Mental Health (Depression & Guilt)

I want to learn more about mental health in general but that is such a broad subject that I've narrowed down my current interest to depression and guilt. Now these are two things that I have my own share of personal experience with but things of this nature and the world itself is made up of more than our own personal experiences and so I'm reaching out.

Does anybody have any strong recommendations of books or documentaries related to the subject? I'm afraid that my lack of knowledge will keep me from fully understanding the science behind mental health and I wouldn't mind expanding my technical knowledge of it (considering my current amount of knowledge, there's a lot of room for expansion). But what I really want are more personal experiences such as personal journal entries from former soldiers who are now dealing with PTSD (another part of mental health I want to learn more about).

The closest thing I've ever read to personal experiences was a book titled The Boy who was Raised as a Dog and this was long enough ago that I only remember parts of it and it was one of my first forays into non-fiction (I was still in high school but I'm actually a little embarrassed by how few non-fiction books I've read since then). This was also more second-hand experiences since it came from the notes of a number of psychiatrists and while I certainly believe their accounts to be valid, it doesn't have quite the same impact as first-hand accounts.

So, recommendations? Books. Documentaries. Journals. Seminars. Maybe you're willing to share your own personal experiences? Needless to say, my interest in this subject relates to fiction writing and wanting to depict mental health in a believable and respectful way. So my last question is what authors/stories do you feel represented depression, guilt, and PTSD in this way and are there any that you feel fell short?

That's it! Let's hope I was clear in my questions and intent as I'm aware sometimes I'm not and that this generates some great discussion. Thanks!

 

This subject is vast. It would probably take many years to gain any reasonable understanding of it.

I can recommend 'The Games People Play' by Eric Berne M.D.

It is a short book but its subject matter is very very heavy so it is not an easy read. It will, however, give you a starting point and a sound basic knowledge of the principles of psychology. This may not be exactly what you are looking for, but it is incredibly useful for writers generally who are looking to add tensions and superb dynamics to their work and also for the following reasons.

• It studies transactions between people (dialogue).
  
• Dynamics such as 'Complementary transactions' (constructive conversation).
  
• What happens when somebody does not want to play fair (argue or plays a game).
  
• Manipulation and how it works. Patterns of behaviour (Parent, Adult Child).
• Addictive behaviour.
  
• Addressing peoples Parent, Adult, Child (PAC). How to recognise when somebody is putting you in PAC modes.

I will not lie, it was written in the 1950s so it is not politically correct but the psycological principles are sound if expressed in a sometimes ignorant way.

I would also recommend that you look at emotions. I don't have a book in particular that I can recommend. However, most people are not particularly good at expressing or identifying emotions. For example, fear and anger are the same emotion. They simply manifest themselves in different ways. This is true of all emotions as they are interlinked. Figuring out how is a good practice for learning about emotions. Again this is invaluable for authors that write about people.

 

I have no idea how well the psychology holds up, but sometimes plot is more important. When you said depression and guilt a single story jumped into my mind: Crime and Punishment. It follows the story of a young man who descends into madness, paranoia, and self-torture after murdering an elderly pawn broker.

I suffer from mental illness and depression is part of it, so feel free to ask whatever you want, I don't mind talking about it. Depression for me isn't feeling down all the time, I would liken it more to an emotional roller coaster where the lows are just super low. Panic attacks are common and feel like you're breathing becomes labored and the chest feels extremely tight. I think I suffered PTSD after my first suicide attempt. I remembered absolutely nothing about the night at first, and when pieces of it fell into place, they were not subtle. The flashbacks were as vivid as what's in front of you and while you're in them, it's like the world you're actually in doesn't exist. You also don't just see and hear what happened, you feel it emotionally too. If you were sad during the time you are flashing to, you'll be sad during the flashback. If you were scared, you'll be scared. Once you pop back out, you'll react to the flashback itself. Usually with fear or anxiety.

 

@Richach
@newjerseyrunner
@big soft moose

Thank you for your responses!

