Character Bar (Explicit, 18+)

Amy: Hey, my friends and I aren't even remotely psycho! I've been reading about serial killers ever since I realized that I was one myself, and the three of us are sociopaths, not psychopaths. Psychopaths have no empathy to begin with, sociopaths are just more selective about who to give it to.

Alec: Yeah, you try to get a psychopath into a group like the Mafia who care about loyalty, he ain't gonna last long. They want you to empathize with the others, and they take it very very personally when you don't. "Just business, nothing personal" is for guys who get used by the Mafia, they ain't inviting nobody who can't be trusted to watch their Family's backs. The Family comes first, and the other four Families come second; you ain't in one of the Families, then fuggedaboutit.

 

Agnethe: *scoffs* That's not empathy - it's a cycle of mutual enablement. Trust me, when you grow up around human trafficking, one thing becomes clear really quick - they don't care about you, and they don't care about each other. They care about working together to get away with whatever their sick minds tell them to do. That's why I'm a sociopathic COP - I've seen too much of them up close. And you all better be really glad I don't have jurisdiction in here.

 

Charlie: Our favorite game to play with people who fuck with us is "Count to 206."

Alec: Yeah, we be like "I'mma count to 206. 1," cut the end of the trigger finger off.

Amy: "2," cut the middle of the finger off.

Alec: "3," cut the bottom of the finger off, you ain't even gonna run outta fingers until you get to – what, two in the two thumbs, three in the eight others –

Charlie: 28.

Alec: Thanks, boss. 28 bones later –

Charlie: Seriously?

Amy: Oh, come on, you walked right into that. Anyway, once you get started on 29, you start working on the toes next, that gets you another 28 for a grand total of 56. You can't really break his individual hand and foot bones one at a time, but you can still smash him with a hammer once for each bone, and then you keep going from the outer extremities in towards to the torso, then up the spinal cord to the skull.

Charlie: Of course, sometimes it turns out we had the wrong guy.

Amy: Yeah, that's always embarrassing.

Alec: There's people like that, there's people that's not. Me, Amy, and Charlie ain't just willing to kill with each other for "mutual enablement," we'd be willing to die for each other because we give a shit about each other and how much we've been through together.

Charlie: But we'd sooner kill for each other.

Amy: Yeah, much sooner. Die for each other's plan B, kill for each other's plan A.

Alec: And you better be glad we ain't learned magic yet.

Amy: Let's see, Alec will be learning Air, Fire, Water, Lightning, and Ice, and Lightning is also good for conjuring illusions; Charlie will be learning Earth, Water, and Crystal, which is also good for healing; and I'll be learning Earth, Fire, and Metal, which is also good for strength.

Alec: You got any magic in your world? Which of us you think you'd be able to take?

 

Anna: So I've been gone for a while guys, I hear there was some cool mace action here, which sounds fun as hell, shame I missed it.

 

Charlie: Amy, I will play Civilization with you for 2 hours if you don't start with this again.

Amy: No promises, boss.

Charlie: Why did you just call me "boss" if you're saying you're not going to do what I asked?

Amy: Because you can't tell me not to.

Charlie: ...

 

"Hello my rowdy friends!"

"Hey, barkeep, seems I need a place for my bag full of goodies.
Perhaps a weapons and or other dangerous objects check is
in order?"

(Sits at the bar, orders a pint. Open to conversations, and what not.)

 

Agnethe: Alec, you lie to your friends, I'll lie to mine. I'm pretty sure Amy there has a Plan C that involves flaying both of you alive and wearing your skin like a fur coat. I know the high-grade predators when I see them - and that one *points at Amy* is textbook.

Sound about right, Amy? I KNOW you've had fantasies, right? I have them too, remember? It would feel so good crawling inside Alec there, wouldn't it? Maybe while he's still warm?

Oh, and have fun with your magic unicorn shit. Like I said, the only monster I know is me.

*Rossweisse enters the bar*

Rossweisse: Well that's enough babysitting for one...oh crap, you're talking about Agnethe'a backstory. You NOT want to go in there if you're scared of the dark. She even scares Lemming.

 

Amy: OK that's it!

