...or it's one of my biggest problems. And I'm more into dramas and comedies, so I don't mean complicated action scenes, I mean more like body language and simple movements. I mean, let's say you have two people having a conversation that lasts about a chapter (or a short story, which is really what I'm into). They're really not doing too much, just standing around or sitting around. There's only so many ways you can write "he shrugged" or "he nodded", or "he rose", or "he shook his head", you know? And I'm never really sure of how much action to put in to make the thing work. You can't have just dialogue or introspection, you need that other stuff, but it's hard for me to come up with it and make it seem varied and interesting and real. It's like a chore to me. It's stuff that has to be in there for it to work, but it's also stuff that I hate having to come up with and makes me want to stop writing. Anyways, just a thing I have.
Watch people’s habits. Tell the reader where the character is looking, or if they blushed at something embarrassing, or got exited and stood up. There are a lot of things two people can do while talking for a chapter.
Read. Mystery novels tend to focus on such nuances, so I'd recommend seeing how good mystery writers handle action, particularly in dialogue scenes. You'll get more from that kind of study than you will from advice given here (no offense to anyone on the site).
Reading and paying special attention to how the authors handle such scenes is very good advice. You may want to consider giving certain characters specific traits during such actions. For example, in Stephen King's Dark Tower, Rolland has a habit of moving his fingers in a rolling motion as if to say, "Come on, come on, let's go" when he's getting impatient. There is a lot of potential body language that one can use in addition to "he shrugged" or "he nodded", or "he rose", or "he shook his head." Consider the other senses besides sight (his fingers tapped, a grating sound on the desk; she coughed, emitting the smell of vodka and stale cigarettes.) Avoid adverbs in favor of description ("he breathed deeply" is not as good as "his chest rose as he inhaled the fresh summer air.") The occasional adverb is okay, but fewer adverbs = more showing and less telling. I hope this helped. Charlie
Check out Abarat by Clive Barker. There are huge sections of dialog in that series. He basically uses action as another way of showing who's talking. Using bits of introspection is good too. I like when the character's thoughts contradict what they say. I hope he doesn't ask me to the movies again. I'll just say I'm busy. "Let's go watch that new flick." "Okay, sure," I said.
Decide wether all the he rose, she nodded, they genuflected is even needed. Are you manhandling the reader into seeing what you want them to see instead of letting the story impart these things? I think we all fall prey at some point or another to giving stage directions within a story when what we are really trying to add is detail.
Sometimes, it seems forced when I try to add action. I tend to write the dialogue first, because for me the dialogue has to have a certain "beat" to it to make it sound natural, so I try to pay primary attention to it. And then I add in the thoughts to flesh everything out more. And then I find it relatively easy to know what description I need. But the action seems to come last and often seems to get in the way of the flow of the dialogue and everything else.
Good point. One of the things I love is when the movement is implied in the dialog. This technique is used often in Stranger In a Strange Land. "Don't go in there. Hey, what are you doing? Dad told us to never even touch the doornob."
How to write battle scenes? You cannot do a blow-by-blow account the way you can do with one-on-one characters, in part because of the number of actors involved, but also because of the significant amount of time a battle may take. How do you write an engaging battle scene that doesn't bore the reader with lots of details?
