Majority of my scenes takes place in a prison. The MC stops a rape from happening to his only friend in the shower. Basically, some inmates paid off some prison guards, to ravage the MC only friend. Also, put the MC in a situation, where he is forced to act to save his friend. The scene is suppose to express the dark, sinister world of prison life. I'm debating to take this scene out or not, asking myself how it's irrelevant to the story. My fiancee mentioned rape in the shower is well, too common, aka; trope or cliche. I have a two characters who are sorta helping each other out with previous events that landed them in prison in the first place. The justification I wanted for the scene, build the characters trust, and watching each other's six. Well, first part of the plot, is the MC going through the screening process, similar to booking, court etc. I feel like I'm holding the reader's hand and taking them through boring 'prison orientation process'. I don't want the pace be too fast, obviously going through a prison screening process, but I wanted to create some tension, and release for the reader.
My first thought is "Where does the money come from?" Do they have outside family who funnel the digits over? The way you described it here, it sounds like the guards are doing the violating, why does it have to be them? Nothing wrong with that per se, but it makes for a whole lot more (narrative) wiggling in order to make it convincing. Also, what are the reprocussions of breaking it up? If the guards are in on it, our hero may be up for a hard time. The topic is a really tense one, so it's a really good way to bring them closer together. You don't walk away from something like that without some mental trauma. While I haven't read/watched many prison works, I've never seen this handeled in a mature manner. Mostly it's used for a cheap laugh, in my experience.
Well, MC friend disrespected one of the guards, earlier during the screening process and he sent his regards for disrespect. I don't go into detail how convicts paying off guards, just a small dialogue of negotiating on time and price. The MC and his friend are basically being set to be executed, guided to another section of the prison for death row inmates. The reason for the guards, they escort them during their shower time where they hold back MC friend as they all leave. Thus, MC sneaks back and saves his friend from being raped. So, ones sent to death row, no one really cares what happens to them in a sense. It's a small cash hustle a few guards make on the side. I watched some prison documentary, convicts will basically give guards a hard time, prey on any weakness, indirectly make them corrupted in a sense. Even going so far, on the outside, convicts buddies will harass or threaten their family of the guards. Over time, guards and convicts see each other so much, becomes a mutual bond among each other.
What year does your story take place, and in what country is your prison located? Prison culture has evolved dramatically over time, and it varies from nation to nation. In bigger countries like the U.S. it varies from region to region.
A better thing to ask instead of is the scene relevant, because if you haven't show these traits in your character before now then it is an important scene, is if the rape is necessary. Could you have the same effect of showing character loyalty with a different kind of assault? Or no assault at all? What other event could take place instead of an attempted rape?
I'd save the scene for act two, so that there's still room to increase tension later and the reader has more time to build empathy for the MC. When adding a tense key event, always consider if it can be broken into parts to last longer. Introducing rapist, threats, failed attempt, the act, the consequences...
I thought about other assaults, or just avoid the whole scene entirely. I just wanted to put the character in a situation, in a dire need to save his friend. I could have the MC friend get into a brawl in the holding cell and MC helps him out. I thought a brawl was too common, only reason for the rape, felt more of a build up of tension for the reader. It's early part of the story, wanted to strengthen the characters trust between the two.
What other thing could take place that has the same character development you want. You're using rape for the shock factor but there's other ways to build up tension and different kinds of tension you can use. You could easily use a planned drug overdose or an impurity made for the guys on death row who want to go out on their own terms or those who are just super depressed and want to die. So the guys selling the drugs have to force the guy to take them but friend clues in and saves him. It could be that your guy getting assaulted had an issue with drugs previously or was a seller or something along those lines so it's personal to the character as well.
I'd agree that it's a bit of a trope/cliché. I have no experience of prison, so can't comment on realism, but in reality we don't need savage acts like rape to leave us feeling vulnerable - I'd imagine a prison environment to be pretty bloody intimidating - just the threat of violence is too much for most of us.
