How to write good dialogue

I like to say funny is an awful word because it is. You cannot measure funny, only humor. Try to be humorous, not funny . Trust me it will go over much better, anyone can recognize humor not many people have the same idea of "funny."

To be humorous:

1) Have your character use the wonderful, if a bit stereotypical, thing that is sarcastic insults.
2) Don't be afraid to say things that are just a bit, in the slightest only a tad when you can, outrageous.'
3) If humor isn't there don't force it too much or it can ruin your style.

Now scamper off and be humorous.

 

A skyscraper with a red flag on it, and Matt couldn't see it!!! He should've gone to Specsavers.

 

I agree that the technique can work, but this specific example isn't working for me - the things that Joel is saying sound like things that you need the reader to know, not like things he would actually need to say to Matt. Either the logo or the flag should be sufficient to identify the building to Matt; having two items of description telegraphs, to me, that the conversation is for the reader's benefit. In fact, having any item of description appear only in the dialogue, when you're providing a lot of description in narrative anyway, gives me that vibe. If this were mine and I were editing, I would change it to:

"'Do you see that building there?' Joel said.*
Matt shook his head. "Which one?"
Joel pointed to a skyscraper that stood above the rest of the city's towers. It had a circular structure and the entire building was covered with tinted glass windows. A large logo, an "A" surrounded by a circle, dominated the top several floors, and an enormous red flag flew at the very top. "Don't be stupid. That gigantic ugly steel-and-glass thing? With the flag? Did you forget to wear your contacts again?"

Here, I've completely abandoned having the conversation describe the building. Instead, it's providing some insight into Joel's feelings about the building specifically and one kind of architecture in general, and also lets us know that Matt wears contacts. And it retains the fact that Joel appears to be pretty contemptuous of Matt, and that he doesn't hesitate to be rude to him.

Now, the contacts part is a lousy example, because nobody is likely go out without their contacts; pretending that they would is, again, something that telegraphs that I'm using the conversation to communicate a fact. It's just an example (a poor one) of using dialogue to convey information that is a couple of levels of indirection away from the actual topic of the conversation.

ChickenFreak

 

I think you need to separate the narrative - i.e. an inanimate description from dialogue i.e. two people talking.

"Do you see that building?" Joel asked.
Matt shrugged, 'Which One?"
"You see the big blue one?"
"Sure."
"And next to that, you see the circular one with the pointy top and the big red 'A' plastered over the side?"
"Sure."
"We have a winner!"

Matt squinted as the sun reflected off its sheer glass sides.

Joel patted him on the back laughing, "Geez dude, it's huge. It even has flags for chrissakes."

Could be another way to go about it. In any event - you mentioned a dialogue to narrative ratio early on - I wouldn't be too bothered at the early stages - remember, as a beginner you are probably using five times the words you need to to convey a point so you should cull heaps during editing.

I have read some stories that were light in dialogue and others heavy - once again it depends on what the premise / theme of your story is. If the entire story takes place in a single room between two people, it's fair to assume the story might be dialogue heavy.

 

Glad Matt took my advice, not bifocals I hope, they have you tripping up everywhere, still that could be part of the plot.
"Hey mind you don't trip over that skyscraper," said Joel, "oops too late."

 

“Do you see the building with the big “A” on it?” Joel asked.
Matt shrugged “Ya, why?”
Nodding towards it Joel answered “That’s where we’re headed, near the top.”
Looking a bit confused Matt asked “What in hell for?”
With a sly grin “Let’s just say I want to take that “A” and shove it up their “A”. And I want to make it hurt.”
Matt stunned and a bit nervous “Couldn’t we just send them a nasty note or something? Maybe, let them off with a stern warning this time?”

 

If you can find someone who is like your character or at least has the trait you are looking for at the moment, you can often glean grat stuff from watching them or interacting with them. I think watching a real person offers better bit than TV and Movies but they are a very good choice especialy if you don't know someone who is funny.

 

I think trying to step into the shoes of my characters does help, maybe I can try taping the scenes and then write them down as well. I've watched a couple of girls exchanging a conv. today and it does sort of sparkle some ideas in my head. Not really sure about watching TV, it feels like TV shows or movies are sort of too acted to sound real at times.

I'm still having a hard time with the funny/humorous guy. Not really sure I should stick to something that doesn't add a bit of a laugh or a chuckle. My MC is totally annoying as it is so he needs someone around to break the ice. I just got to figure out how to come with nice, clean and unforced fun.