First you need to work out what the key points of the battle are. The moment when the two armies’ first clash would be one, the death of an important character, on either side, might be another. Focus in on them. You can throw in a few sentences accounting for the time that has passed between each one. Most battle scenes are told from multiple points of view. This can be used to create suspense. For example character A is leading re-enforcements to help character B but is ambushed, the reinforcements are killed and character A is captured. We then switch to character B awaiting character A’s help, which we know is not forthcoming, while they struggle to hold of an overwhelming number of enemy forces. That said I do have stand up for single POV action scenes. If done well they can really capture the uncertainty of combat. For example you might write the entire battle from the point of view of a single foot soldier. He has no idea about what is happening outside his immediate vicinity, no idea if his friends are alive or dead and he certainly has no idea which side winning or loosing save what he can piece together from his confused surroundings. Hope that helps
It really depends on the POV you're using. First person, third person limited or omnicient. That aside, focus on what's important, turning points, things that will give a flavor of what is happening all over--tactics, charges, retreats, routes, counter attacks, ambushes etc. My novel Flank Hawk has quite a few combat/battle scenes (from one-on-one, small group engagment, company-sized, to a pitch large-scale battle). It is written from first person perspective, which can be limiting if the author isn't careful, but it also allows the reader to get a better sense of what is at stake. A character can observe from a distance, hear reports and orders, as well as engage in combat. Thus a battle can be relayed in a concise yet comprehensive manner. Hope that makes sense. If you're unsure, get some of your favorite authors and take a look at how they do it. I'd recomend The The Chronicles of Amber by Zelazny, the Vlad Taltos Series by Brust, The World War Series by Turtledove, and the Chronicles of Thomas Covenant by Donaldson. And of course my novel Hope this helps. I can be more specific in suggestions if the type of combat/battle and the scope is provided. Terry
Aside from what the others say, I think your text has some confusing imagery and metaphors, making things more complicated than they need be. Why not "my wildest dreams"? Is the MC experiencing the senses of someone else, who's more imaginative than himself? If not, then it makes no sense. I could be wrong, but "my outcome" just seems gramatically wrong and confuses me. Why not just "I never would have suspected this outcome/turn of events." Doesn't things brew under the nose? Brewing something under a pair of shoes makes for some really confusing imagery. Sorry if you think I'm nitpicking, but my first impression when reading was that these things confused the flow. I would really avoid flowery prose in cold, hard action scenes -- it's stylistic contradiction. You might find that it comes closer to what you're seeking if you keep your focus on the grit, blood and sweat. Don't be afraid of typical expressions like "cold steel" and "pumping veins" -- they're effective and to the point and describe exactly what things feel like.
Hey everyone, As a writer I dread writing action (namely fighting) sequences. I tend to be terribly stingy with words. I have a Hemingwayish style that goes: Desmond got punched in the face. He fell over. I wonder what people like most about action sequences. Any suggestions?
You might want to look for other threads on this topic. There have been many of them here under General Writing.
I think that fight scenes are one of the most entertaining and interesting things to right. You have to get into the mind of the character who's getting smacked about a bit. I don't mean to start writing in first person, but pick one of them and describe events from their own perspective; what would they pay attention to? How would they react? How would they move, and what would they do? Chances are that in the heat of a punch-up you're not going to pay attention to what your opponent is doing, just where his fists are going. And not everyone moves with grace and style - or gets an opportunity to come up with a smart remark whilst they're being punched in the face. If you get into the character's mind, then you'll easily get the basics down easily, and can then add extra detal if it's necessary (which it probably isn't).
Well I suppose it depends on the genre of the writing. I can see the thriftier and direct version working well in some, while let us a fantasy might require a bit more length and description.
I always think the most effective action scenes use fairly simple sentences to paint a clear picture of the action. When a writer tries to get too complex about the action it begins to muddy what is supposed to be happening.
An animator would act it out in order to figure out how to express it in drawings. If it were me, I would act it out. Maybe video tape myself doing so and then step by step find creative ways to describe each move which is then executed within the conflict you are trying to describe. I would probably describe a clinical, literal sense first draft of the sequence and then go back and start looking for ways to color the wordage's into a flavor which then fits the style of the story being written.
Keep pacing in mind. Action sequences are usually meant to be fast-paced, and detailed description can destroy that. Consider focusing on the confusion, the spinning emotions, and the desperation of a fight. Some blows may land without having been seen coming. A character in the fight may not even know who struck her. bullets may fly past without a character ever seeing a gun. Try painting the scene as an abstract with a few bold brush strokes instead of photographic detail.
I try going for a third person standpoint if the rest of the story is being written from that perspective (in varying degrees). Considering I've never been in a fight myself, writing certain reactions and such only comes from either logic or pulled from memory references of visual fights I've seen in the anime I watch. It also may help to refine your style. Action sequences, from what I've observed and tried myself, seem to work better if you write in such a way that the words move with the actions being described. It works best in third person. So, with your example sentence, a way to make the words flow with the actions could be: Desmond felt a strong force suddenly strike his chest. The strength from the unknown source caused the startled man to collapse bewilderdly onto the hard concrete below. Or something like that. Just experiment! Watch fights from visual sources like movies and such and take note of what's happening from your third person perspective and then try imagining how the same sequence you just watched might've felt like from one of the participants viewpoints. Or examine the fight from all angles and viewpoints. Whatever helps you get a better grasp on fighting and describing them. It may also be handy to get some books or dictionaries or whatever that describe fights and terms, cuz I know there are many different kinds of punches and kicks than just "punch" and "kick".
