Yeah it definitely blows, but I'm glad someone (at least kind of) understands where I'm coming from. Moorhead, MN is kind of a crime spot for the North, so it gets a little weird. I'll try to follow your advice, but as you said, it's a tricky situation.
It really is...is she making friends with these guys and then they're meeting you, or are you guys making friends together? Maybe you should make couple friends or something... That sounds weird...I don't know if it makes sense.
I et what your saying, it's just that to save money up here, I don't have a car. So a lot of the times she is meeting these people and hanging out and I can't just pop on over or anything. We're making a few friends together and whatnot, but not that many because I really lack in mobility a lot of the time.
Stink. It might help cut down on the issues with the guys if you both met them together, but yeah, not having transportation makes that difficult. I hope you guys get something figured out!
Ditto to what Hidden said. It's up to her to pick her friends, but as her boyfriend, you have the right to ask her to be more careful. Good luck.
How do I tell if a girl is a lesbian? This girl gave off gay vibes until I started talking to her, at which point she seemed quite straight. She's got really short hair, though, and I believe she's also vegan/vegetarian. ( yay stereotypes ) Maybe she's bi or something. I'd ask, but if she's not a lesbian, then asking may offend her.
If you approach it as though being a lesbian is something to be offended by, then she probably will. Just try and casually ask her. If she does flip about it, then you can say "well what's wrong with being gay? it was just a question". That way, she'll be forced to realise that reacting that way is stupid.
@M9A8E6S4TO, does she have long or short finger nails? Disregard if she's a chef or an artist. Though if she is an artist well... *coughs* But yeah, Ashleigh speaks sense.
Appearances and eating habits are really bad measuring sticks. For instance, I think the "pixie cut" is in style right now, and vegetarianism is common in some religions. Hobbies are also bad measuring sticks... one of my best friends wants to be a fashion executive and spends a lot of time looking at shoes. He's not gay... he just likes that stuff. He's also the biggest football fan you ever would meet. Are you interested in her? You could just ask her out and if she declines, perhaps you'd know why. If you're not, you could just pay attention to her... (something you should also do if you're interested in her, lol) And you could just ask her, but Ash and Lady are right. If you approach it like it's something to be offended by, she probably will get pissed.
To be honest, does it really matter if she is lesbian or bi? I like to look on the positive side of things. For example, if she is a lesbian, then maybe you two could develop a friendly relationship and have competitions about who can get the most female phone numbers. (Been there, Ashlee will always be one of my best friends...) My wife herself is bisexual. Turns out this sort of 'open marriage' is what I wanted without knowing it before we tied the knot. Makes for some good times. Point of my creepy story: Don't worry about small things like is she this or that...just start a relationship and see where it goes. Can't hurt anything right? But, I'm Sanguine, so what good does my advice on relationships do most people? I've never been hesitant to talk to someone or meet random people at random places... ...don't ever drink Absinthe in Venice (Absente in Venezia over there). Random = yes, fun = not after the Carabinieri (Military Police essentially) chase you on foot back to the train station for puking on the gondola driver... Cheers!
Not if she's bi. If she's lesbian, yeah. Also, yeah, the stereotypes I mentioned are bad measuring sticks.. but they're better than nothing. Haha. I think I'm just going to go up and ask her and act like it's no big deal. The only reason I could see it offending her is if she isn't lesbian and she doesn't want to give off a lesbian vibe.
I was just reading an article (by Steve Calechman, Men’s Health) about myths and thought this one would be good to share here: You Can Just Be Friends NO: Sure, you both think you're fine with the arrangement. But guess what? One person is always more interested, always holding out hope. Hanging out with her can fuel that hope and make her look for indications that you'll give in. Patience will evaporate. "You need to keep upping the ante if you stay in each other's presence. You say you won't, but you will," says Pat Love, Ed.D., author of The Truth About Love. The end result: one person becomes annoying, the other annoyed. It's a classic love story. --- From personal experience on both sides--wanting to just be friends and accepting that we can just be friends, I can say this is 100% true. It never turns out well. Best to walk away and try to move on.
Truth. This is my stance on post-breakup friendship, and none of my friends ever listen to me when I try to tell them this.
Ask her out Maestro. No girl gives out the "lesbian vibes". Lol, plus I'd like to know Lady, what did you mean by long nails, short nails? I can't keep long nail, bite them, so I have a mixture. Also from above agreed. "Trying to be friends" just drew me into a patch up and a bigger break-up, with hard feelings, where there were none before.
I disagree, a lot of the lesbian girls I know give out lesbian vibes. Myself included apparently. Those with 'gaydar' tend to be able to weed my friends and I out of a crowd as homosexuals. Anyway, the nails thing goes with the joke 'What do you call a lesbian with long finger nails? Single.' Obviously not every girl with short nails is a lesbian, and not every lesbian has short finger nails. Buuut, coupled with other identifiable traits - i.e love of cats, Tegan and Sara obsession, propensity to volunteer -short finger nails can be indicative of lesbianism. Needless to say not everyone fits with stereotypical identifiers but in my experience they're a fairly useful measure. I'm also in agreement with the 'trying to be friends' thing. It rarely works.
i completely agree, being "just friends" almost never works out. there's always the hint of the past that hangs about --------- on a completely different note, i just got an email that i don't know how to respond to. i met this guy on saturday, at a caroling party our two friends hosted. he was a really great guy and we had a great time hanging out at the mall (while our friends were distracted by "free hugs" hats, lol). yesterday, i got an email from him asking if i knew that we were apparently flirting (our two friends were gossiping after the party). i sent back a lighthearted sorry (in my defense, i really wasn't trying to flirt. i was kinda out of it since i've had so much on my mind lately), and got back a reply today that said he didn't care if i flirted with him and he wasn't hurting anything by flirting with me. now, i ask you, how do you reply to that?!
I always hated trying to reply to things like that. I would maybe just say something generic in response to that (like "well, I'm glad we've got that settled" or something), and then just change the subject and ask him if he's ready for Christmas or something.
Not true Neha Some girls do give out homo- and bi-sexual vibes. So do guys. Apparently I have gay vibes at times. It's not very straight for guys in my community to be interested in fashion! Not fair! I like Tegan and Sara! And on the friends after breakup topic, it can work, but usually doesn't. Maestro, look through a magazine with her and point out an attractive model and ask her what she thinks. Most teenage girls these days are, at the least, bi-curious, so she may respond by saying the model is attractive. Gauge her response.
Can you not find out on the grapevine whether she is a lesbian or not? I mean, don't ask the wrong type of people because you don't want to cause a rumour. But, isn't this the type of thing that people talk about. If her 'gaydar' vibes are so faint then she might be gay, but not ready to come out nonetheless. In which case, being asked out by another girl might be quite a shock for her.
Lady, A2thdre-I typed that thing in a hurry, shows, lol....I meant to write, 'No girl "I know"...' Also, Starfire-if you're interested, something like 'OH..??" would work.
