So I'm noticing something, lately I feel like when I'm nearing the end of a scene, I start getting that 'just end already' feeling. After reading some of my revised work and newer projects, I've noticed my characters are just a little bit on the chatty side. What's weird is I never noticed this before, I was content writing all the goofy dialogue even if it didn't make sense for the scene. In one of my 'side' projects, I'm doing a bandaid fix by having a silent type character in the cast, and having him be the main character. but that is very much a bandaid fix. I can re-read scenes and examine the dialogue, but it's hard to decide what to cut and what to keep.
Here's the first draft in my WIP of a scene in which director Kavado is sleeping with Finlay's mother and rolls Finlay's cot out in the hall at night and back in in the morning to avoid him finding out. I cut this down because of word count down to - My goal is what needs to be conveyed - Finlay's anger, Kavado's subterfuge. And it doesn't need a great deal of discussion to display that. Some conversations need the length to get the reader to understand how these characters engage together, and to deliver info but a lot of it is fleshed out with filler. A good way to cut back is either to enter the conversation with knowledge already in prior description, or to cut to the chase. Or to deliver a jewel at the right moment - for instance you could show a widow getting ready for her husband's funeral and talking with her sister and the meagerness of their life - or take one nugget discovered in the conversation - like Stanley never got to sleep on satin until now. And place it at the funeral at the end of a description and clip all leading dialogue to highlight it. It's really about finding pace.
Yeah I think what I'm noticing is that my pacing is terrible, so I'm trying to cut back on that a little bit. I did an 'intro scene' (you know one of those 'introduce the reader to the narrator' type scenes) and that scene is much shorter than I imagined it being. I'm writing a second draft of the first chapters of one of my stories, and it's already way less wordy than before. (a couple of things that were full conversations are basically narration) I'm also attempting to show the reader that she's clearly magical (besides the fact that she's a Kitsune I mean) without going too over the top about her feats and what she can do.
The easiest way to cut dialogue without losing substance is to convey more with gestures and physical reactions. You can also add a lot of subtext this way by showing a reaction that is counter to what the character is saying.