When writing a fighting scene, you first need to figure out what type of fight you want to portray. As there are many different kinds. Some are as follows: Fast Paced: These types of fights are as said, very fast paced. The two fighters barely have time to think about their attacks before following through with them, if at all. These fights are also chaotic and can barely be followed. In these types a fight, a simple blink can make you miss more than half of it. Slow Paced: These fights are much slower than the usual kinds. In these kind of fights both fighters usually only throw one punch at a time and barely move anywhere. Often times these fights are used for the purpose of a stamina contest, or to determine honor. Or in some cases, these fights often act as a final to a faster fight, when both fighters are too exhausted to fight anymore. There has been a case or two though when this type of fight is used as a meeting. An example is when the two fighters are trying to size one another up and see how much the other has. In cases like this, the slower fights is merely a way of conversing with their fist. Scruffs: Scruffs are often misportrayed. Many believe that scruffs are just wild fights with no sense at all. This isn't true. The true face of a scruff is two people basically wrestling around, no punches, kicks or any other attack is thrown. It's mostly push comes to shove. These are just three of the main types of fights, there are many more that have much more detail and expectations behind them. But these three are usually the type portrayed in movies and books. Another thing to remember, some believe that fighting is a form of dancing. If you want a good example of where this might apply watch some boxing, or even some martial arts. Instead of watching it with the mind set of fighting, pay attention to the way a person's body moves and such. Also, one of the ways I learned to describe a fight was by taking a movie with fighting, or even a show, and playing it in slow motion. By doing so you can see the moves a lot better and soon learn how the opponent could respond to these moves.
Hi everybody!! I am fairly sure there's been a similar thread to this before, but since I didn't want to thread necromancy, I though it'd be better to start one off again (if not, then do please move it ) I'm faced with a bit of a dilemma at present. I've recently been delving into writing battle scenes, but most of my attempts come off seeming extremely amateurish. It stagnates from the start, when I become stuck on how to continue and develop the idea. I'm just wondering whether you guys have any advice on how to develop this sort of text. Any help will be much appreciated!! CheeseLord
Before the summer I found myself reading Count Belisarius by Robert Graves, which had a LOT of battle scenes, of all different types (being basically the story of the military campaigns of the main character), and I picked up a lot from there... Maybe it'd be better if I just told you to go read that rather than explain, since, though I'd read a fair few battle scenes, most of my advice would come from what I learned in that book. I am not a military historian, by a long, long shot. Normally I get quite bored and just skim-read the battles so I know what's happening once it gets back to the good stuff. But I read that book cover to cover without breaking interest. AND can remember what happened in his major battles. Really, though, just PLAN IT OUT. The whole point of a battle is the plans and whether they work or not. And if they don't - which is a lot more interesting - how your characters react. Once you know it blow by blow in note form, you can write it a lot easier, and know where to look. Battles are the one time your characters might know as much as or even more than you - the ones in charge, if they're good. All you really need to remember is that everyone should always be doing something, unless they're specifically meant not to be. Don't have a long pause in action with your archers to the side just because the guys battering down the gate are where the interest is at - when you go back to the other guys, they need to have made progress or lost ground or something. Things like that.
I'm not sure there's an especial knack to describing battle scenes particularly. I think your prose style is probably more of an issue. Ornamental writing is great so long as it doesn't obscure, get in the way of, what you're trying to say.
I have to agree with art. I find in my own reading that, with battle scenes, the less florid the language, the better. I found your beginning of "And so..." to be very off-putting; it struck me as overly dramatic. Battles are pretty dramatic all by themselves, so what you really need to do is use just enough language to put the reader in the middle of it, with a focus on your main characters' reactions. Best of luck.