Richach, I'll be sure to check out The Games People Play. I am actually vaguely familiar with the title as I've heard it mentioned before but I've never really looked into it. After a little bit of Google and Wikipedia research on it, it's material does seem a little dense for my understanding (maybe that means I'm the dense one) and it may not be something I could read from cover to cover but that's something that I'll have to find out when it's actually in my hands. And from a historical perspective, the time during which it was written should make for an interesting read if for no better reason than to explore the idea of, "I agree with your idea/theory but not with how you expressed it."

newjerseyrnner, that is an apt description of PTSD if I've ever heard one. I've experienced a handful of panic attacks in my life and I've wondered if PTSD is a similar feeling but that description gives me the impression that it probably isn't (though how those around you react to your experience of them may be the same, for better or worse). I continue to struggle with my own depression (I refuse to seek medication, a personal preference and not a judgement but a topic for another thread) and I've discovered mental exercises that have done a lot to help me over the years. Most of my panic attacks have come during a time of extreme emotional stress and so I was able to identify their source but I've had a few that struck me suddenly just while going through a routine day and those are the ones that scare me the most.

I don't have any questions for you about your personal experiences because if I were to ask, I'd want them to be questions that I really had time to think about, sort of interview style, but if it's okay with you, I'll keep you in mind in the future should you be comfortable with me exploring your brain.

big soft moose, thank you for the links! I need to be better at research. I'm always so worried that I haven't properly verified my sources and then end up parroting something I learn only for someone who knows better to point out how terribly wrong I am (I don't mind being wrong, I just don't want to be insensitive when it comes to sensitive topics like this). I hadn't considered checking out the official army.mil as I suppose I ignorantly assumed that it would just be one big recruitment ad. I have some biases against my country's military organization (the organization, not members necessarily) and like a lot of people, my biases (not just in this but in anything) can blind me to potential avenues of research.

I'm 30 going on 31, I grew up with the Internet, but sometimes I feel like my old dad scratching his head and saying, "Look this up on the Google for me." But even he got better at it himself near the end of his life.

 

I don't know if it qualifies as PTSD related, but one of the best books on mental health related issues I've ever read is Challenger Deep by Neal Schusterman. His son has schizophrenia, and the book is written from his perspective. It's fictional, but based very heavily on the reality for his son.

I'd also recommend The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger. It was one of the first fictional books written with a depressed main character. The angst is hefty, but it's a valid book I'd recommend everyone read at least once.

Both of those, like I said, aren't necessarily PTSD related, but they deal with the depression (Challenger Deep) and guilt (there's so much guilt on Holden's side of the story) aspects that most mental issues have.

 

Excellent! I was excited for some fiction recommendations on the subject. I'll be adding Challenger Deep to my list for my next visit to the bookstore. I'll look for Catcher in the Rye at my local library but I can't promise anything. I have something of a bias against classics. Every classic I've tried reading has always been a chore and I've just taken to avoiding them for the most part.

 

To its credit, it's a quick read. I get what you're saying, though. I'm also of the mindset, however, that I need to read classics at least once so I know what the fuss is about. It's worked most cases except for James Joyce. He's a chore for me.

I hope you can find Challenger Deep. There's a passage in particular that resonated with me almost painfully, but I don't want to quote it so you can get the entire story without my bias, haha.

 

I'm sure it's probably subjective, but no, it's not like a panic attack. I get those too. Panic attacks tend to be reactive to something bad happening and is shortness of breath and tight chest. Those tend not to be part of a flashback. Flashbacks can happen at any time, usually triggered by something but can also happen randomly. Panic attacks tend to FOLLOW a flashback because the memory was so horrible.

I hear lots of stories about veterans going into combat mode during fireworks. They aren't really panicking at all, they are probably calm and falling back purely on instinct and training. I've never been in combat, but I know people who have. They say emotions are pretty much non-existent in the middle of a firefight. I've been told there is no fear, no panic, nothing, but what's in front of your weapon. I imagine during a flashback for them, they are in the same state of mind. They will break down emotionally after the flashback is over because of what they saw.

