Throughout writing my book, when two or three people are talking, when they're having a continuous conversation. How do you get around typing he or she said, on every other line when they talk to each other? I try to come up with fill-ins, but I feel it's unnecessary. What do you folks suggest?
When it's only two, you only occasionally need a tag or a beat, definitely not every exchange. Emily sat on the bench. "Here we go again." Henry groaned. "The dialog thing? She's writing an example?" "Yep." "Didn't she do that before in some other thread?" "Yeah, but she's too lazy to do a search." Henry said, "I could find it, just backtrack our steps." "Don't bother. Not worth it. I think she's almost done anyway. This is a short one."
Here is an example. Now I was told in the writing center, that you need coma every time you have it after he or she said. I like how you put that in the dialog, yes I did do a search but wasn't exactly what I was looking for. Cary Berg you got any examples on these motions? “You get twenty minutes, want more time, the creds will cost you,” Guard said “I got more money coming in, my men are good on it. I will get you,” Prisoner replied “Nah, I want the money now.” Hearing a grunted noise, “Here, is tu fifi. I want an hour,” “Thirty minutes is all you got. Got it or I can make it less,” He said hearing the grunted noise of the prisoner.
Some corrections are needed in the last two: Hearing a grunted noise, he said, “Blah.” “Blah,” he said, hearing the grunted noise of the prisoner. If you want to avoid the tag, the "hearing" should be "heard": Name heard a grunted noise. "Blah."
I find what also helps is creating characters who have very distinctive voices. For example, one of my characters talks in quite a hip way, so his dialogue is peppered with phrases such as "like" and "dude". This means in an exchange between three people, it's obvious to the reader who is speaking when they hear "dude". I agree that small actions, which can show a character's thoughts is massively helpful. Get good at it and you will only have to resort to about two saids every ten pages. FYI, you can learn a lot about good dialogue by reading Michael Connelly.
Unless the speaker is the Supreme Being, the 'he' should not be capitalised. You would capitalise it if you'd written : "Thirty minutes is all you got. Got it or I can make it less." He heard the grunted noise of the prisoner. He said hearing the grunted noise of the prisoner. That's not a sentence so it doesn't get a cap start. I would put a comma after 'said,' though: he said, hearing the grunted noise of the prisoner.
This is also a good example of using a combination of dialogue and action (hearing the grunt of the prisoner) that eliminates the need for any dialogue tag at all. This is also a very handy device when the conversation is among three or more individuals, as it allows you to describe some reactions of the characters.
To identify speakers, you have: the Tag (he said, she said) the Beat (She drew her Beretta.) the Sequence of speech (speaker A is logically followed by B) the Content (ideas belong to certain speakers and identify them) the Dialect (speech patterns identify a speaker) the Address of the other speaker ("As you know, Bob.") You should be using all six. That drastically reduces the need for any one. The most common of these is . . . Spoiler: Guess first! Sequence. Tags/beats can handle short one-two exchanges. As soon as the dialog goes beyond a single reply, Sequence takes over with the other five assisting. Here's our good friend Mr. Leonard with a typical exchange: “I was beginning to worry about you,” she said. (simple Tag) “It took longer than I thought it would.” “A reluctant calf?” (Sequence, already) Evan nodded, drying his hands. (The silence of a beat. It fills the space, and then the sequence returns.) “Did he pay you?” (Sequence again. Also, the Content is coming into play. SHE is asking questions, not HE.) “Not yet.” “He didn’t pay for the brucellosis shots either.” “He will, when he gets his wheat check.” “Eight miles both ways and I’ll bet he didn’t even thank you.” “He mumbled something.” (All the above is Sequence. At this point it's starting to drift, so . . .) “Ev, that’s a sixteen-mile round-trip . . . and a messy afternoon in his barn. For what? Eight or nine dollars.” (The most dangerous way out of a tag, an Address. Perfectly done here . . . Character A using the name of B in conversation always carries an extra weight. Here, it's a scolding tone. It's a disaster if you don't do it right, and the mark of an amateur. Be careful.) He looked at her curiously. “That wasn’t a child I delivered, it was a calf.” (simple Beat. Also set to Char B by Content.) “Four years of veterinary medicine to charge eight dollars —” (back to Sequence) “Twenty-five. I had to cut.” (This could be considered Dialect. Very masculine.) “It’s still too little, with the attention you give.” “Do you expect him to pay more than the calf’s worth?” She shook her head faintly. “Good Sam.” (Simple Beat. Notice where it fell, after a string of Sequence.) He frowned, moving toward her. “Julie, what’s the matter with you?” (Simple Beat AND addressing the character. This time the Address is underlining his concern.) “I’m sorry.” “You sound like Cal, talking about money like that.” “I said I was sorry.” (Sequence took the last lines again. The apology could also be another disambiguation {Dialect}, but in the age we live in, I'm not going to explain it. The story's sixty years old, and I'll leave it at that.) Coming into the exchange with more background would help too. It would underscore the dialect. What's interesting here is there's only one "said." I can't stress enough . . . Don't use addressing as an out. You have to have a VERY good reason to do it. Elmore Leonard knew exactly what he was doing. It's worth studying when he does it in his other stories. Hemingway is a good source for dialog too. He likes using the "silence of setting." Kind of another subject though. Salinger's good too, though I've lost a bit of respect for him over the years.
Yep. I remember a murder mystery where two characters, old friends, having frequent two-person conversations, used each other’s names pretty much Every Single Exchange. I couldn’t finish it. I have a tendency to overuse addressing in character arguments. It’s something I’ll need to do a dedicated sweep to eliminate.