Thanks for the input, guys.

 

For the humor, don't force it. The funniest jokes in real-life aren't expected, they come out of nowhere. If you make a big deal out of showcasing a certain character as "the funny one," then readers will expect everything out of their mouth to be funny, which will invariably lead to disappointment and eventual annoyance. Just have him say really out-of-place or awkward things every now and then in a way that will genuinely surprise the readers. And don't label him as funny in any way...don't have characters going on about his humor, don't make any comments about how he is funny, etc. Just put the humor in and let readers decide for themselves if the character is humorous or not.

 

I'm writing a short story set in a council estate. Would you say it's acceptable to use swearing in order to make it realistic? Or do you feel readers wouldn't appreciate it? If not, then what ways would you suggest in getting around it?

 

Your readers will probably appreciate authenticity rather more than contrived methods to avoid it. Swear.

 

You mean the really bad words, like 'liberal' or 'socialist'?

Heck, I wouldn't stand for that effing language in any story I read...

 

I have read a few stories (don't remember the titles) where swearing was edited out (I say edited because the dialogue just did not feel right without those particular words in it), or some new and not swearing-sounding words had been made up. It is so... wrong, It irritates me a lot.

Swearing is a part of everyday life, more or less. It is natural. Some people avoid using and dislike it entirely but you cannot make your work suffer because you think someone might not like it, keep it as realistic as you can. Cutting out bad language lowers the quality of the story.

If your character's personality and the situation allows and even demands the use of bad language then that is what you should do.

 

Yes, and there was a big story several months ago about the editing done to Huckleberry Finn. Sometimes the politically correct police overreach. One entire segment of the book deals with Huck adjusting his opinion on racism.

 

Come on. Are you 12? How can this even be a question?

Yes, it's acceptable.

 

does the book have a point if you censor it? its like censoring Fahrenheit 451

 

Of course it's acceptable. It's the way people talk.

Of course, decades ago, you couldn't publish a book like that. Hemingway had a fight with his publisher over For Whom The Bell Tolls, because he wanted his characters to be able to swear. The publishers objected, so now Hemingway's characters say things like "I obscenity in the milk of thy mother," which is pretty cool and funny on its own, but is definitely NOT what Hemingway wanted to write.

 

If swearing is appropriate to your characters, then absolutely. Obviously you can't put swearing in a children's book, and even in YA some words will probably have to be toned down, but if you're writing for an adult readership there is absolutely no reason why you shouldn't use bad language.

 

Swearing is a choice. Your market may have some restrictions.

In any case, if you choose to use gutter language, always use less than you think is "authentic". You will have the illusion of authenticity with a light touch. More than that will seem thicker than it is, even to the point of appearing comedic.

Watch the movie Cabin Fever sometime. They drop so many F-bombs they had me and my children doubled over with laughter. It was too fucking much to take seriously.

 

I use swearing in almost every story I write. I stick to writing Military Sci-Fi and stories about Utilitarian and Dystopian states, my current story is about a revolution led by a group of teenagers. Swearing is an integral part of language and one that people use a lot. Realism is important in any story and I think using swear words in dialogue where necessary adds realism to the story.

 

It depends on what you intend to do with your story when it is finished:

It won't be acceptable to a womans magazine if it has bad language spattered all over it.

 

I agree.

If you swear often it means nothing, sort of like using too many !!!!. Save your foul mouth for when it really matters (if you have to use it at all).
I am of the school of thought that there are far more creative ways to express your displeasure, swearing generally makes you look less educated. Yeah, I know I'll get shot for expressing this anti-swearing opinion so I put on my bullet proof vest.

 

what market is this for?... adults, or YA?...

if the younger end of YA, you may have to tone down the language, but it sure wouldn't be believable if you had tough kids on an estate saying 'heck' and 'darn' and 'so's your old man!' instead of what we all know they'd be saying...

 

What I try to do is have the level and type of swearing correlate to the characters position and personality. One of my most socially elevated characters rarely swears. His body guard swears a little more but when she does she goes full boat. Then I have some grunts and young operators that swear a lot.

 

As long as it is done in an artistic manner than you can get away with pretty much anything.

Look at Cormac McCarthy, some of his books feature graphic scenes involving babies.

When you write a chapter, than go back and change it to make people happy; you are no longer a writer. You are selling yourself for fame and $$$.