So, i want to write it like this.... "You don't have a sense of humor, do you." But that's wrong. If I write it correctly... "You don't have a sense of humor, do you?" ...it could go from telling you that you have no sense of humor to asking you if you have one, which is confusing. Thinking about this is fr ruining my sense of humor!!! UUgghhhh..
Well, you asking or telling? "You don't have a sense of humor." Is declaratory. "You don't have a sense of humor, do you?" Is interrogatory. That's a straightforward as it gets unless you're trying to make some tricksy turn of phrase.
This may be one of those rare cases where using italics for emphasis can make a difference - "You don't have a sense of humor, do you?" Or possibly the good old "interobang" -- "You don't have a sense of humor, do you?!", but I prefer the italics.
I think both of your examples work, and get basically the same idea across. The difference is that with a period it feels a bit flatter—more straightforward and maybe slightly rude, and with a question mark it sounds a little softer and nicer. You can imagine the voice rising slightly at the end, which feels like letting off a bit of the pressure and intensity the first version implies. Basically your first version is without humor, the second one has some, and the humor is a bit of a softening or leavening element.
If you want to heighten the humour, the second character can reply, "You think I don't have a sense of humour?!" Answering one rhetorical question with another.
Trust the context, trust the reader. I would personally go with your second example because a rhetorical question is still a question in the end.
I would use a character reaction to whatever provoked this line to indicate the intent. He shook his head slightly, smiling from the corner of his mouth. "You don't have a sense of humor, do you?" She sighed, feigning exasperation. "You don't have a sense of humor, do you?"
Very true. What provoked this reaction? Let's say someone played a prank on you, but it's gone wrong and you're feeling hurt. If the prankster says "You don't have a sense of humor, do you?" ... you would, justifiably, keep your distance. On the other hand, let's say you're at work, and it's busy and tense, and you've just told a work colleague a dad joke or a pun to relieve the tension ... and he smiles, but says "You don't have a sense of humor, do you?" ... well, it's only a dad joke. So what? At least you broke the tension. It's OK.
You guys are all so wonderful. I love writing, but it's a skill one has to develop. You make the learning process fun! Thank you so much!! Trev-
I don't know if this is technically correct, but I've seen it plenty in books, and I use it myself. I write "said" after a question mark on occasion to show that it was meant as more of a statement than a question, e.g. “Yes?” I said, curious as to why she hadn’t continued already. or “And leave me in the dark?” I said. “No. I need to know what happened." In my opinion, depending on how it sounds with the cadence of the passage, you can use a "said" tag instead of "asked" to establish a rhetorical feel: "You don't have a sense of humor, do you?" he said.
Another way to approach the same thing, using a beat rather than a dialogue tag: "You don't have a sense of humor, do you." It wasn't a question, it was an indictment of my character.
