1. MWB

    MWB Active Member Contest Winner 2023

    Joined:
    May 3, 2020
    Messages:
    157
    Likes Received:
    225

    Describing a certain sound

    Discussion in 'Word Mechanics' started by MWB, Aug 31, 2020.

    I am trying to describe a certain sound textually and I feel like I'm fumbling for the right words...any suggestions?

    The sound: If one's hand were resting on a hard surface with a small marble held between the thumb and index finger and the marble were raised a half inch or so off the surface and dropped, with a slight repetitive bouncing sound as it comes to rest.

    Below is the context I'm using it in;

    “It’s a-“ as he was about to describe the sound he had been hearing for weeks now he heard it again, clearly, and he saw Sam’s eyes glance reflexively up at the ceiling and he knew she heard it too as the other kids stopped chattering to focus on their conversation. He looked up at the ceiling and then at Samantha, “You heard that didn’t you?” The stack of cards lay still in his hand as he waited for an answer.

    “Yea, I did,” she said, “What is it?”

    “I don’t know. I’ve been hearing it for a while now, not very often but I heard it twice while we were sitting here playing cards. It sounds to me like a little marble or something being dropped on the ceiling.”
     
    Last edited: Sep 2, 2020
    Kyle Phoenix likes this.
  2. Homer Potvin

    Homer Potvin A tombstone hand and a graveyard mind Staff Supporter Contributor

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2017
    Messages:
    13,406
    Likes Received:
    21,398
    Location:
    Rhode Island
    A ceramic knocking, like rock on rock.

    ???
     
    MWB likes this.
  3. Friedrich Kugelschreiber

    Friedrich Kugelschreiber marshmallow Contributor

    Joined:
    May 8, 2017
    Messages:
    4,814
    Likes Received:
    6,043
    It's sort of a skittering sound, isn't it? Like a really fast echo with multiple repeats.
     
    r.ross and MWB like this.
  4. MWB

    MWB Active Member Contest Winner 2023

    Joined:
    May 3, 2020
    Messages:
    157
    Likes Received:
    225
    Yes...exactly like the sound in this video...how would one describe it?

     
  5. SethLoki

    SethLoki Retired Autodidact Contributor

    Joined:
    Jan 1, 2011
    Messages:
    1,567
    Likes Received:
    1,655
    Location:
    Manchester UK
    ...fast decaying clacks
     
    jim onion, MWB and Naomasa298 like this.
  6. N.Scott

    N.Scott Active Member

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2019
    Messages:
    122
    Likes Received:
    118
    Like someone playing dice in an empty bathtub?
    ETA: Or bead?
     
    Last edited: Sep 6, 2020
    MWB likes this.
  7. MWB

    MWB Active Member Contest Winner 2023

    Joined:
    May 3, 2020
    Messages:
    157
    Likes Received:
    225
    I like 'bead'....I've always been stuck on using "B.B." for an alternative to marble and not happy with it...bead is better than B.B.

    “I don’t know. I’ve been hearing it for a while now, not very often but I heard it twice while we were sitting here playing cards. It sounds to me like a little bead or something being dropped on the ceiling.”

    or change the surface?

    "...It's like a hand dropping a bead on the table."

    meh...
     
  8. r.ross

    r.ross Member

    Joined:
    Sep 18, 2020
    Messages:
    124
    Likes Received:
    52
    A hard clatter that reverberates? Like someone loudly chattering their teeth?
     
    MWB likes this.
  9. JuliaBrune

    JuliaBrune Member

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2020
    Messages:
    39
    Likes Received:
    41
    Location:
    Lyon, France
    The pattern of the sound is an exponential decay, so I would use the word "decay" in the description to describe it but that might not fit your style :|

    Edit : Oups I missed SethLoki's answer ^^
     
    MWB likes this.
  10. MWB

    MWB Active Member Contest Winner 2023

    Joined:
    May 3, 2020
    Messages:
    157
    Likes Received:
    225
    For lack of a better first draft choice, this is what I went with...

     
  11. Friedrich Kugelschreiber

    Friedrich Kugelschreiber marshmallow Contributor

    Joined:
    May 8, 2017
    Messages:
    4,814
    Likes Received:
    6,043
    It's a difficult sound to describe. Depending on context, I think this sounds really nice.
     
    Last edited: Sep 25, 2020
    MWB likes this.
  12. OurJud

    OurJud Contributor Contributor

    Joined:
    May 21, 2009
    Messages:
    9,503
    Likes Received:
    9,764
    Location:
    England
    I'm struggling to understand why you can't just use 'like a marble being dropped'. I think if most people heard this they would probably recognise it exactly for what it was.

    Again, though, it's not something the reader is going to dwell on. It's a one-line description and as long as they 'hear' it from your description, that's all that's required. Maybe add '... on a tiled floor' for clarity.

    The description in your OP is just fine.
     
    Last edited: Sep 22, 2020
    Friedrich Kugelschreiber and MWB like this.
  13. alpacinoutd

    alpacinoutd Senior Member

    Joined:
    Apr 4, 2020
    Messages:
    316
    Likes Received:
    104
    I don't if this is helpful but maybe you can consider something along the lines of this:

    Like someone drumming his fingers impatiently on a porcelain sink.

    I know it's too wordy and doesn't have that bouncing element in it explicitly but maybe you can work on it.
     
    MWB likes this.

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice