How would you describe this dress?

Hello everyone!

I love the vampire concept in books but never managed to find a good book about them that would show how much of a deadly and scary creatures they are. The struggle some must have gone through. The pain and suffering. While some manage to embrace it without any issues. For that, I'm writing my own! I'm having very hard time with descriptions because of me, not knowing this language 100%. English is not my mother language but I always find it more comfortable speaking/writing in this language than my own. For that, I always have hard time describing certain things. Most importantly dresses.

And imagine my struggle when I am writing about a Vampire Queen and I need to describe breath-taking gowns and I simply just can't. I can't even mostly understand others' descriptions when I am reading books. For example, I can't paint a picture of a dress when I read this:

The sleeves and blouse were vaguely of a gypsy cut, all done in syrupy browns and shades of violet flecked with white that seemed to undulate of their own volition. The skirt consisted of ruffled tiers of burnt orange satin that ended in a ragged hem just above the ankle, as if the seamstress had suddenly been called away before completing her task. A spidery black lace bodice consummated the ensemble.

I need to learn how to describe clothes without needing way too many fancy words, for me and for people like me. Like, how would one describe this dress? The vampire is wearing this dress and it would be from her perspective.



And what would you recommend I should do to improve myself? Thank you all for help!

 

Pretty. This is a black corset dress with a bouffant net or chiffon skirt and an elaborate shrug embellished with beaded motifs and draped with ropes of black beads.

Tell you what. Go over to https://sewing.patternreview.com/ and ask the folks there how to describe the dress. Some of the designers and couture makers will do a much better job than I can since they'll have the proper terminology. Specifically post in https://sewing.patternreview.com/SewingDiscussions/topic/115797 which is devoted to haute couture fashions that inspire people.

 

And don't forget to come back and let us inquiring minds know, too

 

Hi @MeriaThePigeon and welcome to our humble home!

There have been many threads like this in the past, for different kinds of dresses, and there are certain important things to pay attention to, about how, when, and why a writer would describe a dress in detail. You might want to take a look at some of those threads: Search: "how describe dress" @ Writingforums.org

Here's a good one that's pretty short and to the point, with some excellent advice from QueenOfPlants, Catrin Lewis, and Peachalulu: How can I describe this African dress and jewelry?

 

Where is your quoted description from? It shows up on a few Google results, but I can't determine the actual source.

 

Thank you for both the definition and help. This kind of definition is exactly what I am looking for. Simple and on point. I managed to see the dress in my head when I read what you typed. Now I just need to learn how to type like this.

 

Oh it is from this website, from one of the threads. I was looking for a way to learn how to describe a dress when I stumbled on this web site. I didn't tagged the person however, I probably should have. Apologies! But here is the link for the thread:

https://www.writingforums.org/threads/how-do-you-describe-this-dress.155493/

The user I quoted is Iain Sparrow, apparently banned..?

 

I can share the part where I need to describe the dress here, if it helps. Keep in mind that this is from the perspective of the Vampire Queen herself. She is ancient and old school and just woken up from a long slumber. Trying to paint her as a posh person who only talks when needed and hardly shows any sign of emotion.

----

I also saw that he wanted to tell me something, but because of my reaction, I suppose, he was too afraid to open his mouth. I mentally sighed and stopped in my tracks. Turning around, my gaze landed on his as I raised a single eyebrow at him. I didn’t have to speak a single word. It was a skill I mastered over the centuries.

He stopped right in front of me and looked at me with hesitation in his eyes for a second. He then took a deep breath and started to speak with a rather respective and formal tone. “I wanted to say… your dress… as beautiful as it is, it is not something one would wear unless they were going to a dance or somewhere special. You need new clothes, to change to something more… relaxed, daily attire.” I felt my lips move slightly, fighting the frown that wanted to come out. Richard must have seen the displeasure on my features, he quickly added. “Also, if you want to get out of this building, you are going the wrong way.”

I continued to look at him for a short while longer; dread and concern were hammering in his chest. When I delayed in responding, I could see that anxiety was enveloping him like an aura. I turned my gaze around the stone walls. They were all painted white and all looked the same. He was right, I had no idea where I was going. Then my eyes went down to look at myself. What was wrong with my dress?

It was a black corset dress with a chiffon skirt. The corset was adorned with little white gems that shone each time they caught a glimpse of light. From above, the corset was usually bare; however, I felt like wearing something to cover my shoulders. For that, an elaborate shrug embellished with beaded motifs and extra pieces of lace was hugging my skin, going all the way down to the floor, and covering my arms. The back side was draped with ropes of black beads, holding the two shoulder pads together. It wasn’t much, but it was one of my everyday dresses.

