What would a person leave behind...

I am not 100% where this scene-related question would be best asked.

What personal items/artifacts might a person have had on them that they deliberately remove/take out of pockets right before they were thinking about taking their own life? To be specific, the character is sitting on the beach alone at night while there is a party going on that he has come from- and decides he's going to go out into the ocean (with no plan on coming back). He gets very very close but doesn't follow through because his friends come onto the beach and see him in the water and interrupt, thinking he is just drunk and high and stupidly deciding on going for a swim.

The items he left behind are found on the beach by someone the next morning and returned to the house where he is staying. His friend who brought him safely back to land the night before (and suspected something was up) is sitting at the kitchen table with him when the items are brought into the house and placed down between them. His friend sees the items that are returned and triggers a realization of what was going on before he/they arrived and stopped him.

What items might he have had on him and left behind that would signify to his friend when they are returned that he was planning to commit suicide as opposed to going for an ill planned intoxicated nighttime swim when he went into the water?

All I can think of so far is his wallet, watch and the cherished pendant he always wears that he got as a bday gift from his special someone the year before, but that doesn't seem like enough. I mean most people would take their watch off and remove their wallet if they were going for a swim. This after-scene idea came to me today while I was walking and it's very good but I have not been successful in brainstorming what kind if all-telling personal artifacts would be a giveaway to a friend that it was premeditated. I mean maybe going into the ocean WITH the watch on would be... no concern for ruining it?

Couple considerations:
1: this is 1977 so no cell phones (you'd leave that on a beach anyway)
2: There's no wedding ring, the pendant is the only thing he would wear that would never take off, that I can think of currently.

 

Shoes? Maybe he has some really nice new shoes and he's made a big fuss any time they almost got wet or dirty. Just couldn't bear to ruin them. Instantly recongizable to anyone who knows him.

 

That's something to include for sure, he's definitely a label queen and especially since he's been at a party all night. I supposed if he was on he beach with the sand and stuff though he would have automatically taken them off first. Especially before going into the water.

Are you thinking with the shoes kinda same thing I was wondering about the watch like opposite of taking something someone cares for off first to protect it normally and like maybe if they hadn't this time?

 

Wow, thank you! That's a really good point about the neatly folded vs. simply left behind, I had not considered that! Kind of like in Titanic when Cal's man servant points out to Jack that Rose had slipped so suddenly yet he had time to remove his jacket and shoes. I just want for it to be fairly obvious/understood when the other character sees, what he was up to.

Very proud of myself that I have been building on this (what I hope to be rather intense) beach scene and that the subsequent scene the morning after popped into my head and has since led into what happens after that and it is very satisfying to now have multiple scenes that flow into one another directly even though I am still building them each out- and I *think* drive the story forward. I need to clean it all up a bit (or not, may just share as-is as a very rough draft) and would like to use as my first piece to share for critique. It will be far from a polished finished piece for sure.

 

It was very late and my brain was already in bed waiting for me to catch up. All I was thinking was something a person might take off before getting in the water that would be very recognizably theirs.

 

Is it important to the story to list al the items he left behind?

 

No, not really, but at least one identifying item to mention that his friend notices in the pile that he figures it out what was going on. The point I am trying to get across to readers is that he doesn't actually tell his his friend what he was up to but the friend figures it out for himself when he sees x, y z item among the things he had left on the beach. It has to be obvious to him too that his friend realizes.

 

write something in the sand? Have them remove something from the wallet...a picture, or other clue?

I carried the bottle cap from the last beer I ever drank in my pocket for years...odd things unique to that character they would have in their pocket?

 

I am working on cleaning it up more before posting (slow going)- but it will be helpful to know where to go once at that point.

 

There are some good answers here already, so I'll just add a little wrinkle: What's his motivation for leaving this important thing (whatever you choose) behind? The suggestions so far are focused on something important that he wants to preserve: the pendant is very good, especially if it's a family heirloom that someone else would want. Even the folded clothes fit, especially if they are some fancy designer label. The point that his friend would pick up on is that he still values something, just not himself.

The alternative is that it's something that was once important to him but which he no longer values and is now throwing away. I'd call this the "death of a dream" version; the thing he gets rid of should symbolize something he's rejecting about himself. For instance, if he had once been a promising student who went to Harvard, and he built his whole identity around that but then crashed and burned outside of academia, maybe he wore a class ring wore all the time, but now he throws it into the sand and then walks into the sea. Or if he had been trying to get sober, he may have had an A.A. coin in his pocket (were those a thing in the 70s? I don't know) that he ditches. Maybe a wallet sized photo of an ex he never got over. Lots of possibilities.

