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  1. Sclavus

    Sclavus Active Member

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    Distinguished Service Cross...Too Much?

    Discussion in 'Character Development' started by Sclavus, Oct 9, 2017.

    I've been kicking around the idea of giving my main character, Vincent, a Distinguished Service Cross.

    As a sergeant in the Army, Vincent was sent to Aleppo, Syria. He was tasked with escorting a Syrian official friendly to American forces from morning prayers to the official's workplace. While passing near a public park, Sergeant Achan's convoy was struck by an IED and immediately attacked by the enemy from rooftops across the street.

    Under small arms fire, Sergeant Achan pulled his unconscious corporal from his own vehicle, placed him under cover in the park, and returned to engage the enemy with his M4 carbine. He then checked the other vehicles to find the remaining escort team and the official dead. Despite the danger to himself, Sergeant Achan continued to return fire with his own weapons and those of his deceased comrades.

    Wounded and burned, Sergeant Achan fired his ammunition dry, and threw grenades at the enemy while attempting to establish contact with reinforcements. After calling in air support, Sergeant Achan was engaged by a second wave of no less than a dozen of the enemy. He continued to lay down suppressive fire with an M240 light machine gun, until the weapon was compromised by enemy fire.

    Sergeant Achan then returned to Corporal Matthew Besser in the park, who regained consciousness upon Sergeant Achan's return. The sergeant used Corporal Besser's weapons to continue firing at the enemy until they had retreated. It was then that a donkey strapped with explosives was goaded by the enemy toward Sergeant Achan's position.

    Corporal Matthew Besser shielded Sergeant Achan from the blast, dying in the process of saving the sergeant as air support arrived to finish off the remaining three attackers who had begun to move in toward the blast site.

    In some ways, it feels like too much.
     
  2. Seren

    Seren Writeaholic

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    I don't really know anything about modern warfare, but I think I'd lost my belief by the donkey. Maybe not so much because its a donkey, but more because...why? I mean, sure, a long time ago, people have been known to set pigs on fire and send them charging towards the enemy to turn the tide of the battle, but I have a really hard time imagining it in the world of explosives and gunfire. Couldn't they just get close enough to throw a grenade? Or shoot at your sergeant while he was distracted by the corporal? (Then again, I'm not really that knowledgeable, sorry.)

    I think how long it goes on for needs to be trimmed down, too. Until here...

    ...I was thinking that it was all going quite heroically and it was a believable incident. (Although I was wondering why he would return to engage with the enemy when he's outnumbered rather than trying to stay with the corporal and applying some first aid or something. Or at least keeping an eye on him, given that he's unconscious. However, if the enemy was closing in and he had no choice but to fire away from there, I think that would work.)

    Anyway, after that point in your post, I did feel that it was all too much. A second wave of soldiers just seemed impossible for him to survive and it cheapened his achievement at surviving the first lot. And, again, I'm not sure why he would have left the corporal alone when he was outnumbered and might have wanted to keep an eye on his comrade.

    But the corporal shielding the sergeant from something and dying would be beautifully tragic if well-written.

    I hope that helps! My apologies if I've just said a bunch of stuff that makes no sense. :)
     
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  3. Iain Aschendale

    Iain Aschendale Lying, dog-faced pony Marine Supporter Contributor

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    Is he out of ammo or not?

    I'm torn on this one, simply because I don't know enough about your story to give an informed call. I'm going to tentatively say it's too much because (and please don't take offense, this is my opinion only) your initial impression of the number and ranks of officers that would be running around a normal-ish infantry platoon was somewhat inflated. I guess what I'm saying is that I'd advise you to take your initial impulses and knock about 20-25% off of them. Pull the second wave of attackers off, give him a nice Bronze or even Silver Star, and he still gets to be a hero without being overdone.

    Just my initial impressions, mind you, and subject to change as events warrant.

    ETA: A quick look at Wikipedia shows about thirty DSCs (Army only, didn't look into the Navy Cross or the Air Force Cross) awarded in since 9/11. That's a very select group of people.
     
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  4. Sclavus

    Sclavus Active Member

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    Thank you both. To answer your question, @Iain Aschendale, I forgot to explain that he'd fired all his rifle and pistol ammunition, then grabbed the Bravo from the vehicle's roof.

    This is all back story, but it's a moment that defines Vincent. Here's what needs to happen:

    1. Vincent is so heavily scarred from the attack he'll be discharged from the Army. Preferably he'll be scarred from burns and shrapnel down his left side. He cannot lose any limbs or digits.

