The Not Happy Thread

I guess I'll pop in and toss in my own two cents, can I just say that petty arguments via text messaging on a mobile are just enough to make me want to tear out my hair and scream. It's not a good situation to argue through text because goodness knows, a message like that can be misinterpreted and misconstrued in so many ways, and not being able to convey a tone or a mannerism very well... well, it's blown into a big mess with my best friend and she's about to drive me up the wall. On one hand, putting the mobile on silent and heading off for bed sounds ideal, but I don't want to be mean and just leave her hanging.

Ack! That's about all. I'll go back to browsing now.

 

My teeth aren't bad, but there's an early onset of crowding on the bottom set that concerns my dentist. She says it will only get worse as I age. I'm going to have to meet with an ortho about it for a second opinion. But, yeah, I can be pretty vain. I guess one of my weakness is that I like to look pretty. Plus, I work in an office and I do court translation work, so I'm required to do a lot of talking. I'd prefer to go with something less noticeable. Thus, the whole braces vs invisalign debate. I'll be sure to weigh the options though. You brought up a good point.

You're only human, so that's normal. Feel kind of bad that the only thing I can say is, "Hang in there!" Um, or should I say, "Every cloud has a silver lining"? But even if things still don't go well, I hope you can find some humor in it. Sometimes it helps to laugh when things go bad, just for the heck of it.

 

Technology is meant to serve people, not the other way around.

Do you feel compelled to answer the phone no matter what the caller is interrupting?

Do you feel obligated to respond to every text message? Immediately? Eventually?

Then you may need to find a twelve step app to help you b reak out of slavery.

 

So my birthday is barely a week away and my boyfriend tells me he kissed another girl last week. Over two years and he hasn't ever done this. I was angry, humiliated and ridiculously I felt like I had done something wrong, I felt inadaquite. However you spell it. He says he was drunk, and he did drink a lot even for him last week and his cat was sick and he doesn't talk about stuff that worries him, he just blocks it up until he explodes at someone, usually his mother.

I'm ok now, I think. I just can't believe he did this to me. After such a good night...great gig, met the band had a proper good chat and I even had a fangirl moment when the guitarist hugged me without me even asking for a hug! And I got offered a job interview next week and my horse actually caught and came in without any problems and he worked so well. So I just had a cigarette to chill out and think. I don't even have my shiny new vynal vinal whatever...vinyl? of Katatonia's new album...I can't even get to hear it til my birthday and Katatonia, dark and moody, always make me happy. What the hell =(

Is it possible to get by something like this? This is completely out of character for him and I love him. Can you learn to trust again? Earlier this year we were talking about the possibility of having a life together...we have worked too hard to get by everything...one drunken kiss, with a girl he knows, but he has no recollection of it. Can I get find a way past it without losing the best thing that ever happened to me?

 

^ Firstly, it's not your fault and you haven't done anything wrong. It is solely your boyfriend's fault and he is the only one in the wrong. As for getting past this and regaining trust, I think it's one of those things you won't know until you try. Your boyfriend has admitted the drunken kiss to you so at least he was honest with you (not making excuses for his mistake). I think you just need to have a really open and honest conversation with your boyfriend, get all your concerns off your chest and discuss the future of your relationship. But I'm no relationship expert. I hope things get sorted between you two, whatever the result.

 

Yeah. He claims not to remember, got told by the girl. I spoke to a friend this morning. I'm going to see him and demanding he speaks to this girl and finds out exactly what happened and then I'm going from there. He said it's someone he knows and my friend and I looked up Facebook. There's 3 girls with the name he gave on his friends list. One my friend knows to have a boyfriend so we didn't look at her, one looked as if she had a boyfriend and we didn't look at her. The third...to put it mildly...looks like a slag. If it was her, I think she probably initiated it. I was a cow to him about it (I know I'm allowed but I don't like being a cow) so I'm getting answers, closure and then deciding. I don't want to leave him. I know it's cliched and I'm young but genuinely...never felt like this about anyone before, I have never wanted to be with someone so much. In 2 years I've not even looked at another guy...been in 'long term' relationships before and I always looked. I want to get past it but too many questions just now.
I cried on my hack...my horse was perfect. Came in fine and everything and normally he gets a bit skittish on a hack and/or completely ignores me while I'm busy 'singing' and air guitaring and whatever but I just lay over his neck and cried. My unaffectionate horse butted me and basically hugged me. He loves me and didn't want me to be sad. I think I have the best horse in the world! =) at least today I do.

 

Not having a good day, don't ask why I hate to explain, still this is the thread to say that I'm not very happy today no?

 

Cyanide, damn. Just damn. That really sucks. But, look, you have to see it from another perspective too: This guy loved you enough to be honest and tell you about it. If you know him to be honest with you, and to have never cheated on you, then you just be honest with him about your feelings, and see where that goes. You need to tell them that it hurt you and that he can't let it happen again. He shouldn't be going out and getting drunk around other girls if he knows (and this experience proves that) it can make him vulnerable. But getting mad and hunting down his friends is not going to help your relationship any bit. That is going to drive him crazy, and he is going to think that you don't trust him.

On the other hand, if you cannot get over it, then we can't tell you to stay with him. It's up to you whether you feel that you can live with him after this event. But, seriously, talk it over with him before you make any clear-cut decisions. He seems like a decent guy. What's going to hurt more: Losing him, or being with him with the knowledge of that drunken kiss?

