The one that happens to me the most has to do with people's names. I just made a comment to a friend earlier about people who have first names that are last names, and it turned out her husband is a "double surname" dude. I don't know why I don't learn. For those of you who are just hitting the age where your friends have very young children, like seriously, avoid the name conversation altogether. There's literally nothing you can say to a young parent about their child's name that will end well for you. Later in life when the kids are grown and have bitched to their parents about the shitty names they were given, okay, that's your moment, you can now bring it up, but not before then. Where I live there is a thankfully dying trend of naming your child a name that is half dad's first name, half mom's first name. Some of the results are borderline child abuse. I know a person named Migniel. Seriously. Migniel. I wouldn't make that shit up. BUT THIS THREAD IS NOT ABOUT NAMES!!!!! It's about conversations you find yourself REGULARLY STARTING and then wishing you had a rewind button to make it not be happening and then wondering Why? Why do I do it??? .... and GO!
Hmmm I'm not sure if you mean subjects you don't want to bring up, or just the 'foot in the mouth' type moments. I'll give an example of one that happened to me once. *This is a true story* I came into Chemistry class and my buddy Dave was already in there. Well a girl we often talk to comes in and obviously looks upset. Dave and I both know her boyfriend Jeff and how they get in silly arguments all the time and how she over reacts. Dave asks her, "Are you and Jeff fighting again?!?" And before she can respond, me hoping to try and keep their relationship together somewhat says, "Come on Dave, why does it always have to be about her and Jeff getting into an argument? How do you know her dog didn't just die or something?" I thought hey, a little levity to the moment might break the stiffness in the air... That's when she said back with a sniffle, "Actually my dog was hit and killed by a car yesterday..."
I guess the talk about religion between atheist and a believer is a classic. I don't participate in these talks anymore. According to my experience nobody gained anything, but the fight is almost always long. So if it comes to a debate about religion, I'm always quiet now and listen to others, while laughing my arse off in my head. Not because of the arguments, but because it's really funny how one is dedicated to his beliefs and is quickly irritated by not understanding why his adversary doesn't see what one is trying to say. P. S. this is not attack on believers or atheists, it just never ceases to amaze me how the same quarrel can go on and on and almost no one ever changes their arguments. Ufff, @Lewdog, that's rough....
Every time I encounter someone on the internet who is too irritating to ignore, I respond, and I always regret it as soon as the drama erupts. I don't shit-stir on purpose, and I wow to stop doing it, but next time it happens all over again. I'm gradually managing to resist the urge, I'm not even sure why I do it, I don't really care about other people's opinions that much. It's like speaking before thinking. Eh.
All these conversations are just an opportunity to talk about what you want to talk about. "Decided to go with Gretchen ya? You know there's a video of a cat playing with a big lizard online."
pffft i know how the double first name thing feels in fact my whole name could be seen as first names... i hate having conversations about my name and it annoys me like having an itch in a place you cant scratch!
That's what I used to do when I was younger and new to the internet. Let's just say it took a quite a bit of time for me to learn to not get too involved in subjects I know little about. If anything else, I poke in with a little "Let's see if I understand this..." comment, try to sum up the discussion up to that point and have people calmly explain it to me while others are busy ripping each other's hair out.
I have a serious problem with people who hate their lives but do nothing to try to change it. For example... Problem: I hate my job. It's ruining my life. Solution: Find a new job. Easy, right? I always think so, so I make the suggestion that they quit complaining and do something about (not in so many words, of course). I always regret that... Because then their entire life story gets shoved down my throat about how, not only does their job suck, but they've been sick (go to the doctor), they never leave the house (go do something), they've been staying up super late when they have to get up at 5am so then they're tired all day (go to bed earlier). My roommate is a compulsive complainer (are there meetings for this? CA -- Complainer's Anonymous). And I always regret trying to help him. It's one thing or another with him. But my all time favorite is when he complains about his health. He has six cavities. He complains about how much they hurt, how they're starting to chip and crack, but he won't go to the dentist. He also won't stop eating poorly. He drinks about 12 Mountain Dew's a day and eats junk food and sweets like crazy. Then his toothache radiates to his ear and gives him an ear infection. So then he has mouth pain and ear pain. Then he gets a headache from all the pain. Then his lymph nodes swell up to the size of golf balls from trying to fight off the infection. But instead of going to the doctor, he just takes twenty freaking ibuprofen in less than 12 hours. Then he complains that he's dizzy and his stomach is upset. YO! Solution is simple, dude. GO TO THE DOCTOR. Does he listen to me? Nope. Just makes me feel like a piece of crap for telling him he lives an unhealthy lifestyle. Gee whiz...
