Hi all The basis of this thread is the word 'fart'. Now before I get banned, can it be taken in to account that this is a serious question based on a serious problem. I am writing a comedy based novel, which is going er well, even if a little slowly. Revamping already as the story builds various parts. This is perhaps not the way but it suits me at the moment. I have an 8 year old boy as a major character and at one stage whilst in the school classroom in front of fellow pupils and a rather serious minded teacher, lets out a fart. I want to demonstrate in words the loudness and the fact its smelly so the reader has no doubts of its affect on the ozone layer or the volume level. The other kids find it funny, the teacher certainly does not. My question, how would you state such a fart took place, but without just stating "a loud fart took place". It has been suggested a made up word such as 'paarrpp' could be used, but this doesnt seem to work in my mind. What would you use or recommend, bearing in mind its a child, although its not a childs book. It must demonstrate the severity of breaking wind including the loudness. Any help would be welcomed for I think a very different type of question. I have searched the archieve but for some reason I can not find a smilar question. Thanks for looking Kind regards Phil
I would not spell it out, but instead describe the sound. We recently had a similar question concerning the sound made when someone gives a 'raspberry.' You should simply state or describe. Just spelling out the sound cheats you, the writer, of some potentially comedic opportunities. The low, wet foghorn of digestion gone awry was heard three rooms away in Miss Barker's spelling class. She had to re-administer that day's spelling quiz as the scores all fell well bellow being saved by any curve.
Although Wreybies' example may well be far too poetic or literary to serve your needs, I would have to agree his suggestion is probably the best solution.
is that from before or after the wet foghorn? Seriously if you change the title of the thread and ask yourself how do you smell one? it may help. Use the reactions of those around you and maybe if it is a boy that face that says this is kinda gross but it smells so good too that they get. My kids are like that when in rotten cabbage patch kid mode. Hmm I am thinking this could give me a whole new scene in one of my books
Jack's insides were squirming like a bait pail of worms. Mr. Bailey was droning something about yesterday's history assignment, but all Jack could hear was a gurgling in his guts. Surprisingly, no one else seemed to notice. To his horror, a trumpet blast erupted from his seat. Mr. Bailey stopped speaking in mid-word, and looked straight in his direction. Jack looked accusingly at Eddie. Eddie stared back at him, then turned away and started gagging. Behind him, Jack heard Shirley push her chair back as she too began to retch. "Cripes, Jack!" she said, and scrambled out of her seat...
Cog and Wrey, you crack me up. Wet foghorns, trumpets and gagging, mmm lovely. Gross, but the descriptions work beautifully. I am taken back to my educational incarceration with disgusting little boys who liked nothing more than to yell "hey! Check out this pump!" followed by a 'signature' fart. Ugh!
Precisely! See how much more fun was had than would have been had there just been a pthbtbtbtbtbtbtbt!
unless you use my 3 year old trick and turn it into a machine gun sound he turns his bottom in any available face and goes bang your doomed (yes he maybe speech delayed but that is one sentence he can manage)
I'd start before the actual event. The eight years old boy is aware of what is about to happen and he does every thing within his power to try and prevent the inevitable. Get inside the chid's head. Explain how he is feeling and why is he feeling this way. Had this happened to him or someone else before,Is he being bullied? Descibe His effords to suppress. Squeezing his cheeks together, holding his breath/ bloated red face, get the idea build up to the moment. Then you can mention that all his efforts to suppress the fart was in vain for instead of minimizing the effect of the fart it maximized it. (exaggerate) Have fun.
Or give the fart a personality of its own. Make it the kid's adversary. Describe how he manages to suppress it, but halfway up his bowels it makes a u-turn and comes back with a vengeance, determined to break free of his body.
By showing how people react to it. The first two paragraphs establish that Eustace reads very loud - so loud that it can mask a fart. In the third paragraph, we see that every single person in the classroom heard the fart and where it came from, despite Eustace's loud reading. The reader can then infer how loud the fart is. Next, we see how the students react to the smell of the fart. We are also shown that Mr. Johnson is a) sceptical, and b) tries to stay in control, so when even he can't control himself, the reader can infer that the smell must be really bad. By saying that the noise "erupted" from his pants, we also make it sound stronger. You can probably improve on it by turning it into a metaphor with a volcano.
Allow me to offer a quote from a famous comedian. "Its not the smell, its the burning of my eyes." - George Carlin.
Thanks to all Hi All I have really enjoyed this thread, well yes OK I did start it so suppose I am slighty biased. I was so close to the goal that I couldnt see the ball. I was looking for a noise of some sort, but as has been said, and correctly so, I would have lost an opportuntiy of adding to the humour by actually putting it in to descriptive but humerous words. Thanks all for your help and stimulating my grey matter to produce a better opening section. Speak soon Kind regards Phil
You could use an onomatopoeia if it fits. Just the simple word: Fart! or Poot! or something. Although I'd be careful a sit may read awkwardly.
