The Not Happy Thread

Gah. I got drunk once. Never Again.
Awful thing that.

@Mercurial
Anxiety does weird things to us. Maybe you should go see a doctor just in case?

 

I'm sorry, Tor! Not being able to talk to anyone about something is the worst.
*hugs*

I really hope you feel better soon.

 

Well, who's making you keep quiet about this?

 

Hope you feel better everyone. As for my exams, I don't wait to get sick during the exams. I get sick right after. Which is now. I've been sick sense Tuesday with no time to stop.

 

I just want to scream, cry, lay blame... but I can't. I just want to cry right now. But tears are only going to make matters harder and aren't going to wash the problem away. I just want to cry.

 

I hope everyone feels better, whether they're ill or dealing with problems.

Torana, it's okay to cry. If you want to, then cry, it helps to let it out.

Pretty trivial but it's snowing a little here, well was, and I'm hoping it doesn't snow again until I'm home, because I'm going home by train tomorrow and would like to be able to get home tomorrow.

 

I suffer from depression and Borderline Personality Disorder. My relationship is falling apart and I'm failing college because of it.

However, I have to laugh. Because if I didn't, I would cry.

 

My brother's flight home got interrupted by bad weather and he had to spend the night in a DC airport. And he may have to spend tonight in a SF airport because of snow. Poor guy . . . . Then again, all he has to do is pop the magic words "unaccompanied minor," and he gets food vouchers and offers of help stuffed in his face. He's doing fine, but we want him home!

 

I've just given up on the 360. Apparently I accidentally saved over my 70% Red Dead Redemption file and...well, that's it. I'm retiring the 360 until Skyrim is released on 11/11/11.

For now, I'll just stick with the Wii and my PS3.

 

My store manager just got put on disability and taken out of our store. We don't have an assistant store manager right now, either, which means I'm the highest manager in the store. If I make it to January without getting an ulcer or having some sort of breakdown, I'll be lucky.

 

Thank you, and hope that you are able to get home as well.

Two weeks ago now, my son had Grommets put in his ears again, to fix his hearing loss. He had a check up yesterday, and while the left ear has improved, the right ear has not. The specialist had concerns before and during the procedure, as to whether it would fix his hearing loss or not, as he can not have grommets again, as his eardrums simply won't cope with the constant intrusion. He is now waiting for an appointment to get an extensive hearing test done at another facility, before the final decision is made and to determine exactly how severe the hearing impairment is. Once we get the results, we go back to see the specialist and my son may be fitted with a hearing aid. As it stands, he can't hear out of his right ear, which is affecting his education quite badly. I was rather upset by this yesterday and still a bit today. I don't want my son to have this problem, I don't want him to have to be labeled with a disability by others because people here are so damn judgmental, I'd rather him not have to wear a hearing aid as well, but I would also much rather his quality of life be much better than it is now. I just hate that this is happening. It may not be serious like many other issues and what not, but it has devastated me that he has had 3 operations that haven't helped him out, and now this. No parent wants their child to have any problems, no parent wants their child to suffer in any way, this is why I'm upset. Because he does suffer and has been for so long. I just want this all to be over with so he can hear and find everything in life easier. I'm sick of people labeling him as thick and stupid and dumb, because he isn't. He is so intelligent, but half the time he hasn't been able to hear anything, and it's made life very difficult for him, and he has done so well under these circumstances. I just wish people would f*ck off and stop giving labels. I nearly tore shreds out of my own mother for saying that it will class him as being disabled. Once he is given that label, that he has a disability, he will be treated so differently, and I just don't want that to happen. Maybe I'm reacting badly to this, but I don't care. I'm not saying I won't let him get a hearing aid, because I will if it fixes his hearing issues, I want him to be able to hear properly, but I just don't want people to treat him differently, and I want people to f*ck the hell off with their f*cking labels.

 

I'm sorry to hear about your son. If its of any comfort, I'm severly hearing impaired as well as visually (blind in one eye). I know how it feels to have people say I can't do things because of it. Once, someone said I couldn't get through college because I was, in their words, "half-way there to being the male version of Helen Keller if I lost the ability to use my remaining good ear and eye."

Guess what? They're wrong. Dead wrong.

I don't believe people are disabled. To be disabled means you have ceased living.

