I hope the title is not misleading, anyway, the problem that I have (Or think I have) is the main character changing from a person into something of a beast. How can I slowly show what is happening without it being too sudden. How many words would you use for the character realizing what is happening? What would make it seem gradient? For me it feels like it is too fast. The MC returned from the expedition that had this effect on him, left home to resign being an assassin, went to a restaurant and realized that he was hungry for the blood of the waiter. He then Screamed with the strange realization and I am still writing it.
I think you are trying to have too much happen in too short of a time period. Instead of immediately jumping to the MC going to a restaurant and wanting to eat the waiter, how about have him order a steak. Once it arrives he feels it is overcooked so he reorders it rare. Later one he is walking home and his senses are suddenly sharper. Noises seem louder, the light seems brighter, he can smell lots of different things he didn't notice before. For more inspiration, try watching one of the A Werewolf in {X City of the moment} films.
That would have to depend on how you write about the expedition. If you prepared the reader for something strange in the scene of the expedition when something happens and changes your MC, that would be good. Then maybe spend some time exploring how your MC feels, how he sees things differently etc (something minor, like suddenly he hates the sun or something - like it's "too bright" or whatever). Have the readers start guessing what's wrong with him or what's changed. And then do the scene you mentioned with the waiter. That way it's not a surprise but a climatic twist.
Wow, overcooked sounds good... Thanks for the great idea! He does not become a vampire, but probably you are right. I should space things out more. Anyway, he decided to leave his home (And his assassination career) and disappear. He cannot return. Thanks for the replies.
The formation & maintenance of the identity is a life-long process, & extensive experimentation has demonstrated the overt humanity proclivity for preserving one's identity, at sometimes ridiculous costs. Which is to say that a significant change of the personally &/or self-conception would generally come with much stubborn & painful resistance, denial, anger & other miscellaneous defense mechanisms. So, as long as you include that, it should be more than sufficient to explain the change. But if your character is suddenly like "Omg, I'm a cannibal?!?!" & then seamlessly accepts it, readers/psych majors like myself might have a problem. Otherwise it's quite interesting. Good luck.
