The Not Happy Thread

Yesterday I got a phone call I'd been having nightmares about. My mom saw the ENT friday about her losing her voice all the time. After some scans, turns out she has a collapsed vocal cord and they believe she has cancer. We find out by the end of the week. It feels like my whole world has just been torn to pieces once more. Even if it isn't cancer, it's still just as serious because of her illness she has already. SHe sees her specialist tomorrow... I wish I was there to hold her hand like she was always there for me. We were told to make Christmas extra special this year, as it is probably going to be her last one, her health has got that bad. It hurts. It really hurts. I'm not coping so well with the news. But then, when doctors turn around and start talking about cancer and tumors... who does cope well with it?

 

Hey Torana, that is an awful bit to deal with. I wish it was easier, but it sure isn't. If you ever need someone to talk to, my inbox is always open. Maybe, things will take a change for the better. You never know..

 

Torana: I'm so sorry to hear that. I don't really know what to say, so I'll just say I hope it isn't cancer and that you have people to support you.

 

Thanks, it means a lot. It's just been such a bad end to the year. My daughter came down sick again, my partner has no job in 3 weeks, my mom has progressed with her illness and now that on top of it all... it's hard to cope. I feel like I'm losing the plot right now. It's amazing when you go through things like this, because you find out which of your friends really do care and that people you've been friends with for just short of 24 years of your life aren't as good a friends as you thought they were... it's been a really messed up end of the year... be glad when it's over. I really will. Not looking forward to Christmas, that's for sure.

 

Stupid right-leaning public electing a stupid right-wing government with a sleazy far-right leader...this election is painful to watch.

Oh yeah, New Zealand is having an election by the way. Not that the rest of the world takes any notice. Which is good, because our "leader" is an embarassment. As is our press...there was a scandal where a public meeting was taped and the prime minister asked the media not to release the contents. So what does the media do? Comply with his request and surrender all the relevant material to the police. Yay for a free press...

 

I'm right there with you, Arron. This is excruciating.

But the Greens are doing really well, which I'm happy about.

 

3 more years

 

I'm bored. In a 'I want to go out with people and do stuff' sense. But no one's about. No one! And even I'm not going to drive out to Huddersfield for a Coffee Evolution hot chocolate if it means sitting on my own (my Nano group doesn't meet on Saturdays). Even worse, I'll be spending my Saturday night sat at home on my own because no one's round. And my parents are going off for a meal with their friends.

Dammit, why does my best mate have to be in Leicester with other members of that group in Aberystwyth and Ikea (shopping for bookshelves with his wife) respectively? And the other group of mates here (so to speak) are in London (x2), Ecuador, Aberystwyth, York and Huddersfield University Library (writing his dissertation). And why did I turn down the chance to go to the Newcastle Book Festival?

Bored!

And I just put my shorts on ready to go for a run - it started chucking it down. Charming.

 

Gary Speed has committed suicide. Absolutely shocked.

 

I just read about it online.

R.I.P. Gary Speed.

 

It's only three years since I last saw him play. He scored that day, with a trademark header after a late run into the box. Since then he's gone on to be a very promising manager, with Wales in great form. He was always a top pro and someone you could respect and like regardless of who you supported. He was on Football Focus yesterday lunchtime and he seemed in good spirits, looking forward to Wales's World Cup qualifying campaign. It's so tragic that he's taken his own life, because he wasn't just a good footballer but a good man.

 

It's so sad about Gary Speed i could not believe it when my son told he was dead. I only watched him on football focus yesterday and now today he is gone. He leaves two young daughters aswell he must have been in a very dark place to do that such a shame. RIP

 

I hate trying to figure people out. I hate liking someone who is confusing and sending mixed signals and near imposible to figure out and yet not being able to not like them because I like them so much! The worst part is this whole confusing mess I'm in isn't even something that I feel like I need much advice for. It's been a while, I know he's busy, and he either does like me and will talk to me or he won't. But I can't stop thinking about him and wishing he will say something/stop confusing me and that's not making me any happier. It also sucks because I feel like this thing isn't over and I don't want it to be over because I really really really like this guy-I might like him more than any guy I've ever liked (including my ex which is kind of sad) not that I can even justify why-but yet all the recent evidence suggests that whatever we had is fizzling out, yet at the same time I am convinced it's not over. This in turn is confusing because I can't figure out if thats wistful thinking on my part or intuition because whenever something has happened I've had a similar feeling. Now I'm stuck in this awful limbo land of not wanting to push too much and cause things to die/go wrong/become awkward and wanting to make something happen and not let this go. The worst part is this is all his fault to. He started this whole thing and he's dragging it out and it really really sucks

