1. lauthor1

    lauthor1 New Member

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    Show Not Tell Crushes

    Discussion in 'Character Development' started by lauthor1, Apr 6, 2020.

    I am writing a story and would like for my main character to have a crush on another character. However, I have not had a crush since I was very young, and cannot remember how I felt. It is in 3rd person by the way. Do you have any advice on showing that he has a crush on her?
     
  2. Cave Troll

    Cave Troll It's Coffee O'clock everywhere. Contributor

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    But you are still young. :p

    Things like flutters in the belly.
    Lots of gazing at the other person.
    Thoughts and feelings about person.
    :)
     
  3. peachalulu

    peachalulu Member Reviewer Contributor

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    Have you had a crush on a movie star? Nearly the same thing. It's that gushy - THERE HE IS!!! sort of thing. Sped up heart beat, sweaty palms, doodling initials, gathering the nerve just to say hello, worrying about being too overt or not overt enough - you want them to know you like them not like them like them. You also don't want to get caught staring or stalking them. You play it and cool and fail. You write them crappy poems you think are oh so beautiful and pace and debate and worry and then shove the love note through their locker slot and then think - damn, I shouldn't have done that.
    You can't sleep, you sigh, your day is marked when you will see him again. And you're filled with an ache in between that time when you're not seeing him. And then there's the anticipation when you know you will. The crushing let down when they don't smile back. The victory when they do.
    That sort of thing.
     
  4. jannert

    jannert Retired Mod Supporter Contributor

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    Gosh, you brought back a memory. Knowing you're going to pass that person in the hallway as you change classes every day (in a big high school.) And you're ready to say 'hi' every time, and are so happy when they say 'hi' back, or even ...omigod, bliss ...they say 'hi' first! :)
     
  5. Aaron Smith

    Aaron Smith Banned Contributor

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    Man, girls never said "hi" to me. I was a loser. Still am, but I was, too.
     
  6. jannert

    jannert Retired Mod Supporter Contributor

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    I think there's a difference between having a crush on somebody you've never actually met ...like my best friend in high school, who was determined she was going to marry Paul McCartney ...and having a crush on somebody you know. Somebody who MIGHT—just might—at some point in the future, develop a crush on you as well. That's what happens in movies, right?

    The first is just daydreaming, unless you have ways and means to make it happen. It's fine, but isn't really life.

    But the second? Ah, that's where the scary stuff—the real stuff—happens.

    He is nice to you, maybe even flirts with you a little bit. He's two years older—you're a sophomore and he's a senior. You sit across the table from him in study hall, and pass pictures and notes back and forth when the study hall supervisor isn't looking. You think he's funny and devilishly handsome, and kind—wears a varsity letterman's jacket because he's the captain of the swim team—and you would certainly say yes if he asked you out. (That was back in the day, when only boys asked girls out, not the other way around.)

    And then he mentions his girlfriend—his long-time girlfriend. Somebody who doesn't go to your school at all, so how were you to know? And that's it. It's not about you at all. :( He likes you, and certainly smiles and says hi when you pass in the hallway, but that's it. You're not even actual friends; you're just study hall table partners.

    It's not the end of the world or anything ...it's a crush, a possibility, a silly notion... not true love. But it's something you don't forget either.

    Because he was kind, and funny, and did seem to like me, I remember him fondly. And damn, he WAS a bit of all right!
     
    Last edited: Apr 7, 2020
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  7. flawed personality

    flawed personality Contributor Contributor

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    You reverted me back to Year 6 in primary school then.
    I wonder what did happen to Joe? :superthink:
     
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  8. Cave Troll

    Cave Troll It's Coffee O'clock everywhere. Contributor

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    Found this and it reminded me of this thread. :p
    [​IMG]
     
  9. dbesim

    dbesim Moderator Staff Supporter Contributor

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    Guess you could still be a romantic without really experiencing l’amour yourself. You could be clued up around the theme pending on the rom-coms you watch and the novels you read or listening closely to romantic song lyrics. In our stories we could create characters who are completely different to us pending on some inspiration, writing about some situations we have not experienced ourselves. In terms of capturing the “feeling” I think a few of the (above) posts in the thread have done a decent job. But if you reckon you’re a virgin (not assuming you are..) but if you were then maybe you could capture your character/s from that POV instead :D
     
    Last edited: Apr 7, 2020
  10. Fervidor

    Fervidor Senior Member

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    Well, I've only been in love once, and that was almost twenty years ago when I was still a hormonal teenager.

    From what I recall, though, I basically found myself thinking about her a lot, and the thought of her made me happy in and of itself. She was fairly attractive but not the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, even in person. Though, somehow the way I felt made her appear more beautiful to me - like her imperfections seemed unimportant. I can't tell what exactly made me fall for her, maybe just the way she laughed, or her general spirit, or that she was nice to me and always seemed gentle and warm. Maybe all of those things.

    I never told her how I felt, since I deduced from a certain incident that she didn't think of me that way, and being her friend at a time when those were in short supply for me was valuable enough. I never saw her again after we graduated school, but for years after that I'd catch a glimpse of blonde hair while walking down the street and turn to see if it was her. I don't know what I would have done if it was. Probably nothing much, just stop and talk, see how she was doing, talk old memories and so on. Maybe I just wanted to see that smile again. On Every Street became one of my all time favorite songs, because I could relate to the lyrics so well.

    Not exactly a happy ending, I know, but don't feel sad for me: In retrospect I strongly suspect it wouldn't have worked out due to my own issues probably making me inherently unfit for a relationship, and I'm honestly just happy I had that experience. Just knowing what love feels like, you know?

    Basically: She makes him happy, in an intuitive, instinctive way he may not be able to fully explain. She'll be very beautiful to him, on a level more sublime than merely appreciating her appearance. (Though finding her physically attractive may of course still be a part of it.) He'll have a certain yearning for her, not to possess her but just for the privilege to be near her. It may take the form of a benign, low-key obsession as his mind will tend to drift towards the thought of her.

    In my experience, at least.
     
    Last edited: Apr 8, 2020

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