Basically, trying to start my next screenplay by coming up with a strong character, and have an idea that I need to workshop a bit. My character is someone that was in charge of taking care of a sick relative, and developed caretaker fatigue. To the point where, when this family member dies, they actually feel relieved. This causes massive guilt, being relieved by their family member's death, and they feel like they're a bad person, didn't do enough for them, and is selfish for putting their own relief over their grief. I also, loving superhero stories more than is healthy, want this person to suit up, but I can't quite think of a good way to tie this guilt into their reason for either becoming a hero, retiring from it, or possibly just wanting to be alone (maybe it was their dad, who was their partner or something, or maybe their dad was a superhero, and now, to make up for their guilt, they take up the mantle?). Kinda just wanting to get some idea on how I can link what is essentially caretaker fatigue taken to its extreme, and linking that to my character's superhero origin story. This is something that's kinda really personal to me. I had a dog for 8 years that I loved with all my heart. I felt like I never really did enough for him, and I would choose my own selfish needs over his. He'd have so much energy, and just want to play, and go for walks and such, but I was lazy and selfish, and just could not. Get. Away. From. The. Constant. Barking. I realized that this was terrible, and I felt guilty for a really long time. I wish I was a better friend to him. I realized that these sorts of feelings, and this behavior where you just check out because you become overwhelmed, is more common than you think (hell, it's essentially what makes people shake babies), and I wanted to write about it. I'd love for it to be a dog, but I'm not sure if that'd be easy to turn into the hero's origin story.
@frigocc I’m not here to recommend books, but would suggest this one below. The authors seem to have made a small business of writing Emotional Thesaurus works. This one I have and can recommend. Give it a look. The walk through before during and after sequences make grounded sense. The Emotional Wound Thesaurus: A Writer's Guide to Psychological Trauma (Writers Helping Writers Series): Puglisi, Becca, Ackerman, Angela: 9780989772594: Amazon.com: Books It comes more from a victims POV, but you can easily see it from the other side. And Guilt... Let me know how you get on, MartinM.
From personal experience, I would suggest that guilt is inappropriate if the caretaker was at all diligent in performing the role. Someone who requires caretaking for a period of eight years is arguably in a better place after passing away, and I don't believe that recognizing this is any reason to feel guilt. Suggested reading: https://www.amazon.com/When-Things-Happen-Good-People/dp/1400034728
That is true, though people oftentimes still feel guilty. In this case, though, I'm coming at it from the perspective of the caretaker themselves, whereby they're not relieved that the person is in a better place, but that their own stress is over because the person died.
Also, I guess what I was really looking for was ways that this guilt would be pervasive, and help make the character who they are, acting as their fatal flaw. Maybe this person feels like they're a bad person for feeling relieved that their caretakee is dead, so they deserve to be alone. Or maybe they fear stepping up and being a leader, because the last time they took responsibility for someone, they couldn't handle the stress, and was relieved when they died. Not really sure. I think it's a guilt that many can empathize with, as I've felt it, and I've known others who have, and I think it could be something that really helps shape who a character is. I'm just trying to find ideas for how specifically this could lead to the character's "fatal flaw."
I had an aunt that cared for a daughter with muscular dystrophy until my cousin was in her 60's. She was a stalwart and refused to listen to anyone that suggested she let hospice take over her care. With her being remarried, the dedication to my cousin placed an enormous strain on her relationship and she was forced to choose between her marriage and her daughter. Ultimately, she chose my cousin, and they divorced. She spent every penny they had to retrofit the home and I think there was personal guilt on the life she (and others) could have had if she didn't have that cross to bear. I also think there were times, especially when June's condition had advanced to the point where even simple things like eating and breathing were a challenge, where she was ready to throw in the towel. She had dedication, but i'm sure it got to be too much. I could see her being the type that was co-dependent and feeling like she'd lost control of the one thing that gave her purpose in life. I think afterwards there was just a gaping hole that she had to resent.
Feeling relief is part of a healthy psychology for the caretaker. It is normal and expected. It is hard to watch someone suffer day in and day out, their independence taken, most likely in physical pain, with very little quality of life. Once their suffering is over, the caretaker feels relief that the person with the disability/disease finally has their relief. Rather than guilt, what the caretaker will take with them as a result of their experience is empathy, a far more suitable trait for a superhero.
That's a good point, but I was also leaning towards someone dying that wasn't necessarily suffering day in and day out. I'm thinking someone who can't keep up with their high-energy dog, for example. Dog needs stimulation that the owner can't provide, so they bark and bark and bark, causing the owner to feel overwhelmed and stressed all the time. Dog gets sick and dies, and the owner feels relieved, finally enjoying the quiet and peace. I'm looking for a negative trait, something that is truly a flaw, and is something that makes the character feel guilt and like they don't deserve to be happy. This example is what I'm leaning towards right now. A superhero whose sidekick, his dog, died, and he felt relief because of the aforementioned factors. This makes him feel guilty, and because of this, he will only work alone. He's lonely, but fears being responsible for someone again.
Understood. And if they were even minimally diligent in their role of caretaker, being relieved that it's over is still no reason to feel guilt. I don't doubt that some people might feel guilt in such a situation, but IMHO those are people who spend their lives looking for excuses to feel guilt about anything and everything. It's not a sane or a healthy reaction. You're the author. Make up whatever you want. Just realize that, because it's a character flaw, it (the something) can't "make" the person feel guilt. However, the person can choose to feel guilt over the something.
People who feel they don't deserve to be happy usually have low self-esteem and self-worth. It'll be tricky making him into a superhero. I suggest you manufacture trauma in his childhood.
