1. AHewlett

    AHewlett Member

    Joined:
    Mar 28, 2011
    Messages:
    82
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Moreton, Wirral, United Kingdom, United Kingdom

    Help needed with this plot....

    Discussion in 'Plot Development' started by AHewlett, Feb 17, 2012.

    I've had this story idea since I was 15 and I've been writing to put words onto paper but nothing really seems to come to me which is why I thought someone might be able to make an RPG out of it and maybe I could get a couple of ideas from it. But it seems it might not be possible to turn it into an RPG without giving some freedom so it was suggested that I turn to this part of the forum to see if anyone can shed any light on the plot.

    It's set in modern day New York City and the story is based on the relationship between an eighteen year old Lile O'Rourke and Ryan Lewis. The twist in the story is that Lile's family owns one of the largest advertising businesses in the world and Ryan works has just been made VP, her father is acting CEO. Lile was made the heiress to the business empire when she was ten years old by her grandfather and she will take over the business when she's twenty-one, her training will be begin when she turns nineteen.

    Lile has been in love with Ryan ever since she first met him at the annual Christmas party her parents hold, the only problem at the time was that she was fourteen years old and Ryan was having an affair with her mother. This affair was serious to the point where Lile's mother was willing to break off the marriage to her husband until she found out that in her pre-nup, she wouldn't get any money if she divorced Lile's father. Lile's mother breaks off the relationship and Ryan is heartbroken, becoming a cold person on the exterior to anyone he meets. Lile has been waiting ages for this to happen and one day, she goes into his office and admits her feelings for him which he doesn't return of course.

    She kisses him, he throws her out of this office and tries to ignore her anytime she's at the office. Over the upcoming months, she tries to show him that she isn't some lovestruck teenager and that she's nearly a grown woman, a good business mind and willing to put everything on the line for him.

    The begin a relationship in secret but it soon ends when Ryan starts to realise that Lile is like her mother in looks and that she could just be using him to get back at her.

    Now, this is part of the plot where I'm stuck. At the end of book one as I've planned it, I wanted them to be in a relationship or Lile has taken over the business or both. Just getting from that point where they break it off to the end is a problem.

    If anyone could help then I would really appreciate it since I want to write a short story for this as well as a novel and to get it published if I can.
     
  2. joanna

    joanna Active Member

    Joined:
    May 25, 2010
    Messages:
    425
    Likes Received:
    12
    Location:
    Boston
    That's quite a story -- I'd really like to read it someday.

    Maybe it would help to ask your characters what they'd do. What other trouble might Ryan get himself into? Since he's already engaged in questionable behavior, maybe he's not above getting in trouble with the law? Is Lile really in love with Ryan, or just young and naive? Might she bring around a boyfriend to make Ryan jealous? Raise the tension, raise the stakes -- if Lile and Ryan end up together at the end, make it look like there are so many obstacles, it's impossible for their love to survive. I find questions like these are sometimes solved by asking, 'What if?' Sometimes even things in my daily life that I observe make me ask that question, and the answer is the answer to where my story is going.
     
  3. AHewlett

    AHewlett Member

    Joined:
    Mar 28, 2011
    Messages:
    82
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Moreton, Wirral, United Kingdom, United Kingdom
    Someone who I've somewhat based the Ryan character on (mostly just the name) said to me that Ryan wouldn't wait around for Lile to grow into a woman, he would date other women where as Lile would wait around for him. Ryan wouldn't get into anymore trouble than he already would be as this is the best job around for him and he knew there would be trouble if the affair was found out so he would try not to get into more trouble.

    The other obstacles would be Lile's age, the family, the business as well as the media.
     
  4. Tesoro

    Tesoro Contributor Contributor

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2011
    Messages:
    2,818
    Likes Received:
    300
    Location:
    A place with no future
    I remember you talking about this story earlier, and i think it sounds interesting and definitely think you should write it. How much have you written so far? I'm afraid I can't be of much help regarding the plot development, as I'm afraid my opinions wouldn't suit the story I think you have in mind.
     