Talk about relationships... I don't always care about the petty struggles of my peers and their inabilities to understand why their partners don't "just get" them... What's more, I don't care to explain why I'm still single (which comes up from time to time amongst my family and some of the homies). Trouble is, I trap myself by asking my friends specific questions about what I know or remember) was going in in their lives.
I wasn't aware of a pitbull argument, to be honest. It was the latter I always witnessed. @ Lea'Brooks- I wonder if he just doesn't trust doctors?
Oh no, he's fine with doctors. He keeps saying his mom recommended a dentist that he's going to call some day. But if it isn't his health, it's something else. He hates his job. Never has he hated a job so much in his life. I keep telling him, you only have a three month contract with these people, start looking for a new one now before it runs out and you get fired. Is he looking? No. And then he complains that he doesn't have enough money to go out and do anything. But when his job offers him a chance to work overtime and make extra, does he take it? No. "It's not worth it," he says. "Even if I get paid overtime, all that money is just going to be spent on something anyway." Forgive me, but I do believe that's the point of money.... to spend it. Ugh. People who complain just for the sake of hearing themselves talk annoy me.
It's the curse of being smart and having knowledge. You can't help but step in, even though all better judgement says walk away. I'm learning to ignore things now, myself.
My husband and I have this same reoccurring conversation. He always starts it but he's definitely not solely to blame as I admittedly get pretty monosyllabic when I am distracted or focused on something else and tend to be easily annoyed when interrupted. Him: You okay? Me: Yeah. Why? Him: I was just wondering, you are being awfully quiet. Me: I'm fine. Him: Okay... You sure? Me (starting to get annoyed): Yeah, I said I was fine. Why don't you believe me? Him: I believe you, but your voice sounds upset. Me (snapping now): I said I'm fine. Him: You don't sound fine. What's wrong? Me: Nothing! I'm fine! Him (getting upset now): Why are you snapping at me? I just want to know what's upsetting you. Me: I'm fine! I mean... I was fine. Now I'm getting upset that you are insisting something is wrong. Him: Sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. And somehow I end up feeling bad. :/ Ah well, it doesn't happen often and we're fine again after a half hour. But after every time it's like, "We did that again? Seriously?"
It's because he cares (as you know). That's pretty funny because I've been there before with people in my life, on both ends of the discussion. It's one of those weird moments where love disguises itself.
I hate it when people pick up on my various speaking and accent quirks. Yeah, I say Wolfgang as 'wolf-gung', so what? And depending on who I'm talking to I either pronounce the word 'scone' too properly or all wrong, what does that even MEAN?!? There are a lot of words that have entered English everyday use that we don't pronounce properly, too. British people could honestly have wars over this stuff, I'm sure of it.
my mothers like that then i get had a go at for snapping at her... she does it to my dad as well, what she doesnt seem to realise is that she annoys the hell out of us by doing that and we are inclined to snap (yes i do share some of my dads personality traits) another pet peeve is when people totally misunderstand the music i listen to for instance, i could be listening to i dont know, Locust by Machine Head (as an example, more songs are available by said band) and someone asks what it is, or they say, "is that satan music?" at that point i want to say, ill show you what friggen satan music is in a minute if you dont **** off. it seems irrational but when i have to repeat myself time and again, i get frustrated, or the better one the comment that im "emo" or "goth" and im like no... im the lesser spotted metalhead chick.... (i have nothing against goths/emos btw, i think you guys are awesome!)
Religion, politics, even history. You name it. I never get involved in any debate. In A. Hitler's words "you will never learn what I am thinking. And those who boast most loudly that they know my thought, to such people I lie even more."
I graduated from art school in 2000 and went to a mixer a couple years later. There was a trend that every final portfolio showing was wrecked by some problem... Fire knocking the power out, huge blizzard, can't remember what else went wrong, but I joked about it to a guy whose show was wrecked by 9-11. I apologized.
The pregant women dilemma. I can never get it right. Never. And the horrible thing is, you feel compelled to say something because if you don't, you might come off rude. So either you congratulate for the baby and turns out she's just chubby. Or she's pregnant, thank God, I got it right this time, but she tells me I shouldn't congratulate 'cause I'm actually jinxing it. But if she's pregnant, she talks about it, she mentions when she's due, and you don't congratulate for fear of jinxing it... Soon someone comes by and says something about it, the expecting mother glows under the congratulations, and I look like a jerk. It's a conversation you can't win! Lol, what? Gotta love "it's Satan's music" people.
i wish i could see the funny side, but unfortunately i don't namely because of the amount of time i had to explain this to every single person who made the assumption... i seriously give up with the whole thing now... that was the intention