Tobin is still kicking, ain't he? Then he's not disabled. Even if they labeled him as disabled? SCREW 'EM! He'll find a way.

Plus, on a personal note, I actually like being hearing impaired. I get to switch off my hearing on my own free will. Useful when I'm forced to listen to a boring topic for an hour and fifty minutes. XD "Oh, you're gonna talk about the Rocky Mountains? Okay, thanks for the heads up. I'll turn my hearing aid off and daydream for the whole class." I've actually had people express their envy at my ability to turn my hearing aid off. They have to put up with hearing whatever crap they don't want to listen to.

EDIT: As for a hearing aid? Well, take it from me. It's made my life a lot easier despite having to change the hearing aid battering every now and then. It's become so much a part of me that I forget I have one. The only times I do remember is when I'm taking it on/off every night or replacing a battery. I never see myself as hard-of-hearing. Just a guy who's got the gift of switching his hearing off at will.

 

I'm sorry to hear about your son's troubles, Tor. I had a similar problem as a kid that Mason has now, and went through the same (or at least similar) procedures --assuming that grommets in Australia are the same things as tubes here in the states. I looked them up and they seem to be the same thing. I had tubes put in twice and the second time they were successful. Almost ten years later, my hearing, while still compromised, is much better than it was. I need to hear things at higher volumes, but my actual hearing range is better than most people's.

I hope there is an option out there that proves successful for your son.

 

Link, thank you for sharing your experience with me. It means a lot. Sorry about the hearing and sight issues you have. I guess if Mason is required to use a hearing aid, he'll eventually start switching it off so he doesn't have to hear me telling him off. lol! I guess you are very lucky, many a times I'd of loved to turn my hearing off when my useless twat of a cousin started being a useless twat. Thank you so much, as he gets older (should he need a hearing aid) I'm definitely going to tell him about what you have said, if he ever feels self conscious about wearing it. You have helped in so many ways.

Thanks for sharing your experiences as well, Merc. It is appreciated. Grommets are the same thing, yes. Glad the grommets helped you out, and I am sorry that you still have some hearing issues. I can't even begin to imagine the pure frustration it must cause/have caused for you. *hugs*

 

You're welcome. I really wasn't and am not sure what to say, but I thought that maybe sharing my success story might make you feel a little better. It can be frustrating to still have issues that persist no matter how many ways you try to treat them, but I try to have perspective and remind myself that I'm used to it now, and it's nice that I have this problem when there are so much more awful diseases or conditions that other people are diagnosed with every day.

And I think Link's comment is so right on. While it's no one's wish to have an impairment, there are always some positives, even if they might not always outweigh the negatives.

Anyway, I'll shut up now. You probably just wanted to vent... not hear about the silver linings. But I couldn't just not say anything when I'd been in a similar situation.

 

My back, especially through my shoulders and lower neck, is almost always in constant pain, like a dull ache. I usually have to take Ibuprofen before bed, even though I absolutely abhor medicine and feel that proper diet, exercise, and a positive attitude can solve most petty illnesses. Recently my stomach has started hurting as well, with the same dull pain. I don't want to get in the habit of taking medicine every night before bed, but I can't sleep without it.

 

I just want someone who gets what my mind has been going through. Someone who won't trivialize it or blow it off as whatever. I just.. can't keep doing this. I want it to be okay to ask questions. I want it to be okay to doubt and to not be okay and I want someone to understand that knows what it's like to wake up every morning and want to do nothing but cry.

 

I'm sorry to hear about Mason's struggles with his hearing. If it helps at all, I grew up with a guy who had hearing aids in both his ears, and no one really thought of him as handicapped. He was a top wrestler/football player, graduated in the top 20 of our class, went to college on a full ride...so struggles with hearing or not, you know that Mason can do anything he puts his mind to, at least!

*hugs*

 

Little rant here.

It does annoy me how some people crave attention, and obtain it by constantly crying "victim". Just because you feel inferior doesn't mean you are being bullied, it just means you're an idiot. How can you be picked on by people who don't even have contact with you?

That's not the bad part, though; it's the way people always flock to the victim and assume they're telling the truth. We can all feel sorry for ourselves, darlin', but it doesn't justify being a complete b/tch - it's a shame you couldn't learn that. People like you never do.