  5. AHewlett

    AHewlett Member

    Joined:
    Mar 28, 2011
    Messages:
    82
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Moreton, Wirral, United Kingdom, United Kingdom
    I wrote a couple of pages which were lost when my pen drive decided to die on me with everything else so I've had to try and remember some things, the only being what I've written in this post. Any opinions would be more than welcome at this point to be honest :)
     
  6. shelabama

    shelabama New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 16, 2012
    Messages:
    20
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Pittsburgh, PA, USA
    For a little extra conflict, you could add in another, more "suitable" man that proposes a relationship to Lile. He could be a son of a friend of Lile's dad, maybe, so Lile feels the need to live by the standard that her dad has set for her in his mind. She would then have to choose between this new man, who could give her everything she needs - materially and socially - and Ryan, who could give her everything she wants. Did that make sense?
     
  7. jazzabel

    jazzabel Agent Provocateur Contributor

    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2012
    Messages:
    4,255
    Likes Received:
    1,688
    My first thought was "Why would she want to get back at her mother. What happened between them? Just because mother had an affair doesn't make a daughter automatically want to sleep with mother's ex-boyfriend. Most girls would find that "ewww, disgusting".
    In real life, while many times girls might think about that kind of revenge, it actually takes some seriously complicated mother-daughter dynamics to make something like that actually happen.

    And why is this guy thinking this? Is it his paranoia or something he knows (like, the daughter slagging off her mother to him all the time), if not, then why does he have that particular worry? What might have happened in his life to make him jump to such conclusions?

    You can drive the plot, and generate subplots, based on deeper analysis of the characters, at least that's what I usually do when I'm stuck.
     
  8. AHewlett

    AHewlett Member

    Joined:
    Mar 28, 2011
    Messages:
    82
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Moreton, Wirral, United Kingdom, United Kingdom
    It makes perfect sense and it's a really good idea, one of which I'll probably use if you don't mind. Thank you!
     
  9. AHewlett

    AHewlett Member

    Joined:
    Mar 28, 2011
    Messages:
    82
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Moreton, Wirral, United Kingdom, United Kingdom
    Lile doesn't necessarily want to get back at her mother; that's just what Ryan thinks.

    Regarding why he thinks that, it's something I'll be looking at when I'm doing further planning. Thanks for your ideas!
     
  10. prettyprettyprettygood

    prettyprettyprettygood Active Member

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2011
    Messages:
    450
    Likes Received:
    43
    Location:
    Edinburgh
    My suggestions would depend on the true motivations of the characters. Is there a villain (or two, or three) of the piece? Is Lile's dad a poor father & husband, greedy and obsessed with the business? Or is Lile a spoiled princess who always gets what she wants and doesn't care who she hurts? My first assumption was that Ryan was trying to break this family up so he could take over the company or something, but you've portrayed him as genuinely upset about the end of his affair and worried about his relationship so that doesn't seem to be the case.

    I feel like someone needs to get their comeuppance in some way at some point in the story, there are plenty of options for this but it depends on the characters involved.
     
  11. AHewlett

    AHewlett Member

    Joined:
    Mar 28, 2011
    Messages:
    82
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Moreton, Wirral, United Kingdom, United Kingdom
    I've never really thought about it to be honest but now that you've questioned it, I would point towards the mother. The father may be greedy and not the winner of the best father award but he's not going to go out of his way to harm his daughter where as the mother would. It's kinda like a modern day Cinderella story but without the pumpkins and the magic and the step-mother as well as step-sisters. In this case, it's the mother and two sisters. A mother who thinks her last daughter, Lile, was a mistake and that her other two daughters would be best as the heiress.

    So her mother would be the villain in this case.
     
