How can I write everything—what's impertant—in short sentences?

Hello Writing-Community,


So, sometimes it is easy to write what you wanna say in short sentence. For example, the sentences “I hate thunder.” is one of these sentences. I mean it says the important thing. It says in three words that the character hate thunder.

But when I want to describe something or compare something then it’s difficult. When I write “I hate thunder. In particular, when the wind howls like a hungry beast that hides itself in the forest and wait to eat me.” then it’s a too long sentence for my liking. The 2nd sentence. The first is ok.

So, how can I improve my skills in writing shorter sentences but say everything important?

I wanna write shorter sentences to make it easier for the reader. So, duh!


Do you have any tips?

Bye,

beehoney

 

There's absolutely nothing wrong with long sentences, and ideally you should probably vary sentence length from short to long, but if you want to focus on short sentences, I'd recommend three things:

1. Trim the fat and condense.
2. Periods everywhere.
3. Blunt language.

To use your sentence as an example -

I hate thunder. In particular, when the wind howls, like a hungry beast that hides itself hidden in the forest and waiting to eat me.​

This is a little shorter by word count, but it's also a fragment, which is a stylistic choice you have to be aware of. It's not necessarily 'easy' reading - but long sentences don't have to be hard to read, by the same token.

The other method I've got would be breaking sentences down into smaller ones (periods everywhere).

I hate thunder. In particular, when the wind howls. It sounds like a hungry beast that hiding itself in the forest. I feel as though it's waiting to eat me.​

More words, more sentences. In my opinion this kind of style comes off as rather simplistic. You're going to end up repeating yourself a lot without joining up clauses that have the same subject - we've got three sentences here that are all about the wind, and we keep having to either say 'it' so that each sentence has a subject, or else we end up with fragments. After a while this kind of thing would probably get tedious.

The third thing would just be something like this.

I hate thunder. Especially when it's windy.​

Short, simple sentences with no flourish or imagery - right to the point, just like your first one. It's also going to be a bit boring to read after a while, but it's utilitarian and serves its purpose.

In my opinion, all of these sentences are fine. You should just probably use a mixture of these types of sentences, rather than relying on just one.

 

Short sentences are very difficult for me to write because I want to add description and create a deeper setting past a older child/young adult category so take my following advice with a grain of salt.

You can drop off anything that you consider extra. Instead of "Sal has eyes as dark as the emerald seas of Avalon" you can write "Sal has green eyes." Instead of "The night rose to swallow me up" you can put "Night fell quickly." Comparisons (and contrasts) can be a bit more tricky, but it can boil down to "Thunder is better than sunshine" or "The moon shone like the sun."

I also suggest reading books with shorter lines and aimed at readers with limited reading comprehension. Rick Riordan often creates short sentences such "I hate thunder." He does add some more in-depth description in other places, but I've noted shorter sentences as well. It helps that he has a tendency to write from either first-person or a third-person that centers from one person's point of view.