Hi everyone. I'm writing a coming-of-age nautical fiction narrative, and in the story the lead character develops a crush on one of the primary supporting characters. Unfortunately, nothing ever comes of this, as the supporting character sees the protagonist as nothing more than a friend, and the supporting character is also tragically killed. Now, what I'd like to do is to add a little "will-they-or-won't-they" tension. The way I'd like to do this is I want the supporting character to do or say something that the lead will find very attractive or intriguing. In turn, this will make the lead realize his crush on the supporting character. The thing is, I'm not sure what this should be. So, how should I go about creating THAT kind of tension?
Anything can be turned into flirting. Any kind of normal situation or conversation. It's about pauses and inflections, hidden meanings, and the way people react to them. Example: "No, that's not how you slice a turkey." He stepped up behind her, reached around and took the carving knife, while she still held it. She started to let go and withdraw her hand, but he squeezed slightly. She left her hand half-gripping the knife, soft within his grasp. His left hand came around the other side and took the big two-tined carving fork. This time she didn't try to withdraw her own hand. For a moment they stood like that, the girl clearly not sure exactly what was going on, or whether she liked it. "Hold it gently." He pressed the fork down a little into the plump breast of the bird. "And slice back and forth. Gently." She glanced toward his face and then back to the knife, sliding through the soft white meat. Her tongue touched her upper lip, and then she was moving with him. Look into writing subtext—flirting is a form of it. Here's a video:
You say it's nautical - are they on a ship? Is it present day? What are they normally doing when they are spending time together? For young teens, sometimes a smile is enough to ignite a crush!
Yeah, I wrote a pretty blatant flirting scene, but it can definitely be much more subtle with no touching, just talk and significant glances/pauses/acceptance or refusal of a subtle gesture implied through body language etc, by what's said, how it's said, or sometimes what isn't said that probably should have been. It's a game of hidden meanings that we sometimes play knowingly, sometimes unknowingly.
Well, the setting is the Upper Lakes, and the time period is late 1975. Yes, it's on a ship, specifically an ore-carrying vessel. The lead character is nineteen years old. The supporting character that he likes is twenty-two. The lead character spends a lot of time dodging his responsibilities so he can watch the supporting character at work (lead character is the assistant steward, supporting character is an able seaman). They also spend some time conversing on the deck of the vessel at midnight when no one else is around. The supporting character, I should note, is already in a relationship with someone else and likely has no idea about how the lead character feels, although he may or may not sense that there's an inkling of something going on with his friend.
By the Upper Lakes, you mean the Great Lakes, and Lake Superior specifically? Ooh, then your story takes place one year before the Edmund Fitzgerald sank on Lake Superior in 1976. Lol, I had the privilege of drinking with sailors working the boats on the Great Lakes, back in the 1970s. Nice, laid-back people. A lot of them from the East Coast. Being on a boat is a fairly romantic place, especially if they're on deck, conversing, with the night sky above them and water all around. There's a certain separation from the world. It might be difficult to show tension between them if she has no interest in him. There's different ways to go, depending on his personality. One way is to show him making a fool of himself, for comedic effect. Some of the things you might consider: is he outgoing, or shy? How cute do you want to make his behavior? Does she lead him on? Does she lean on him in a platonic way and he takes it the wrong way? Maybe that's the way to go - they make a connection, but he misconstrues it.
Yes, this was inspired by and based on the 1975 S. S. Edmund Fitzgerald incident, except this will have a more hopeful ending. I'm happy you noticed that. A great deal of research has been done by me, even going as far as to make a trip to Lake Superior itself to get a sense of what it is like (I liked it a lot and I wish to return. I do live very close to one of the Lower Lakes but I definitely prefer Superior.) As for the setting of the deck of a boat in the evening, yes, that is why I chose it. Before I get into this, I will now begin to refer to my Lead Character as "Pierre" and the Supporting Character as "Leonard", just for clarity and simplicity. Now, Pierre is a sort of very shy, anxious type who needs to psych himself up every time he wants to talk to Leonard, or anyone for that matter. Pierre is often quite nervous around Leonard without knowing why, but he knows it is not the typical achy, sickly kind of nervousness, he knows that it feels different, even good whenever he's around this man and he gets those butterflies in his stomach, feels his heart skip a beat. Pierre does act a bit like a lovestruck schoolgirl without even realizing it, although he will also act (somewhat unknowingly) as if he is trying to seduce Leonard (e.g. breathy, husky talk, heavy-lidded 'bedroom eyes') after he realizes he has a crush on the man. Pierre knows it won't go anywhere, but he does it anyway, and Leonard either doesn't notice or is unnerved and pretends to not notice. The midnight conversation would be when Leonard does or says THE THING that gives Pierre the vapors. It hits him like a bolt from the blue and he's momentarily awestruck, because he's experiencing attraction or lust for the very first time in his life and he doesn't know how to deal with it because it's so foreign, but at the same time indescribably wondrous-- and, all at the same time, at least in his eyes, it's all wrong. One could even say that whatever Leonard does inadvertently causes Pierre's sexual awakening. So, yes, that is how it is. I've got a little bit of it figured out but not quite. *yes, Lead Character / Pierre is gay. Supporting Character / Leonard is decidedly straight.
