*hope my first attempt at quoting has worked* This, exactly. Letting a door shut in someone's face, or if they're a few feet away, is just plain rude. And in the case of someone opening a door for you and allowing you to go through before them, it's just good manners. If 2 people arrive at a door at the same time, someone has to open it, and the commonly accepted courtesy where I live is that if you open the door you allow the other person to go through first, whatever the genders involved. No big deal.
I think it silly if a girl takes offense when a guy holds a door open for her. It's just common courtesy, not some sign that he degrades and disrespect women. Even if it was about her gender there's a lot more serious things to get offended about in life. I find it kind of cute when a guy does that for me, even though I find it unnecessary. It's generally a stupid idea to complain when people do nice things for you since they could so easily be doing nasty things instead.
Denying that there are people who don't want you to hold the door for them doesn't magically make them dissappear. Are you a fantasy writer? Ignoring how the person might feel by a well-intentioned gesture is a sign being out for self gratification, or a deficiency in empathy. Denial of different reactions to the same behavioral stimulus and of different motives for the same behavior is a sign of being out of touch with reality or fallacious reasoning. Basing generalizations on where one liives constitutes an over generalization based on unrepresentative or scanty evidence Also, calling something gobbledygook doesn't qualify as a refutation of an idea. A basic course on methods of argumentation would be helpful. BTW I didn't just read psychology books my friend, I studied psychology at the college level for a year and a half and aced the courses as part of the social science curriculum. So there goes your first unfounded assumption right down the proverbial drain.
I have to admit that I have never, in my life, heard anyone complain about having a door held open for them. Occasionally people will accept the invitation somewhat ungraciously by walking through the opening without making eye contact or giving thanks, but I'm never inclined to use that as a justification to start an argument. Personally, it's something that I have done all of my adult life, although I do differentiate in the respect that I will tend to hold a door open only long enough for the person behind to grab it (rather than allow it to shut in their face) where that person is male, whilst I tend to allow a woman to pass through before me (as I would, in fairness, if the person was old or disabled, or had their hands full regardless of gender). I think that it comes down to the convention of ladies first which is something that I have been taught from a young age, and if any women truly object to such "preferential" treatment, I could point out that it is sometimes very advantageous. Think Titanic...
I don't agree Radrook. You can't know how a stranger will feel about it. Continuing in the courteous manner is the best course. Further' objection to the courtesy is unreasonable, and one should not act discourteously merely to appease unreasonable people.
If you think people should constantly consider whether or not you may be offended by a small, nearly reflexive gesture of decency, then you should probably go to a proctologist about that stick up your butt. Just saying. If the world thought that way, then no one would smile at, talk to, or interact with each other for fear it might offend them, and that sounds a lot worse than putting up with two seconds of having someone hold the door every so often.
We already have quite enough of that, to the point where people are afraid to say "Merry Christmas" because it's now considered okay to jump down that person's throat for pushing their religious beliefs on others. Maybe people need to stop looking for 'ulterior motives' and just accept good wishes and courteous actions for what they appear to be - good wishes and courteous actions.
In ye old days it was considered normal to doff hats to women, or to pull one's forelock (of hair) if there was no hat to remove, to women or social superiors. At court men bowed with a series of strictly proscribed formulaic movements. They also kissed a woman's hand on greeting. These kinds of gestures were considered correct manners, the height of courteous and correct behaviour. They have now died out, so what's wrong with admitting this action has also had its day. There is no need to subject women to this irritating and unnecessary 'politeness' (I'm not talking about holding a door open to help). That could also go for the 'women first' convention when evacuating sinking ships, too.
When people are hell bent on making pests of themselves it's because they derive some perverse pleasure from it on as subconscious level. So trying to reason with such pests is really useless since they can't stop their obsessive compulsive behavior because it provides a psychological lift. The sad part is that such supposed do gooders go around with this halo imaginary halo on their heads hiding the or devilish horns under the guise of courtesy while snickering all along about how they are getting their chauvinistic message across under the guise of courtesy. I've personally heard some of these "courteous" door-holders saying that a woman should be barefoot and pregnant twenty-four seven and refer to women as c**nts in their private conversations. As for holding doors for men, two of my courtesy attempts in that area almost resulted in a fist fight. But then again that's maybe my neighborhood and I know it's an extreme reaction but it did happen so it is within the parameters of human behavior. BTW There are some here who appear to think that I'm suggesting rudeness? For those who are I suggest remedial reading comprehension classes since I at no time have said that true courtesy is wrong. If indeed you derived that idea from what I wrote then you are definitely deficient in reading comprehension or in logical thinking ability. As for stick up the ass name calling of this other poster. I'll just simply place you on my ignore list permanently and be permanently done with her. As they say, out of sight out of mind. BTW That snide homosexual remark about having stick up asses one poster just made is why I don't allow feedback on my blogs and this proves I am right in keeping it that way. Thanks for the confirmation.
That's ridiculous! You just disqualified yourself as someone who can speak with a straight face about decency with that indecent remark! LOL
You would have us believe that you never heard women liberationist say continually that they don't want you opening the door for them? They have even expressed it on this thread several times and you still refuse to pay attention? That's unbelievable! In order for you to be totally ignorant of their views requires either mental retardation or a complete detachment from reality and certainly you aren't either-right? So all that remains is a need to contradict in order to heckle or a need to ignore in order to inflict male chauvinism on women. Such irrational feedback is one reason why I don't allow comments on my blogs
The problem is that I am not suggesting what you people continue to say I'm suggesting. So essentially you people have set up a convenient strawman argument, attribute it to me and then irrationally attack as it were mine. It isn't.
Okay, this thread has decended into the toilet. Flushhhhh. I'd pass out infractions, but I would have to hand out several. Suffice to say, a few of you are on thin ice.