“What could possibly be more casual than this dress? This is one of my daily attires.”

----

Thank you Catriona Grace for the description help. I grabbed what you typed and tried to put it into a shape.

 

Glad to help, honey. It is a gorgeous dress.

Just for fun, you might try rewriting that descriptive paragraph without using the word "was" more than once or twice. Example: "Little white gems adorned the corset..." instead of "The corset was adorned with little white gems..." This is the difference between active voice and passive voice.

 

Thank you! That is a big help, I will do that now right away.

Its hard to write something when you do not speak that language to its full potential and have no one else to show/ask help from.

 

Obviously you are not fazed by doing something difficult and I admire you for it. The only other language I have any claim to speaking is Spanish, and your English is far better than my Spanish.

 

This line at the end: "It wasn’t much, but it was one of my everyday dresses." - I'd delete it. Because the next line of dialogue where she says "What could possibly be more casual than this dress?" says exactly the same thing, and says it better. This way, the point drives home better than being told first and then hearing the dialogue. It feels redundant with both there. Well done on the description - it reads well I think! Not sure I'd mention "shoulder pads" just because it reminds me of old school blazers that are far from elegant, but the rest reads well

 

The dress is extremely beautiful. I'd love to hear if that forum every sent any feedback for a description.

 

Well I tried to write a sentence and decided just to leave you instead with some stuff that popped into my head. I may be entirely wrong but thinking this is an evening gown circa 1940s-1950s. If so there's probably some crinoline underneath that bad boy to stiffen up the hemline.
Neatly cinched bustier
Sweeping bustline (think: titillating hint of cleavage)
A cascade of flowing black chiffon that swept the air in her turn (this is an A-line cut of gown)
Understated glamor and elegance carried more by the wearer's feminine charm than ornamentation (I think of Grace Kelly when I see this gown!)
Classic
Accentuated her hourglass figure


As a staunch fashionist whose history and knowledge of corsets pre-dates the modern trend- This is NOT a corset- it is referred to as a bustier which is a top or (bodice) with stays or boning sewn into the dress's lining to help support the shape of the garment, itself, NOT the wearer. A corset is vastly different as it is a foundation garment used to shape and support the figure of the wearer as a bra or Spanx might. I know these days they are used interchangeably with little to no differentiation between the two- but if you wish to dress you characters well and describe their wardrobe in a way that matches their knowledge of fashion, I recommend brushing up on some basic fashion concepts, easily enough done through some discerning Google searching. Familiarize yourself with basic terminology and styles like cuts. lengths, hemlines, fabrics, etc. and you'll do a world of effective description without having to be poetic. Unless you are writing for a fashion journal, than by all means do! If this is going to be something you spend a lot of time with I would check out Amazon for some books on fashion or visit some antique clothing auction sites or museum websites. There are lots of resources out there for anyone who wants to learn about fashion.

I only say this because as a reader who is knowledgeable about fashion and your goal is to focus on their style... with incorrect word choice what you're wanting me a the reader to envision and what I actually envision may be entirely different. I agree that I am unsure how necessary it is to describe to such detail the gown, it does not need to be a lot. I have characters in my story who are complete and total fashionistas- I don't just mean a la mode in the latest things, we are talking fashion revolutionaries on the 1960s London scene and Studio 54. Wealthy, jet setters... even then though what they are wearing is a huge part of their character(s) only enough detail to get the point across is all you need. Maybe a bold accent piece like a large red rose or dirty athletic shoes. If I was writing a story to express a love for 1970s fashion... I'd be describing bell bottoms and platforms with gold and acrylic heels but it's not important until it is the outfit itself that matters. Even when my character makes an appearance dressed in full 17th century garb with the whole shebang... powdered wig, panniers... it's just as brief as that., 17th century gown that would have Marie Antoinette jealous and that it's the character's eyes that make them recognizable peering out from under the porcelain white face paint. This isn't how it is written but you can really get into a shit ton of detail there, but it's not necessary to tell the readers that type of fabric. Overuse of detail, to me, can be a distraction from the story. Like why are we stopping the flow of action to talk about pocket linings? I doubt ANY of this is helpful! But I when describing my favourite pieces of clothing... I don't talk about the shoulder pads, for example, or zipper fly or... you could say you loved the way broad shoulder line of the wrap makes you feel imperial and strong whilst underneath, the dress, so soft and fluid, maintains your sensual femininity.


Her shoulders are hidden under the wrap but it is a sheer material revealing a teasing hint of bare flesh under a heavily embellished wrap.