The not happy thread

Wow. I understand the whole right to free speech thing, but doesn't it get to a point where they're trespassing and get kicked out?

Our assistant store manager got promoted, so starting Monday, he'll be moving to a new store. This is not unhappy thread news-I'm completely stoked for him, he's worked really hard for this. The unhappy thread news is that I thought I would be moving up to ASM to replace him, and I found out yesterday that I'm not. So...thanks, store manager, for training me to be an ASM and telling me how great I would do and how I already do the job, and then passing me up when the opportunity for the promotion actually came.

*grumble*

 

that sucks. I've recently got computer (used) so haven't been on since joined. I'm in a real unhappy place right now and have opportunity to change things but it's so complicated. I work pt-minimum wage 33 years old stuck middle of nowhere town at my dads. Would have to quit without notice to work a full-time job (temp to temp-hire) and I'm really torn on what to do. I've been struggle with a lot in my life (though to many would seem minimal I can't seem to get back on feet and where I should be; it's still painful for me). I try to stay thankful but most days are tough. This one song that I've tried to get help me has lyrics that go "sometimes you got it all figured out and other days you're wandering around wonder what the he!! it's all about.. Lifes funny like that, sometimes you're the dog, sometimes you're the cat..." then another verse that goes "lifes funny like that, sometimes you're the train, sometimes you're the track..." to add to my not happy days is, my phone company had arrangement to take out past due $ and I've even been paying a little bit ahead of time, well they ended up taking all due (past & current). Would have been all fine and was made to believe that it would be refunded quickly, I then get a call from refund department saying they got to wait 10 days to refund it? Hello by then the time I need the $ is passed and I have to do without it and get more in the whole; as I'd be paying most off by then being more than a week which I get another paycheck not much (but it's so frustrating). I am going with pre-paid monthly plan asap and can afford a new inexpensive phone for that plan. May have to pay cancelation fee as still in contract but I'm tired of dealing with them. The only problem with that is then I probably have to have local # with new plan and I like the #I have

Well for at least the last 2-4 weeks I've really felt like the track.

 

I am crying as I write this. The teardrops are falling onto my keyboard, but I don't care. I just feel like I have to tell someone!
I fought with my mother. She came upstairs all angry, telling me I only thought about myself and that I should have seen that she was doing the laundry. But, being an artist, of course I was distracted and saw nothing.
But that isn't all. Today, I fought with just about every one of my friends.
I sometimes wonder why I have to be me. Why I do the things I do.

 

My girlfriend of 7 years just left me. I wasn't ready to be engaged and she has been for some time now. Feeling expectedly sad now.

 

Kyle, that's just horrible! I'm really sorry for you. *hugs*

 

I'm so sorry Kyle

 

That is balls man. I can't imagine how crappy you feel right now

 

Yeah it's sucking the hind-teat pretty hard. Its what is best for her and her timeline for life. Sadly our paths have segwayed. I will always love her; regardless of how she feels toward me.


On the upside, I still have this:

 

I'm back from my trip. It was fun, but not as fun as it should be been because I was sick the whole time. Being sick completely ruins the karaoke experience- or at least prevents full participation. I did get to spend a lot of time with friends, so it was still a very good time. Also, I woke up with an injured toe and a large bruise on my side. I have no idea how this happened.

 

I hope things are better today? Sorry, I wasn't here.

 

That sucks Kyle. Enjoy your gin.

 

Yes, I am doing better.
I have to, since some friends have come over and I have to act like the perfect teenager to make them feel bad about theirs.
And I am not hurting as much (in every sense of the term).

 

That's good. I guess.

 

I suppose so.
Although pushing away pain will only make it come back worse after.
Here I go, it's my turn to complain now.

 

It is your turn.

 

Aww, Kyle, I'm so sorry. That really stinks. And that, over there, sounds super lame...but I can't think of anything un-banworthy to say about it.

 

Fck. If that ever happened to me, I don't know how I'd survive. I'd probably want to throw myself over a cliffside, or spend a month in bed, intoxicated by various calmatives. I'm so sorry, hey man.

 

Oh god, I'm so sorry Kyle!!! That's horrible. Absolutely awful. I'm so sorry......

 

That's very rough, Kyle.

My sadness pales in comparison. I'm just sad that my second great day in a row is over and next week, while it'll be spring break, it's workday for the old folks.

 

I wonder when my mom will finally cut out yelling at me about my clothes... I mean, I'm practically an adult. If I want to dress like a guy, that's my business. She just refuses to understand that it makes me feel physically unwell and extremely uncomfortable to dress in "feminine" clothes. It's not a matter of what other people think about me; it's a matter of what makes me feel ok with myself. I wonder if she realizes how much it hurts to have her constantly attacking me in passive-aggressive fashion, calling me "Ponyboy" or telling me to pull up my pants 'cause I look like a man. I gotta move out. This just keeps getting me down all the time.

 

Jacklondon, I'm also someone who doesn't really dress like the girliest of girls. I've always been a trouser-girl, and dressing like a tramp with haf my arse on show never appealed to me either.
Just work with it, and keep true to yourself. Eventually your mum will come around, i'm sure. You can't be somebody you're not, and I think alot of people can relate to that.

 

I think I'm getting addicted to alcohol.

Basically, I always make it a rule that I have alcohol on Friday and Saturday nights, and when I have no school on the weekdays, I have them there too. And they're always at 5:00 PM. I also make it a rule that I do not leave the house whatsoever. That way, I'm not a danger to myself and others on the road.

All well and good, right? Well, lately I've found myself used to drinking one bottle without having effects and craving another, just for that momentary blissful feeling. Since alcoholism runs in my family, and I've seen how it ruined some of my relatives, I'm worried it's going to happen to me if I don't moderate myself. I need to learn to just enjoy the beer, not drink it to feel the effects. I don't want to get that second beer, I don't want to risk a hangover, yet I still feel that yearning, that voice in my head saying, "Just get another beer and down it. No one will notice."

I'm just scared I may be turning into an alcoholism. Sure I'm a funny drunk who talks and makes absurd comments, but I can do that without having to drink and potentially loose the respect I've earned in the future.

 

you might be a little too hard on yourself, even if alcoholism runs in the family just don't make too big of a habit about it and you should be okay

I heard the real bad alcoholics will have shakes as if going through withdrawals until they can get a drink, at that point it's a physical addiction and not just a psychological fondness for

and I'll still love you buddy

 

If alcoholism runs in the family, and you're worried about the cravings you're experiencing now, then why are you drinking at all?

Just give it up. Alcohol really isn't worth writing home about, you won't be missing out.

 

I may be acting too hard on myself, as usual. It's not a physical addiction, I'm just fond of beer and I only do it once a week. I should be okay.