Quite honestly, I'm not sure if this should be in Character Development, or General Writing, so I put it in the thread I thought it belonged in since this is a character problem instead of a general writing problem. Anyways, on to my point. For the last few years, I've been working on a story that's been my main focus. Originally, it started out as a three piece series, but has been condensed into one book (there is still a possibility of a second book but it feels strained and forced to me like I have to answer questions left open from the first). Like I said though, the book isn't my problem per say, it's the characters in it. For the past year the characters have been my main focus. I've spent time with them and developed them to the best of my ability, and I found that the characters were becoming something I had not originally planned on. Which kind of throws a wrench into the mix when it comes to the story. The story is basically about a princess rebelling against her father and taking the throne from him. She has help along the way from a number of parties (which include several races). Originally, when the story was weak and kind of all over the place, there was no problem with having these races in there (and I had everything just about). Now however, I'm starting to wonder if the races actually fit into the story. Especially in terms of the characters. Let me explain the characters and it might help others understand my problem. The Princess: the princess, originally, is the daughter of the Devil. Now, society and beliefs dictate that the Devil is a being a malice and deciete that only lives to trick us into commiting sin, and make our lives misrable. My princess however, is nothing like her father. Quite frankly, she probably wouldn't even pass as being a person of malice and trickery. She is a little stuck up when the story begins, thinking she is the most important in all of the world, she is better then everyone else, and that everyone owes her something, etc etc. However, as the story progresses and she starts to see the truth that she's been blind to for so many years, she starts to change and become someone else, and by the end of the story her main reason for taking the throne from her father is to stop the pain and suffering he's caused on others. To me, that doesn't sound like something a demon (since the Devil is considered the King of Demons) would do. Which brings me to my next character problem. My Demon Bodyguard: Seth, as he's named for now, is a demon much like the Princess, and he's a very strong and high ranking demon at that. Aside from having split personalities, he's definitely not what people would envision for a demon. He's oddly loyal and puts his duties above all else. In order to climb in the ranks he believes in hard work and proving yourself the most worthy. In fact, if it wasn't for his alter ego, he probably wouldn't classify as a demon at all. The way his character developed just doesn't suit the race he was originally intended to be. He just isn't a true demon to me (or frankly, to the friends who read about him). So here's what I'm asking advice on: should I consider changing the race of my characters? The plot/conflicts of the story can work no matter what race they are (with some reworking of course), but when originally writing the story, and when the idea was first thought up, the characters were created as the race they now are. So yeah, should I change my demons into another race to try and overcome this problem of them not suiting the expectations of the race? I've tried to find every way around their personalities that I can, and came up empty. Which is why I'm asking for advice. Any suggestions? Please? Thanks in advance for any responses!
Here's what I think. DISCLAIMER, I could be completely wrong! haha. Since you are the author, you're creating the world they're living in. You make the rules. As for the princess being nice in the end, just because she's a demon doesn't mean she has to be evil. I think it's good that she's stuck up and kind of not so nice in the start. It shows, she was bad, but, like with many stories, her eyes are opened to reality. It's the growth(?) of the character. So, I think the princess role is completely fine. The demon bodyguard, depending on how high of his rank, could be good or bad. Since he's not a lower rank, it'd make sense if he weren't as serious. As he progressed through the ranks, he could have gained a sense of self-worth, thinking he's better than the rest of the demons. With the split-personalities, you could accommodate this, without having to completely destroy the personality you've set for him. BUT, if he's loyal and puts his duties above all else, would he be loyal to the princess as her bodyguard, or to the Devil as his subordinate? If you throw in a few outbursts every now and then of him slipping into the second personality (If it's a stereo-typical demon. Mean, destructive, ect.) you'd be A-OK. I don't think a race change is needed. Hope I helped!
Sorry if this isn't obvious, but from your explanation, there doesn't seem to be any difference from a human and a demon. Y'know, besides the obvious horns and a tail and living in Hell. Couldn't you just change the story to be about humans? Or, even simpler, make just the daughter of the devil a human or maybe half-human.
I've considered turning them into humans considering they just don't seem to want to work out as demons. Originially, the princess being half-blooded is part of the fuel for why she has to fight her father for the throne. She's not half-human, but she is a half-demon so to say (the other part of her heritage is later revealed to be that of a vampire). I ended up changing that though because it just felt too far fetched and thrown out there, which is why I started to refine the story and work on pulling it in to a more believable piece. As for Seth, he's not exactly fully developed in my mind, and doesn't make much of a transition in the story. He's pretty much stuck and remains the same. Seth's loyalty has always been to the Devil, but mostly because Seth realized as a child that if he served the Devil's whim and did everything he was supposed to do, he would never have to face the Devil's wrath (I'm not sure if its going to be revealed in the story, but as a child Seth's clan of demons was destroyed by the Devil's tyrany because they shamed the Devil. One of the demons sent to destroy the clan spared Seth and told him that if he proved himself loyal to the Devil, and worked his way up, he would never have to fear being part of the Devil's wrath ever again). However, in the story, Seth is betrayed by the Devil which causes him to switch his loyalty to another party, then in time become loyal to the very Princess he vowed to protect. I haven't added much about his alter personality, and it showing through to the story, because Seth quite honestly hasn't been in my focus. There are a few times when he does switch between the two personalities, but his other personality is aware of Seth, where Seth isn't aware of him, so the alter personality knows how to act like Seth and keep people from realizing there is someone else there who's a bigger threat. Anyways, that being said... I'm still not sure what I'm going to do about these characters. I've gotten so used to the idea of them being demons that I feel like I have to make them live up to the belief of demons, but at the same time, I'm kinda liking the way the characters developed into who they are in the story, even if the demon belief doesn't fit to them anymore.