Charlie: No, no, no it isn't. This isn't anything –

Amy: Let me tell you something, "sociopath." I'm Chaotic Evil, I don't like being told what to do. When a Chaotic Evil serial killer has people she loves and would rather die than see anything happen to, and if you try to force her to hurt them, you're getting hurt. If you're a psychopath who calls himself a sociopath and who thinks that makes every alleged sociopath secretly a psychopath, that's your problem. I don't have time for that kind of bullshit. I'm a thrill killer, not a lust killer, and my friends and brother are perfectly safe from me and off-limits to anybody else. We clear?

 

Anna: If mace isn't your thing how 'bout a battleaxe or katana? I know a guy who's into ancient weaponry, I could give him a call.

 

"I could not help but overhear that little spat.
If you should like, I could call in a friend for as
a favor to settle the matter of them getting out
of hand. Keep your hands clean and clear of
such a messy affair."

(Sets communication device on the bar next to pint glass.)

 

Amy: Oh, I love maces, and I love flails AKA chain maces. I just don't like it when people use the wrong name to refer to the wrong thing. I'm not 100 percent Chaotic, I'm like ninety, ninety-five percent: if people want to talk about something, then they should have to learn what the words mean that they're using. Though I'd also rather use two one-handed weapons like trench knives or hatchets than a single two-handed like a katana. Do you have any one-handed axes like the Francisca? Though I could be tempted by a double-ended polearm like the Jägerstock, Lajatang, or the Shaolin Spade. Do you have any of those that I could start training for?

 

Agnethe: Your friend sounds like my type.

 

Agnethe: *fingering gun on her hip* Don't be silly. I don't think every alleged sociopath is secretly 100% gone. Just you.

 

Amy: Yeah, well I started out with serial murder to help with my PTSD, and later on I found that group sessions and anti-anxiety medication were more effective at keeping the nightmares away. That sound like someone who can't connect, or like someone who generally doesn't bother but who could still connect if she wanted to?

 

Agnethe: *laughing* Oh I get it, you're better now and you can stop any time you want. Remind me never to introduce you to heroin.

 

Anna: I'll give a call to my guy, he's resourceful. I'm sure I can get you at least one or two of the things you want

 

Amy: Now why the fuck would I want to? You saying I'm not a sociopath either, that I'm a Chaotic Neutral or Good person who's been forced to do evil against her will?

Sorry, bitch, that's not how Chaotic works. Violence used to be fun and therapeutic for me, and now that I've found better therapy, violence is just fun.

Sure, thanks!

 

Agnethe: Oh no, I definitely think you're the real thing, honey.

Hey Alec, do you have a pocket knife handy? I've got some cool trust building exercises that I think your sister here is going to LOVE. Just put a nice red cut on your palm and see how long it takes her to start twitching.

Oh, and I bet your parents told you the hamster just ran away, didn't they? We dont talk about what Amy did to Mr. Fluffypants, do we?

 

Amy: My brother's name is Jason, and I didn't tell him about the chatrooms because he doesn't find out that my two best friends and I are bad guys, you got it?

Alec: Oh, and if Amy and I had been brother and sister with a hamster, I'd have told Mom and Dad that Mr. Fluffypants "just ran away."

 

Agnethe: Aww, Alec - aren't you a cute little chew toy. I know you would have covered for her. So loyal. That, and you get off on this shit anyway.

Hell, you'll probably enjoy it when she kills you. You're perfect for each other!

 

Corlixia; Zlada what are we doing here exactly?

Zlada Volkov: Simply my friend, we are here to get drunk,
and maybe get into a little trouble.

Corlixia: Hmm...What do you mean by trouble?

Zlada Volkov: You wait and see, Cor. Hello, my friend and I
would like to turn over our weapons for safe keeping. (Hefting
large custom precision rifle slung about her shoulders.) Wouldn't
want myself or my friend to get to heated, you know? It is a nice
place you have here. My friend and I would like a bottle of your
finest Vodka and two glasses, please.

Corlixia: Yes ma'am, I will follow your lead.

Zlada Volkov: Good girl! Now lets find the toughest one in here,
and start a party. (Winks at the pale pretty blue Corporal) If someone
wants to tussle, then we shall make it a fair one.