    2. Corporal Besser saves him, and dies horrifically doing so.

    3. Vincent is awarded a medal for his actions...a medal he hates but won't let go. He'll give this medal to someone else later.

    I agree that the second wave is too much. I originally had him dragging Besser in between dumpsters in the park and using his rifle to lay down some precision fire despite being wounded. Vincent went to sniper school, but couldn't hack it mentally, though he can kill with a rifle very well. This juxtaposes with his role in the actual story, where he'll get to use sniper rifles.

    As for the donkey, I got that idea years ago. It doesn't have to be a donkey bomb, but it's that explosion that kills Besser and maims Vincent. It could be just about anything.

    I think I'll knock it down to a silver star, and make it more simple. Vincent's patrol is hit, he maneuvers the burning vehicle toward the park, drags a very much awake Besser toward cover, and begins shooting at the rooftops (with precision) to give pinned soldiers a chance to move. Everything's going okay until an RPG hits the vehicle Vincent was driving, and somebody pitches a grenade. Besser smothers the grenade, and Vincent is knocked back into the burning debris of the vehicle by that explosion. They are able to help him from there, but not before his left side is badly damaged by flaming whatever and shrapnel.

    Does that play?
     
  5. Shadowfax

    Shadowfax Contributor Contributor

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    What strikes me about this is...

    1/ Pulling an unconscious man out of a jeep and placing him under cover whilst under small-arms fire, whilst heroic, is stupid. You're going to be too busy fighting off the enemy. Plus, moving an unconscious man is helluva hard; he's a dead weight; and you're a sitting duck.
    2/ The enemy have wiped out the rest of the escort team; but now they keep missing?
    3/ He's shooting with his right hand, throwing grenades with his left and calling in air support...with his head?
    4/ He lays down suppressive fire until his weapon is "compromised by enemy fire". Do you mean an enemy round struck it? And didn't seriously injure the sergeant?
    5/ Having had his weapon compromised, he's now unarmed and makes it back to his corporal in the park - again evading the enemy fire.
    6/ He's then attacked with a loaded donkey. Donkeys are notoriously difficult to get to do what they don't want; so the "goader" needs to be up-close-and-personal...and an easy target for Achan...and the goading stops and the donkey stops where he is and goes off in the middle of no-man's-land.
    7/ I'm not buying that the corporal bravely gives his life; I reckon Achan hid behind him...
    8/ Three attackers left (out of how many? I'm seeing a remake of Zulu here.) when air support arrives.
    8a/ Having already wiped out a Jack Bauer-load of enemy, what's another three to the sergeant?
    8b/ Just how distant were the attackers? I'm seeing a friendly-fire incident, or at least collateral damage, and a posthumous award.

    ETA: Your second scenario is a lot more credible.
     
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  6. Sclavus

    Sclavus Active Member

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    All very good points. Thank you for the feedback.
     
  7. KiloBravo

    KiloBravo Member

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    Sure, push a shopping cart in that direction instead of donkey. =)
     
  8. Sclavus

    Sclavus Active Member

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    I'll use my second scenario and have someone throw an M67 grenade for Besser to jump on. I figure Besser's body will shield Vincent, but also knock him unconscious and throw him toward the burning vehicle. To justify the silver star, Vincent's going to probably have to kill a lot of the rooftop enemies, so he'll be distracted by that and won't see the grenade.
     
  9. big soft moose

    big soft moose An Admoostrator Admin Staff Supporter Contributor Community Volunteer

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    Also action on the ground in Syria would be a political war so medals would be few and far between... if you read War by Sebastian Junger (the book that accompanies the documentary Restrepo) it tells a story about a guy in the 173rd who assaults through a Taliban ambush to save their point man from being abducted, runs through heavy machine gun fire, kills two talibs up close, saves his colleague and fires out all his ammo resorting to pulling mags from his colleagues vest... when the action is over he basically gets a nod and handshake...

    Likewise there was a British guy in afghanisatan who fell on a grenade to save his colleagues, and somehow survived. He got an MiD.

    On the otherhand Johnson Beharry got a VC (the british equivalent of the CMH) for his actions in Iraq where he drove a warrior armour vehicle out of an ambush after it got hit 13 times by rpgs - driving with his head sticking out of the driver hatch because the drivers optics were out
     
  10. Sclavus

    Sclavus Active Member

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    I'm not so worried about that. My story relies on an alternate history.
     
  11. Seren

    Seren Writeaholic

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    I think it does. :)
     

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