 

Fiction wise, I've found Tom King's ongoing run on Batman (2016) a wonderful representation of depression, a major guilt complex, and some elements of PTSD. Especially across the first four volumes or so. Some people don't enjoy the more vulnerable depiction of Batman or the story's character-driven nature, but I think it's a refreshing and relatable take on an iconic character.

Also, King has personal experience with similar mental health issues; it's obvious he drew on that experience here.

 

Google is your friend, so start there. There are loads of books on depression that are available. Plus, talking to people who have it and using your own experiences.

 

Aye. This is a great book for general insight into the underlying workings of social behaviour — fascinating read.

 

Ran across this article which is interesting, and also provides links to other sources. And it specifically deals with creating mental illness in fictional characters.

https://www.standoutbooks.com/writing-mental-illness/

 

I'm sorry, what? Research for the purposes of writing is precisely what that post was about.

I mentioned in my original post that people are welcome to share their own personal experiences if they're comfortable with doing so. That would include sharing my own experiences. I find bringing up personal experiences on the subject of mental health (and a lot of other subjects) to be one of the best ways to learn and relate, in my opinion.

My response had nothing to do with seeking assistance in dealing with my own condition (I already have that) or in gaining a diagnosis (I already have that, too). I feel I was clearly using my own experience with panic attacks to try to better understand a different condition of mental health (PTSD) that I thought might have similarities in its symptoms, effects, etc.

Trust me when I say that if I wanted help or a diagnosis with my own mental health, I wouldn't ask a bunch of writers. Writing is a profession that has a pretty notorious history of poor mental health and poorer coping methods. I feel like that would be like asking a dog how to better act like a cat... That analogy probably sucks.

I have a cousin who is a former Marine. We're not very close so we don't really talk much but I've heard him make mention of how he has a hard time around fireworks or trying to watch a war movie. I should consider talking to him and seeing if I could ask him some questions but I have such an awkward relationship with my family. I do know that he has developed methods (or found help) for dealing with his episodes so he does still (occasionally) go to fireworks shows and watch war movies (he mentioned only watching them at home). It's really fascinating some of the subtle ways something like that can change a person's life and the changes that they make that might seem minute to other people that nonetheless affect how they handle certain social situations.

I haven't read a superhero comic since I was a kid (a few as a young adult) but if it deals with such a deep subject and doesn't stray too far into the wider universe (or multiverse or omniverse or whatever they're calling it these days) of the other superhero characters then I think it's something I could enjoy. There are a few comics in other mediums that I still enjoy reading so I still frequent my local comic shops. I'll write down Tom King and look for his 2016 run the next time I'm there and see if it is something that I'd like to read. Thanks!

Yep! That's exactly what I'm doing here. I'm trying to avoid using Google to find books on the subject only because there are so many out there and I'm hoping to find some specific recommendations (especially from fellow writers in particular) but @big soft moose has already supplied me with a few helpful links. @Richach 's suggestion was also helpful as I've already picked up a copy of The Games People Play and started reading it. I'm happy to find that (so far) it's not going over my head as I thought it might and it seems like it will offer me an interesting psychological baseline to consider.

My own experience with depression is helpful in understanding how to write it into a story but that's only my own perspective and how it affects me but it is always good to learn how it affects other people, too.

See my above comment. :] Researching is something of a weak point for me as I wasn't a very good student growing up and that has transitioned over to my adult life. I can become easily confused with new subjects which makes me flustered and discouraged so I try not to pick anything up that is too hefty (I remember my brain rolling trying to read A Briefer History of Time which is meant to be a simplified version). I'm pleasantly surprised that this, however, doesn't seem to be beyond my grasp.