Actually, now that I think of it, even the pendant and clothes and such could be rejections of a kind, depending on the why. Like, if he felt like he didn't deserve the pendant for some reason, he may toss it aside. The designer clothes are interesting: if he thought he had grown up into some kind of poseur, he might NOT carefully fold them but deliberately crumple them into the sand.

Fun question! Good luck with the scene!

 

These suggestions are actually poignant and it kinda gave me chills helping me delve into a way deeper place I had not, yet. the pendant is important... it was a gift from his boo, his friend he's in love with, who gives it to him as an early bday gift before he's about to embark on a lengthy backpacking trek across country to see America. It is a pendant of St. Christopher (his name is Christopher)- the patron saint of traveler's, as a gesture to protect him on his trip. Neither are Catholic but it is a touching and unexpectedly thoughtful gift. When he gives him the pendant it is kinda like unofficially their first real romantic date, out to dinner together alone in a nice restaurant, dressed up. The pendant signifies both a promise as well as his protection and knowing he is not planning on a safe return from his venture into the sea is highly symbolic actually (now that you have me thinking about why he would leave it behind) of yeah, I am going to leave this here because I don't want anyone to protect me right now.

I needed to add that the friend who gave him the pendant is at home back in New York City going about his normal business on aware that any of this is happening. The friend who's with him at the beach and figures out what's happening it's just one of his entourage from where he lives in the West village that he's there with.

*Additional detail: I haven't thought of a way to work it into this scene yet but one of the things that's happening to his friend is that as bad things are happening to Chris he starts having unexplained anxiety, almost like intuitively he knows something's wrong but he has no idea why he feels it. When he's going through this on the beach he's driving and pulls over because he just doesn't feel right. I don't want to interrupt the flow of the scene but jumping back and forth so I haven't included it yet I wrote it separately.

 

Wow! Through literature or in real life?? I had tried to find something notable and relatable from mythology to reference in titling this chapter/scene but it there is an appropriate story of a mythological character who committed suicide in this way and/or rescued before they follow through, I wouldn't know where to look. I found a list of mythological characters who killed themselves but seems silly to just randomly pick one.

I could do something with this idea, too, because as I mentioned in another post, he carries a piece of paper with his information on it, should something ever happen to him; that way the police can ID his body if his wallet has been taken or something.

Obviously, he wouldn't keep this in his wallet and might leave that on the beach, too, using it as an envelope for the pendant.

One of he lines of dialogue when he's discovered in the water and his friend is being kind of silly both in trying to add a little comic relief to a tense situation and not realizing it is a serious situation.... He makes a comment to him that he better not be skinny thinking he'll join him, cuz he's not going into the water naked, too, with sharks and jellyfish in there lol

 

The item left behind could be the catalyst for a back story. For me personally if I had left behind the knife that I always carry, it would signal to anyone who knows me that I was not coming back. Years ago I was caught up in the drive shaft of a piece of equipment. The shaft wound in my Carharts and was sucking me in. The shaft spun slowly and with each revolution, it gained more torque and speed. I frantically cut away at the material with my knife. I was sure that I was going to die, but wanted it to look like I fought to the end. It is a gruesome way to go. As I cut away the material I was also cutting into my leg. By the time it was over, about 20 minutes my clothes had been ripped off and I drove myself to the hospital to in my long underwear. It took 32 stitches to sew up myself inflicted wounds. The adrenaline high during this, was way over the top, the let down as it wore off the ultimate range when it comes to emotions and realizing how close I had come to losing my life.

In the hallway of my house is a sign that says Rule #9 Browns never leave the house without a knife. I carry a knife every day, I have spares in the truck, spares in the car. I often carry two and if for some reason I left it behind I go back and get one. I tell myself I am going to die without one.

Anyone who knows me knows the story. If you tell me you don't have a knife I will often give you one, everyone has heard the story.

To someone who just came across something like my knife it would mean nothing, to anyone else it would have signaled something was wrong.

This may be a subtle way for you to add some depth to your character, and let the reader have an attachment or empathy for them. It could be anything that was symbolic of an important time and place, special only to them and give you a great chance to tell a cool yarn.