This brings a whole other set of sensitivities to the story. Gay teenagers crushing on unavailable straight guys can be soul-crushing for the teenager concerned. Has he been taught that his desires are shameful? (This is 1975) Does he keep his feelings in check? As his infatuation develops, he's going to have a lot of feelings of confusion. Will the confusion be conflicting or joyful? Will he share his feelings with Leonard? Is Leonard the one who will help him embrace his confused feelings? That would make for a poignant story. One way to go is for Leonard to open up to Pierre, sharing a very intimate part of himself, in his mind as one friend to another, under the stars, but for Pierre it's a soul connection.
I have found a very interesting article that informs your story. It's a long letter from a twenty-one-year old gay man about his feelings revolving around an unrequited love for an older straight man, and then a very thoughtful reply from the columnist. How to be human: when you fall in love with the very unavailable
Nothing is ever explicitly stated, but it is written early on that Pierre's mother is Roman Catholic and Pierre was ostensibly raised in the faith, so given this aspect as well as the time period, it is not unlikely that he might have been taught that those inclinations are impermissible. Pierre would likely have a difficult time keeping his feelings in control. He is the kind of person who will easily let his emotions rule over him completely, perhaps resulting in him behaving strangely or worse, allowing those unchecked feelings to run wild and eventually break him. Initially, it may manifest in him acting rather peculiarly, but as it becomes clear that he will never have a chance with Leonard, he lets it destroy him. I think as for the confusion, he's probably experiencing "conflicting" and "joyful" at the same time. On one hand he feels more happier than he has ever been in years, he feels as if he has been brought back from the dead (Context: Pierre had struggled with severe depression for most of his child, teen, and young adult years). He even finds himself thinking that he would be willing t0 go-for-broke and lose everything if it meant he could be with the person he loves. On the other hand, he's distraught, hell, he's terrified. He's worried about what his mother would think. He's worried, terrified about what his fellow crewmembers would think if it somehow got out, especially considering there's an older crewmember on the ship who frequently verbally and psychologically (sometimes physically) abuses Pierre for reasons that are unknown (to Pierre at least), which poses a danger. I don't think Pierre will ever tell Leonard about his feelings. He's fearful about how he will react and he does not want to lose his friend, worst comes to worst. I do like the idea about him confessing his feelings and Leonard sort of helping him to analyze them. I'll keep it in mind. (I have experimented with an alternate ending where Pierre unintentionally reveals his feelings to Leonard after having a few drinks at suppertime. Leonard reacts in shock and disbelief but he is not disturbed or horrified. Once Pierre realizes what he did, he is so overcome with shame and guilt that he cuts off Leonard entirely, spending the rest of his days wallowing in his sorrow.) As for the last paragraph, I do like this idea and I think it could work. Pierre might see it as Leonard leading him on, when he's really not.
There are several ways you can go with the tone of the story. Will there be a happy ending for Pierre? From what you have written here, it sounds like there will not be a happy ending for him. Have you sketched out a character arc for him? I'm not sure about a drunken confession. It might be better to show Pierre grappling with his feelings, and in the end deciding to be raw and honest. And I don't think Leonard would be shocked. Does he like Pierre? Then he may react as a friend would.
I never wanted a happy ending for this story because I don't really believe in happy endings. My intention was to write a more tragic coming-of-age story. Ideally, this will end on a bleak note but maybe with a tiny glimmer of hope. Pierre starts off as a naive, terrified teenager who enters into the real world, has a taste of freedom, independence, and first love, only for it all to fall apart as quickly as it came together for him, and by the end he has returned back to being the frightened, broken child he was before. As for this, I am still not leaning towards Pierre ever confessing. This was an idea that I had toyed with quite briefly a couple of months ago but I brought it up anyways. Yes, he does like Pierre, originally it was a sort of pity friendship but then it became real. Perhaps I worded it in an obtuse manner, but what I meant is that Leonard would react in a surprised manner, but he would not react negatively (e.g. with disgust), but it is still a great deal for him to process at first and he doesn't feel any different about Pierre in the end. However, when he tries to talk to Pierre later on, Pierre has pretty much shut him out.
His experiences don't change him? They don't impact on him in any way, make him grow as a person? He doesn't develop any self-acceptance or courage? From what you have described here, it sounds like your story is character-driven (rather than plot-driven) and for readers to invest in a character-driven story, the characters should be dynamic, that is - they change throughout the story. There is a good thread on this forum - "Do characters need to change?" You might like to have a look at it as you develop Pierre's character arc. https://www.writingforums.org/threads/do-characters-need-to-change.173697/
It is more like he gets worse. He finds himself completely heartbroken and he leaves the profession. He ends up depressed and spending most of his time wallowing in shame and sorrow. It is a tragedy of sorts, although it ends not with a bang but with a whimper. In earlier versions of the story I'd say there was a more prominent character arc, but I keep switching things around. So yes, he does change, but for the worse.
You may find this helpful. One of the first steps in the Snowflake Method of outlining a story is to develop a main character summary. When writing this summary, consider the following points: A one-sentence summary of the character’s storyline. The character’s motivation (what does he/she want abstractly?). The character’s goal (what does he/she want concretely?). The character’s conflict (what prevents him/her from reaching this goal?). The character’s epiphany (what will he/she learn, how will he/she change?) A one-paragraph summary of the character’s storyline.