Oh sweetness! I'll read this, this weekend and definitely check out those other sources. I'm still finding new sources from the link's that Moose provided which is really cool. These starting off points are great for me because articles like this are usually good about pointing you in other directions so that I'm not aimlessly clicking in Google and possibly indulging in "hack research" (among many other things, I'm learning how to better verify sources, identify skewed research and statistic, etc.)

 

Its scope is pretty tightly focused, rarely straying from Batman and his allies in Gotham. There is one crossover (The Button, made up of two Batman and two Flash issues) that introduces a multiverse character important to the last half of the run, but it provides enough context to avoid confusion. And if you only want the arcs with the heaviest focus on mental stuff, you don't need to worry about that at all.

Those arcs would be "I Am Gotham", "I Am Suicide", "I Am Bane", and "The War of Jokes and Riddles", in that order.

 

I love me some Bane. I remember reading "Knightfall" as a kid and being so thrown for a loop to see the big bad Batman become literally crippled by this guy who either matched or beat him in every way from brain to brawn. "The War of Jokes and Riddles" just has a nice ring to it.

A projected 2-hour job turned into a 12-hour service call (I am not a happy camper right now because it's not even my weekend to work) so I didn't get to the comic book shop or the bookstore today like I wanted to. They're both open tomorrow and I think I'll make a half-day out of my visits and then spend the rest of the day writing (I like to save my reading for an hour or two after work/before bed during the week).

Thanks for the recommendation! I'll be blaming you if this little foray manages to throw me back down the superhero rabbit hole.

 

In that case, it might be right up your alley: Bane is more or less the main antagonist of the story as a whole.

If you decide you want to see how the mental elements play into the story at large, it's composed of:

• I Am Gotham
• I Am Suicide
• I Am Bane
• The Button
• The War of Jokes and Riddles
• The Rules of Engagement
• Bride or Burglar?
• The Wedding
• Cold Days
• The Tyrant Wing
• Knightmares
• The Fall and the Fallen (should be released as a trade paperback this month)
• City of Bane, Parts 1 & 2 (the collections should be out by March, I think)
• Batman/Catwoman (a monthly miniseries starting next year)

Other than the four arcs I mentioned earlier, Cold Days and Knightmares have the most stuff you're looking for. They won't make much sense without the arcs before them, though.

 

Recovering from a major depression I know a lot about the subject. I have two books at home that talk about depression.

- The depression cure; The six step program to beat depression without drugs. Stephen S. Ilardi.

- The writer's guide to psychology; How to write accurately about psychological disorders, clinical treatment and human behavior. Carolyn Kaufman.

I hope this helps.

 

My stories deal with mental illness. It is a broad topic but it is manageable I hope. My current story has people in group homes. The MC is a resident so she does not know the other clients’ diagnosis.
I know it is a tough subject but I think it is important.

 

I have AvDP and depression.
So I can tell you a little about them, but I can not guarantee the accuracy, since from time to time, all people with different disorders have different histories and experiences. I also did not study a lot of literature on this subject.

I did not trust the psychologist, as a result, we just tried to find another way to release negative thoughts and emotions. I don’t know how to draw or create music, so I write.

I know an example of a persons who draws to release his emotions. ( https://www.avogado6.com/) ( https://www.deviantart.com/yuumei)
(yuumei - Attached small stories to some art, why she painted it.) (avogado6 - A lot of very emotional and deep drawings.)
In case this helps.

 

"When I am deeply into one thing, I am into all things."—No idea who said it but I remember reading it somewhere.

And I find it to be quite true. What it means is, if you're trying to understand such a vast subject matter, pick one way in and study that intensively. When you get deep enough in, you'll find the roots of it expand outward and spring up in many other areas, all of which now make sense to you due to your intensive studies into your original area of focus. At a deep enough root level, many mental/emotional issues spring from very similar causes and result in very similar effects.

I also find developing a lifelong interest in certain aspects of mental health (and especially what tends to go wrong with it) builds a strong theory of human nature that will help in creating characters and understanding their motivations. I should say it adds to your theory—at the core it should be built on normal-functioning human motivations.

