $1905 the last time I checked) but no one ever does.

 

On Therapy. . .

Spoiler

I want to therapy for quite some time a while back during a period I do not remember fondly. To say the least she kept me alive, gave me a shoulder to cry on and an open ear to speak to when I was told to speak only when spoken to and then never addressed.

I dont think therapy is ever a way for weak people to justify themselves... It's certainly an ordeal in and of itself. For those who've never understood what it's like to hit rock bottom (relatively) and then find themselves slammed against that concrete, it's certainly nice to see an extended hand when no one else wants to even touch you.

When I told a friend at the time that I was seeing a therapist, she asked me why; do I not trust her with sensitive issues? That's not the case at all, and whoever assumes that is either a very lucky and / or a very self-centralized person.

That was three years ago, and given that I'm rising out of a truly challenging physical and mental sickness at present, I recognize that I often may still be somewhat negative, but at least I'm seeing the sun.

In retrospect, however, I do not suggest one simply never return to therapy and never refill your prescription before it is suggested... I feel that I turned out alright, but I probably could be a much better person currently if I hadnt made that stupid mistake.

But to keep this back on topic, I am upset today because even though I am given every opportunity to excell, I am somehow still failing. Such as weight, which is really what's been getting me down; whenever I get to the weight I am at presently, even when I exercise more and eat less, I still gain at least three pounds back and stay there for at least a few days. I need to keep up hope that if I perservere, I'll be okay, but it's very hard when all you can ever think about yourself is that, at least in this aspect, I simply CANT. Though I sometimes am told of the contrary, it's how I feel: I am so tired of being ugly.

 

I like being alone. I don't like it when my own family is around me, I'm writing and listening to music. The tv is on mute, yet you still stay.

I'm trying to tolerate the presence of other people, I'm not anti-social. I don't have a social disorder. I just can't stand being around people at home sometimes. Maybe its because Misophonia + presence of people that make such noises = expecting the worse. Its getting worse, I think all my tolerance for people is drained after school.

Hmm, choices. Retreat into computer room or endure humans but have a comfy couch and the big tv.(which I don't watch when writing unless Beck or O'reilly is on.)

Wow, lookit that. Off to the mental institution I go.