 

That's horrible!!! I can't imagine going that way. I feel like it would give someone too much time to think about it. So sad. I think about animals in nature and how you don't really see them reach this same point of giving up on life- they're driven by the will to live, I think. If ever an animal "gave up" it is usually when they are to the point of illness where they go curl up in some hole somewhere. I'm sure with nature being what it is often times a sick animal at its end stage of life won't always lay there until it takes its just breath- they're very vulnerable to predators at that stage. Not sure where I'm going with this, just a random thought that popped into my head. Even if an animal is at that stage though and they fall victim to a predator, they're still going to react and fight in whatever way. They're not like ok, take me! I was tired of laying here like this.

Interestingly humans have the ability to overcome this will to live and in thinking about story scene, the character is on a mission to complete take his own life but once he becomes distracted suddenly he's in a vulnerable position. Out too far in the water, almost too deep and too strong to try and control himself in it and when he's barely able to, begins to panic and his friend swims out to help him. Just an interesting switch in mindset. And I wonder how much that would be true in real life just from knowing what I know about humans behavior. Like I'm on this mission when I'm by myself to complete this task but suddenly now that I'm not doing that anymore now I feel vulnerable and the will to live kicks in. I'm assuming that's also why they have suicide hotlines and stuff for people in crisis. I might be wrong but I'm wondering if there is a thing in human nature that if and when humans are interacting with other humans it triggers more of that instinctual will to live- as a very social species. Cuz most humans tend to commit suicide by themselves and it's when other people get involved that it thwarts the effort in some way.

 

That's an amazing story dude. As corny as it is I always talk about keeping emergency stuff at least in my trunk of my car because of situations like that that you don't ever expect to plan for like needing a knife to cut yourself free of your Carhartt or cut through a branch that has trapped your limb or something. My car is not very well supplied at the moment but I do carry a keychain with a little tiny pocket knife which is nothing obviously but still. You're very lucky to survive this the pictures are absolutely insane to look at. Carhartts are thick as heck! But as you said I'm sure the adrenaline give you a good rush to help you push through the situation and honestly that's what it's there for.

Suffice to say, in terms of the scene in the story and having the backstory start here with the pendant, he doesn't actually do it. He gets very close but his friends come along and kind of save him without realizing it until later. So it doesn't happen, not here anyway, not at this time.

So the beginning of the story starts in present day which is actually like 20 years ago now but starts kind of over a photograph of this character with the main character. When the story cycles through the flashback of the past and comes back to modern day, the main character reunites with his pendant when he's going through his old things.

What if I put the pendant in sooner, that when he was staying with him in 1981 and they have their final unplanned parting, he left the pendant behind at his place and he held onto it for all those years? Long ago I had written something similar into that scene when I still had the two characters reuniting years later, before I decided (with great struggle) that Chris doesn't survive into the future. It was an heirloom ring not a pendant that belonged to hisg randmother who he was devoted to. At the time after they reunite in present day he surprises him by giving him the ring back, putting it on his finger almost like an engagement ring.

But the pendant could work in a similar way as you said for backstory, this is all more scene development though.

 

That is very realistic, those who think about suicide go through ups and downs and often need to hear or see that someone cares about them to keep them going another day. I would make sure to make the exchange between the friends appear to be very superficial, but have some really deep or long time ago memory that triggered them to realize that maybe things are not as bad as they seem and they don't want to let these friends down by doing something stupid and selfish. More back story, more empathy for your character for the reader to identify with.

Looking forward to reading your work and how you tie it all together.
Bob

 

Thank you for this!!! It's encouraging, really. Could you explain what you mean here a little please? I'm not quite following what you mean about the exchange being superficial and then the memory part.

It will be challenging I think to tie it all together, I'm dying to make progress fleshing out these related scenes into a complete, readable piece so that I can share with others although I'm very scared because I'm sure it's crap compared to the concept but anyway. In the immediately following scenes, the next day after he incident at the kitchen table where his things are returned from the beach, he packs up and heads back to the city without telling anyone, knowing if he gets back soon enough Ben will still be at his place. He feels like there must be something wrong that he's back several days early but Chris doesn't make any allusions about why he's back but it is written into the seen that seeing him will stop him from trying again. I think from everyone's suggestions on I'm it right track with this random set of ideas that have continued to come to me. This is a crucial scene for this
character so I'm thankful for this.