-

In more news, I missed out on a night out tonight 'cause of the snow and hassle of public transport. Would've been fun, but frankly, I didn't wanna share our "girls night" with our friends bullying, creepy boyfriend and his weird friend, both of which shouldn't have been invited....So, I'm kinda glad I stayed in and played Warcraft instead. Yes, I'm aware of how nerdy that sounds.

Also, we all had an argument the other day and I just feel like I can't trust half the people I associate with. I can't even be bothered to pretend they excite me that much anymore.

Blegh. Perhaps I'm just having xmas blues.

 

No, I really do appreciate it. It did make me feel better. It's wonderful that there are such kind people like yourself and Link who go out of their way to do what they can to help a complete stranger, the best they can. THank you again, Merc. You are a sweetie.

Thanks hidden. Really appreciate that. It's great to hear of success stories as it puts a mothers mind at ease.

Emily, I know what you mean. I used to feel the exact same way. I went through the same kind of wanting when I wasn't doing so well, emotionally and mentally. Just know, that no matter what, it is ok to feel this way, and I am always there for you if you ever need a person to talk to. Much love to you darlen. *hugs*

 

Torana I know the 'labelling' issue must be very scary for you as you don't want your son to experience unfair attitudes. However, kids are extremely resilient and often embrace their differences as it is just part of who they are and have always been. I would never presume to give parental advice as I'm not a parent myself but can tell you about my experience.

I was diagnosed with a serious condition when I was 8 that affects my mobility. It was hard to come to terms with but what I found hardest was the way my parents handled it. It would be obvious to outsiders that they were just desperate to avoid seeing me suffer. They used to do anything they could to help me assimilate with other kids and promote me as a 'normal' child. I was physically and mentally exhausted by the constant challenges put in front of me by my well meaning parents and their constant encouragement. I was, in fact, a very popular child throughout school but they were constantly worried about potential bullies. They tried at times to stop me taking on extra subjects at school as they thought it would be too tiring. It stemmed from their fear of seeing me fail, which incidentally, I never did and sailed through school with As. At the same time, they fought hard to make sure i had equal opportunities in my schooling. I have no resentment whatsoever towards them as they are amazing parents, but I wished they had seen that it really wasn't as hard for me to accept my disability as they presumed. My sister and I would often hide things from my parents that we thought might upset them. Ideally, (and I know it's not a perfect world) I would have preferred them to have been very matter of fact about everything and not make assumptions about how hard the world was going to be for me. At the same time, my father always said things like "the world doesn't owe you a living because of your disability" which I wholeheartedly agree with. I know it can't be easy being a parent!

I suppose what I'm trying to say is that while parents can be desperate to help their children avoid labels and make them 'normal'.... It can make the kid feel under a lot of pressure to conform when either they can't or don't feel they need to.

 

Bit trivial compared to some of the other reasons to post on the thread but hey...

I'm not happy because someone's turned off the tap to my creativity. Haven't written a word in two weeks.

I was working on a short that's in the fantasy section and decided to change the ending as the original one could have been read as condoning suicide, and that definitely wasn't what I was going for. But since then, nothing. It's like the story is punishing me for not sticking to my guns.

 

Lots of stories end with their character unfortunately taking their own life. As long as you make it clear with the other characters' reactions that this was not good at all, then I don't think it'd be condoning suicide.

 

I'm not happy because my boombox got smashed. Totally torn apart and shredded. It's totally unusable. What's worse, I highly doubt the person who smashed it will be forced to replace it. It's a long story... Don't ask. Oh, and then on top of that, someone asked, "Was it just your boombox that got smashed?" as if that was any consolation...

 

Peerie, thank you for sharing this story with me. I can definitely relate to your experience with your parents, as I have been in a similar position (just not for the same reasons). It is very difficult for parents to do what is right for their children. Because we don't actually know how you think and feel without you telling us (and children rarely do), all we can do is what we feel is best. Sometimes, we just act out on our own emotions and fears, instead of doing what we think is right. I think most parents, in your parents situation, probably would have done the exact same thing. Not just for the child, but to help themselves deal with the situation as well.

Sorry you had things so rough and that you weren't able to tell your parents how hard they were making it on you. A big thank you for sharing your story. I'll try to make sure I don't make the same mistakes, and put my son through any extra stress that he doesn't need.