 

School has killed my will to read... not that I have the time to read...

 

Same here, spklvr. I can't even finish a book in a week, while in summer, in one day I can finish one. And right now, the book I'm currently reading has been with me for three weeks, almost a MONTH, and I haven't finished it yet!

 

We have talked and I can't stop thinking about it. I changed some of my original demands...not drinking ever became not getting drunk, but I won't be letting him truly out my sight for a while. He is a decent guy, which I think makes it worse for me. He's not someone who believes in cheating and everyone we've both spoken to says it's completely out of character. For a little less than a year and half I've not even wanted to consider the possibility of not having him in my life, of not having a life with him. I get it, I'm young, plenty fish in the sea blah blah blah. But when you know, you know, right? I want to trust him again. I'm giving him a chance. I think I'm in the angry phase of it right now...the however many stages of grief. I'm at anger. I want to physically hurt him, just for a minute, to get it out. Partially anyway. I'd rather do something healthy like go for a long run but my freakin' back hurts so much I'm seeing a doctor about it on Thursday.
Me and my boyfriend have a long road back, but I want to try. He deserves that chance. Ignoring this, he is honestly one of the kindest, most loving and caring people I've ever met. He is worth another chance.

 

Even an all-out affair need not be a knife in the heart of a relationship.

My ex had an extended affair three years before our marriage ended. Yes, the marriage did end anyway, but the affair was not the reason. It was the reason we went to counseling. There was more wrong that the affair, and THAT'S what ended the marriage.

Loss of trust can be mended, sometimes. Mistakes can happen, and sometimes there is even fault to be found on both sides. Hurt heals with time, no matter how deep the pain feels now.

On the other hand, don't stay with him just to not be alone. I've seen too many relationships held together with desperation over fear of being alone, and it's not a pretty sight. Everyone should like the company they keep when they are alone.

 

I have a bad headache. The kind of headache that makes my whole face hurt. The kind that feels better for a few minutes and then pounds twice as hard.

 

^ Those are the worst! Hang in there, Jess.

It seems like you guys have come a long way together and have built a good, solid foundation for your relationship. I have to hand it to the both of you for managing to keep the relationship good so far, enough so that a) he feels he can tell you about a stupid mistake he made and b) you can still see the good in him and give him another chance to redeem himself. I don't think my relationships have ever gone to this stage. (I'm such an awkward person!) If bad things happen, I just make a run toward the exit and avoid that person like the plague, all the while still feeling miserable about it and never really letting myself heal. You seem like you're moving along with the healing process though. So, I really hope things work out for you. All the best!

 

@StillLife Aw, thanks! Feeling much better now...I went to bed a bit too late last night which I think brought it on. Or it may have been allergies with the new season. :/

 

Basically, job hunting sucks.

But next week, I have a job interview where I have to do a presentation and I'm dreading it. I hate public speaking. ;/

 

^ Eunoia: EEEEK! What does the presentation have to be about?

 

^ About university libraries so easy enough topic. Why must I be assessed on my presentation skills? It's not even part of the job! Oh well, I'll just have to prepare as much as I can and hope somehow I'm not as nervous as I usually am (like blushing, hands shaking, mind freezing etc. All great when having to give a presentation... ;/).

 

I swear they're making interviews into the friggin' Running Man just to see who survives! Or to see who wants it bad enough. Which is completely ridiculous, when you consider that the loudest people are often the ones with nothing going on upstairs. Empty vessels making the most noise an' all that. I sound much better in the written form than I do in real life. In real life I'm just this blushing, bumbling idiot.

Oh well, you like libraries, so I'm sure yours will go very well. I just know that mine wouldn't LOL. Good luck!

 

Same aha. And thanks! I'm just going to take it as practice and if nothing else, at least I'm not wussing out of the presentation (I was very tempted to). Nothing like a good challenge and putting myself through hell... or something.

 

Within two days I've only gotten 10 hours of sleep. But if I take a long nap I'll be up all night! *sigh* Oh well.

 

Five hours is my usual full night's sleep.

 

@Cogito I get 5 hours of sleep some nights too, but I function better with at least 7-9. One of the nights I mentioned was a camp-out with laughing friends so I may have gotten 4 hours instead, I can't remember.

 

Scraped an illegally parked car pretty badly coming out of an alley at about 5 mph. The plastic off his bumper tore off. I know it’s illegally parked, but it was still my fault, so I left a note with my contact info. We live in the same neighborhood after all. I went to work, but left on my lunch break to come back to see if the owner had shown up, but the note was still attached. I went to the barber shop that he parked in front of and told them about it. One of them knows who the car belongs to, and she says she will explain to him once she sees him. He is Mexican and cannot speak English very well, she says. I have heard nothing since this morning. It has already been 8 hours.

I am heading home in about fifteen minutes to go back and wait for the owner again. If I don’t see him, I’ll just call the police to file a police report. Hopefully, they don’t try to arrest me for something stupid like this. But you never know with Long Beach cops. Eurrrrrgh.

Wish this “honest”-to-a-fault Californian citizen luck. (I think I’ll need it.)

 

I'm very sad to hear about the Pakistani girl who was shot by the Taliban. She's only 14 and has been protesting Taliban rule in the Swat region for a few years now. The good thing is that she's expected to make a recovery. I know it's wishful thinking, but hopefully this sort of thing doesn't happen again.