But be careful—don't let this be an excuse to morbidly obsess over mental issues, especially if they're your own. Researching and learning about yes, but not morbidly obsessing. That helps nobody.

It's also vitally important to understand that many mental/emotional issues cause people to behave in ways that make for inherently poor dramatic characters. Well, actually that depends on how you handle it really, but if you just realistically depict certain kinds of behaviors it will kill any dramatic power the characters need to have. Unless, as I said, handled properly. As for how to do that—well, that's what learning to write dramatically is all about.

 

Hmm, I have PTSD.... It's not combat caused. Also got a family full of nuts and a degree in psychology. Haha! There's also the depression and dissociation (which are likely PTSD related). What are you interested in in particular as far as PTSD?

 

Same here. Complex PTSD (C-PTSD), which means it's caused by emotional trauma rather than combat or other physical trauma. Personally I tend toward Freeze mode (Fight, Flight or Freeze reaction), which I think is also known as, or closely related to dissociation. What I used to think of as my social anxiety disorder I've recently realized is probably better described as Avoidance Personality Disorder, which means as a personality disorder it's more pervasive and powerful than simply a disorder. Basically I avoid people and situations that make me feel nervous, and there's a lot of them. I use what's known as Exposure Therapy to overcome this, which means you expose yourself in small measured doses to whatever you want to avoid and gradually learn it isn't going to hurt you and that in fact facing your anxieties actually makes life far better, as opposed to self-isolating.

I've learned my conditions can actually cause specific kinds of brain damage—in particular a shrunken hippocampus and greatly enlarged amygdala. The hippocampus is not a college for aquatic river mammals, it's one of the brain centers responsible for consolidation of short-term memories into long-term, so when it's atrophied (as I believe mine is—it would explain a lot) you have a lot of memory problems. The amygdala is part of the so-called lizard brain, and responsible for some of the primitive emotions like rage and fear. Specifically having it enlarged seems to cause anxiety issues.

What I've found incredibly helpful is to study stoicism and assertiveness and incorporate them into my life. Stoicism is an ancient Greek philosophy, from back when philosophies were actually practical ways of living life and solving its problems. It also served as the basis for modern Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), which apparently is very effective in helping people deal with their life issues. For assertiveness without aggression I'm starting to look into books on Verbal Aikido (Ai means Harmony, Ki or Chi is Energy, and Do means Way, so it's the Way of Harmonious Energy) or Aikido for everyday life. Aikido is the martial art where rather than striking you turn the opponent's energy against them.

 

I looked back at the original post. I can give some personal experience that should be helpful.

As I said, I tend to freeze when something triggers an emotional flashback. What triggers it is anything that specifically brings up memories of the experiences that caused PTSD. For me it's apparently certain kinds of taunting or threatening language and behavior. Some I'm ok with, some make me suddenly shut down. It's like you might have heard described—like going outside of your body in a way, or really it seems more like shutting down so you're not really there anymore. On some level I'm dimly aware that I've stopped responding even though people are talking to me or threatening me or whatever, but I can't do anything about it. It's like I've gone into a trance, I just keep staring and after a while people are saying things like "Are you OK?" or "Man, this dude is burnt!" But I literally can't speak or move.

Sometimes I can move a bit, but just can't speak. In one situation I kept opening my mouth—I knew what I wanted to say, but it wouldn't come out no matter how hard I tried. It felt really weird, like I should have been talking. The other person was really understanding and suggested I write it down instead and I was able to do that, but that was hours later. I suspect if I tried to talk about it I would have been unable again. In that case it wasn't like a full freeze-up, just verbal.

Whenever this happens (and I suspect it's what's called dissociation, but haven't looked into it enough yet to be sure) it will fade gradually after about 5 minutes. Or that's how long it felt, might have been less actually. Usually by that time whoever was taunting has probably left or stopped the behavior. It feels like waking up, except that I'm standing or sitting.