The not happy thread

Ash, I always feel so bad for you when you're dealing with your lady problems. Hang in there!!

I feel like this is a minor complaint in comparison with other people's problems, but we had the exterminator come today...and then I was walking past my bedroom, and there it was...a bug crawling across the floor. *cries*

 

Don't get it. Just got to spend two whole days with Ray, the night included, and I'm depressed as hell. This is not normal. I'm not sad, I'm just... it's like my brain has checked out completely. The only time I feel any better at all is when it's just me and him hanging out. And now he's gone and I won't see him for another week. F***.

 

Ugh! Second year results in just over four hours...

Ugh, I say!

 

So tonight has been the worst night since arriving home from Honduras. But I'm not gonna complain about that. I'm a little hurt and a little sad and I'm going to post my rant to said person here, safe inside spoiler tags, where he will never find it.

Spoiler

I'm so mad at you right now. You said you were going to come tonight. You said you were gonna be here. You said we could talk. You didn't even bother to call. You didn't say anything. That wouldn't bother me much at all if you didn't know that I needed you here tonight. I told you. I told you that I was hurt and that I just needed someone here. You said you'd be that someone. But you're not here. I know you love her. I know that you didn't mean any harm to me. But right now, it kinda hurts. Right now I kinda still need you here. I hate that I've become pathetic enough to use words like "need" in reference to you. But oh well. Here it is. Need. Pathetic.

To be quite honest, all I'd love to do is curse you out and push you away from me and make you go away. And make you hurt. But I will never do that. You know that.

Anyway, I still want you to come. I still want to see you, whenever you leave her house is fine with me. I'll be up.

Love you,
Em.

There. Pathetic.

 

Wanted to come here and give everyone a big internet hug. *HUGS*

 

*Hugs Terra back*

I had a somewhat disturbing and terrible nightmare that somehow made sense...I dreamnt that my main character killed himself in the last book (not writing the last book, though) because, in a brief stint of madness, he believed himself responsible for everything that happened in the previous books, angry that everyone he ever knew and loved kept dying either for him or any other matter.

When the house caught on fire, he pushed everyone else out of the house, went to his room (locked it) and waited for the end. The last image was of him lying on his bed, his eyes closed with tears coming down his cheek. His face was illuminated by the fire that had already gotten in. His last words, "I love you, my darling wife...my darling child..."

Then cut to the outside. One of his friends wants to run in to save the man, but an elder looks at him and says, "He's made his nest, so for God's sake, let him lie in it!!"

I'm then forced into the friend's perspective. The friend looks up to the window belonging to the character's room, only to see it completely engulfed in flames.

I hate the idea of killing my characters at all. They're like my good friends, pretty much.

 

Oh, I'm sorry Em. *hugs*
I know it sucks when you're waiting for someone and they don't turn up... something similar ever happened to me- I had a crush on this guy, and then for some reason I wasn't going to see him for a long time, so I was going to meet him, and then I was there, and I waited, and waited, but he didn't turn up. I was so dissapointed... it must be even worse with you, cause I bet you know him better. So I'm sorry.
*hugs again*

 

One of my old first school friends has found out I'm an atheist and now he will not speak to me. That sucks, I rather like the guy too.

 

That's really stupid. Was he a Christian or what?

 

I'm a Christian, Lemex, and let me say that I don't have a problem with you being atheist. I respect it and it shames me that some of my fellow Christians (this is what I'm assuming this person was) can't seem to accept that, even going as far as not speaking to people who may not believe in Jesus.

* I emphasized the "some" so that no one thinks I'm lumping all Christians into one pot.

 

He's a Jew. It's just a shame really, considering he spends a lot of time around other gentiles; I don't see why it's so much of a problem to him.

Well, thank you. Live and let live brother.

 

In the wise words of Cogito: Perzactly!

 

Well that's kind of stupid. I'm a Christian, and just because someone's an atheist I won't stop talking to that person. The opposite, rather.

 

That is pretty terrible. Something similar once happened to me, though it's not as bad because I wasn't really the guys friend.

Some guy wanted me to try out for his band because he liked my singing. We talked a bit and he asked me about my beliefs so I told him.

He then went into a giant angry rant about how I'm wrong and that I'm filled with "hate propaganda" and that atheism is truly the only rational way to think.

I was speechless.

I didn't argue with him at all, even though I could have easily addressed and shot down each one of his points of faulty logic. I could tell that this was a person who wasn't interested in listening to another point of view, so I didn't see the point. (Plus he looked as if he'd physically lash out at me if I argued)

In the end I got up to go and told him that I respected his beliefs, but disagree. I moved to shake his hand to thank him at least for his interest in my singing and he looked at me as if I was a leper and didn't touch me.

I just sort of walked away awkwardly, hurt and bothered by such passionate anger and intolerance.

 

I'm not happy, because after 4 years of death, chaos and mayhem I finally got to a happy place then 2 weeks later my gf decided in some twisted way to save me from her and dumped me without any warning. She did it for me. On what planet I ask you? So not happy. But hey, abject misery sets my muses off. Oh lucky me.

 

She absolutely did not. That's such a freaking cop-out. It's exactly like the whole "It's not you, it's me" cliche.
We all know it's a lie yet, hilariously enough, some people still use it.

 

Thank you. No seriously, thank you. I actually think she believes that is the truth in order to assuage her guilt because she never wants to hurt me. THIS doesn't hurt at all... compared to what?

Me. I cannot wrap my head around the idea that one completely drives off the one person who loves you unconditionally when your life is bearing down on you. Then again, love defies logic.

 

I'm sorry, Em. I'm mad at him for you. That's a really thoughtless thing to do.

Dude, I've been there, and I really feel for you. Most of the time when people I used to be really close to get all berserk about me not being Mormon anymore, I try to tell myself that it's their loss, if they want to be judgmental and closeminded and treat me so harshly just because I don't believe the same things they do, then I'm not interested in their friendship...but when you get down to it, regardless of what I tell myself to make myself feel better, that sort of thing is just sh*tty. I'm sorry that you're dealing with the same thing.

Damn, I'm sorry! I know it's not much of a consolation, but you deserve better than someone who would treat you like that. If you're going to break up with someone, at least give them an honest reason why...

 

I have met so many intolerant people like this, it is absolutely unbelievable. Religion is such a touchy topic I rarely, if ever, bring it up anymore. I'm really sorry he won't speak to you, I honestly don't think that's fair.... I'm Lutheran (also interested in Hinduism) and I could care less if someone doesn't believe the same things I do, I respect that. It's when people think their religion is better than yours or that you're wrong in some way that I don't respect.

I'm really sorry Lemex.

 

That's a lot GNR, Hiddennovelist and Lavarian. Thanks for the kind words.

 

You're welcome. Glad I could help. Similar stuff has happened to all of us, I'm sure.

 

It's hot. I can't sleep.


And that's the only thing I can complain about.

 

It's hot here too, Lyd--I feel your pain. Wisconsin: Where you can wear a swimsuit and a snowsuit in the same week.

 

Really hot here too =/ Freezing inside my house so It's hard to find a happy medium. I've really been wanting to go on a long walk around the woods but I'd die of heat exhaustion or something. Especially with all this freaking hair. I needs to be shaved ._. I love it but my God it has to go.

 

^I think the same thing about my hair all the time. I love it long, but when it's almost 120 degrees outside, having hair halfway down your back just isn't practical...

In other news, I just paid almost $5000 in bills. And there's another $1500 coming up...bye bye, savings account. Fortunately, one of these bills was the final month's rent on our apartment in Arizona, and the rest were mostly moving expenses, so after this, we should be fine. Still, though...it's a little stressful.