The character, Chris, as he's going into the water is having a succession of memories. One of which is when Ben, who gave him the pendant first taught him how to swim in the ocean and go past the whitewater without getting wiped out because he was always afraid of this from a bad childhood experience. It is one of their first more boyfriendy type experiences. As he's going deeper into the water he's thinking how he's not going to dive down under the waves, wondering if anyone will know what happened to him, wondering if there's any way Ben will ever find out what happened to him since no one he's friends with is really friends with him, too. They don't know his phone number or where he lives. He's going through these final thoughts right before his friends call out to him from the shore.

I was curious to understand better about what you meant and how it could relate to this scene, as I stopped writing from Christopher's thoughts beyond hearing his name being called and it might be worth including something as you said a deep memory or something. Maybe the memory is related to Ben and not the friends he's with?

 

I can tell you a story, it is after all what I do; it will give you a great illustration of what I mean.

Chuck is a friend of more than 40 years. There was a time when we spent everyday together, today we are old gray haired men.

There is something about true friends, something that has a sense of intimacy, it can’t be hurried but is justly earned by time and trust. You see it whenever you see two old guys who are long time buddies interact with each other. There is often no need for full sentences, no need to say it. Many things are assumed, it is the language of silence. Sometimes the raised eyebrow says more than the vocal cords are capable of. This becomes obvious to the bystander who feels he has been left out of the loop or somehow missed the punch line; you see them laugh and have no idea why, a whole story has been told and yet only a few words were spoken

I was the climber and Chuck was the ground guy when it came to the tree work. I had to trust everything he said, do exactly as he told me without second guessing him. He could see things better than I could. He saw the big picture of what needed to be done and what technique we would use to make it happen. I was focused on my movements, how I was tied off and which limbs I would use to support myself or tie off to. He would keep my ropes clear, lower the parts of the tree down we had cut. He had saved my life more once by noticing things I had not. Often with a single abrupt command, it could mean the difference between life and death or serious injury, this became the foundation of our friendship.
We both love to tell jokes, the punch line often became a buzz word or shorthand for a long list of things that needed to be done, other times it was just for fun.

How it all starts:

Leroy and his young wife checked into a fancy hotel to celebrate their first wedding anniversary. It was an imposing hotel, fancy wall hangings, a mahogany bar, and bell hops with crisp clean uniforms. Leroy was a little intimidated by the whole place. The clerk who checked them in was a gray-haired gentleman, without a hair out of place or a wrinkle in his suit, handed him the room key.

Leroy Stuttered when he got nervous and managed a muffled “TTThank YYou,” as he and his wife followed the Bell hop to the room.
A short time later the clerk received an unusual call from Leroy’s room.

“I NNNeed Help! My wife is hhhaving a fit… senddd Help.”

The bellhop a young man in his twenties was dispatched. He was met at the door by a naked Leroy, his naked wife flopped wildly on the bed in the throes of an epileptic fit.
Not sure what to do, it was the bellhops turn to stammer, “What ddo you want me tto do?”

Leroy’s wife was gorgeous, well-built and she was thrashing around on the bed like a bucking bronco at the rodeo.
Leroy did the best he could to speak, “We hhhave tto tie hher ttto the bbed.”

While the young bellhop had thought he’d seen it all…this was a new one on him.
She was strong and she fought them every step of the way.
Finally, the two of them had her tied down to the bed with some of the sheets.
Struggling to catch his breath the bellhop asked, “What do we do now?”

At that moment Leroy leaped in the air and mounted his wife, and yelled in a clear voice, “Cuttterrr loose.”

I told that joke to Chuck when we first started working together many moons ago. From that day on, any time a limb was ready to be dropped; Chuck with a twinkle in his eye and a grin on his face would always yell, “Ccuttter Loose.”

That was more than 35 years ago. I called Chuck the other day just to see how he was doing, no real reason other than I was thinking about him. When he picked up the phone all I said was “Ccuttter loose.”

I couldn’t see through the phone, but I knew he was smiling that old familiar smile, just through the tone in his voice, “Bobby Brown, how ya been?”
Old friends and old jokes… it doesn’t get any better.

 

LOVE THIS!! Hahahaha such a great story. Just the way you tell it, too, is great. I would love to be able to communicate such ideas in such a clear but well-written way.

I love the concept completely and can relate, too, just like the little inside things between my guy and I no one else will ever get. I don't know how or where I could include this within that particular scene, though. Searching my mind now for just anywhere this cool might be implemented.