 

Congrats on explaining yourself really well, the subject matter is not easy to say the least. Reading your post i think you have done all you can apart from a direct request for an explanation which would sound to me to not be asking to much. Perhaps he needs that push ? Perhaps he is unaware just how you feel and if you bring it to a head things may become clearer for you both ? How many times in life have we taken for granted that the other person in a situation knows how we feel only to find out later that they had no idea or understanding of hows things were from our point of view ? Just something to ponder on, not preaching just wishing you well. Goodluck.

 

Christmas is in less than a month... I'm sad for my stomach... Christmas, as is known, is a time of waaay too much food.

 

Talking about Christmas, I'm getting sick of people complaining about hearing 'Merry Christmas'.

Sure, Christmas lasts about 3 months now, but come on! It doesn't take 2 seconds to return a pleasantry. I'm not even saying this from a biased standing either, I'm an Atheist, and don't celebrate Christmas. If you have religious objections to Christmas then ... that I understand, I guess. But, then again, I have a Muslim friend who sends me a Christmas Card every year from Turkey. He doesn't have to, but he does it. It's just being nice.

 

I can't sleep. I've been laying awake in bed for the past couple of hours (yeah, I go to bed early ;P). I wouldn't mind so much but it keeps happening recently and looking like it's going to become a regular thing. I want my ability to sleep normally back, please.

 

Sometimes I have the same problem - can't sleep - goes on for hours, even as much as 6 or 7 hours straight in bed without sleep. Once I notice that I can't sleep that makes it further harder to sleep. If I ever counter a situation like that again I'll just skip sleeping for a day or two, maybe it'll help.

 

Dude, I feel that way too. I don't understand why it's such a massive deal. :/

I'm sorry Yellow! *HUGS* Sometimes people go through phases and they get distant or busy. It's happened with me a lot of times. I'll get busy or my bf will get busy or one of us will be in a funk.. But we're far from over it's just a normal phase.

I'm extremely irritated because some idiot implied I have no regard for life because I think a woman should have the right to end her pregnancy if it's going to kill her. Really? It was on my friend's facebook. It started with me just saying he sounded kinda judgemental. And he did. He was saying how abortion is evil and should be totally outlawed.

I'm one of the unlucky few women who would need an abortion if I ever, God forbid, got pregnant. It would paralyze me. I've had too much damage to my spine. The very idea of having to make a choice like that makes me want to cry and I have some nutcase telling me I have no regard for life? The woman who takes in strays right and left, cries at commercials of starving children, and has lost dear friends to cancer? Yeah.. I have no regard for life alright.

I don't think abortion is right except under certain circumstances. I do think in those times you do what you have to do to survive. It makes me livid that a MAN who will never have to deal with this in that capacity is telling ME how to feel about it. Or women who are PERFECTLY HEALTHY telling me how to feel about it!

I blocked him. He was getting to where he was being flat out condescending and I told him "I'm done".

On the bright side I got to use one of my most favorite angry phrases ever, "Don't patronize me." Rarely does a situation arise where I can use it and it made me happy I got to use it. So that makes me feel a bit better. lol Sick but true.

 

I can't quit smoking. I'm going to die young.

 

What about electronic cigarettes? They're not as bad because you just get the nicotine and not the smoke. Not as good as quitting but the lesser of two evils.

 

Absolutely don't take stuff like that to heart. There are lots of judgemental folk about...

Or, in other words, he's talking through his hat, about something he'll never have to deal with.

 

Agreed. Men (like me) should stay out of debates concerning things we will never know and have to deal with. Pregnancy is one of them.

 

^

Oh, I do think men can discuss it and most definitely have a say in it, when they are affected. I just meant in this case, he seems to make quite categorical judgements, especially the 'evil' bit.

 

This house is very cold. I want to write but I think my fingers will freeze soon.