  12. prettyprettyprettygood

    prettyprettyprettygood Active Member

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2011
    Messages:
    450
    Likes Received:
    43
    Location:
    Edinburgh

    Hmm, in that case I'm thinking something along the lines of...after Ryan and Lile break up you have a little episode that makes Ryan see the mother for who she really is, and makes his feelings for Lile grow. Maybe he sees the mother belittle Lile, or better he finds out about a plan the mother has to make one of the other daughters the heiress. He realises he was wrong about Lile and tries to get her to forgive him, but she's too hurt and refuses to get back together with him (she could start going out with someone more 'appropriate' at this point).


    The mother becomes jealous of the relationship, and starts trying to seduce Ryan. He sets something up so the dad witnesses one of these attempts, and the mother is booted out in breach of the pre-nup so she's left with nothing.


    Ryan knows that by letting the dad witness this, he is effectively letting his boss know that he was shagging his wife for ages, which is obviously going to get him fired and will ruin his reputation in the industry. Lile is so touched by Ryan sacrificing himself for her benefit that she gets back together with him. Then they could either run the business together, or Lile could give up her inheritance and they head off to the countryside to live happily ever after or whatever :p


    Obviously there are countless options for where this story to go and I'm not saying this suggestion is the best or even particularly good, but I hope it gives you some angles to think about :)
     
  13. AHewlett

    AHewlett Member

    Joined:
    Mar 28, 2011
    Messages:
    82
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Moreton, Wirral, United Kingdom, United Kingdom
    Those are some really good ideas though with the amount of money between them, it would probably be somewhere tropical instead of the countryside :p

    You've given me plenty to think about so thanks very much!
     
  14. Cogito

    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

    Joined:
    May 19, 2007
    Messages:
    36,161
    Likes Received:
    2,828
    Location:
    Massachusetts, USA
    You've had a story idea since you were fifteeen, and you want someone else to round it out for you?

    It's YOUR story. Start writing it. Add the details as you come to them. Don't turn it into everyone else's story.
     
  15. AHewlett

    AHewlett Member

    Joined:
    Mar 28, 2011
    Messages:
    82
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Moreton, Wirral, United Kingdom, United Kingdom
    I'm brainstorming.
     
  16. Cogito

    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

    Joined:
    May 19, 2007
    Messages:
    36,161
    Likes Received:
    2,828
    Location:
    Massachusetts, USA
    Brainstorming is what you do to come up with a business solution, or a marketing plan, etc. You've had the story in your head for years.

    Do you think James Patterson or RA Salvatore bounce story ideas back and forth with their buddies? Maybe a writer who is stuck on a perticular plot point may lookfor ideas, but real writers don't look for others to come up with their story ideas.

    Brainstorming is the word a lot of new writers use when they really are looking for approval or permission to go ahead and write. It's a bad habit. All it does is hold you back.

    Take a deep breath and start writing. Trust yourself, and trust your story.
     
    1 person likes this.
  17. Gonissa

    Gonissa New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2012
    Messages:
    263
    Likes Received:
    14
    Location:
    Ghost Tower
    Weird...y'know, dudes are mentally programmed to be the persuers. No matter what Lile does to try and earn Ryan's trust, she's bound to fail by direct persuit. It's better in the male mind to be enticing, unless the male in mind is lazy, not looking for long term, or an extremely rare exception. Lile's not going to get him unless she gives up.
     
  18. AHewlett

    AHewlett Member

    Joined:
    Mar 28, 2011
    Messages:
    82
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Moreton, Wirral, United Kingdom, United Kingdom
    Thanks to everyone who threw some ideas out there and gave me advice, I've got a good idea of where the story is going. I'll hopefully put chapter 1 up once I've written it, looked it over and fiddled around with it but that might not be for a while.

    Thanks once again!
     
  19. riggbren

    riggbren New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2012
    Messages:
    46
    Likes Received:
    0
    Just find any way to increase tension in the story. It seems like at that point it could begin to get boring.
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice