My story is from the pov of a female lead, and around 10 chapters in she moves into a new, fully furnished house but I'm not sure what to do next. Around 70% of the story takes place in the house, so should I have her look around and describe the layout, all of the rooms and everything in them all at once or should she take it slow and describe things throughout the story as they come into it? Also because the house is new to her and the reader, how much does she have to describe and how much detail should she go into? Any help would be greatly appreciated
Don't overkill right off. Have her walk in the door, and explain her first impressions. Space, light, is it modern or old and cozy? Shabby chic? Does it fit her personality and what we alread know about her? Perfect fit so to speak? Not always, but my experience has been that the females always want to see the bedroom and the bath first. If the bath is well it and clean, and the bedroom feel 'nesty' it's a big step forward. As she learnes the house, intro certain things she sees, maybe gazes at. She'll go into the kitchen and check out the cupboard space. Always! Just don't do all of this at once in a big 'ol info dump. Don't forget the exterior. Is this first person?
Like Maddy says, do not overdo it with an information dump too quick. You want to make the reader feel emotion, so a way you can do that is try and work in the two powerhouses of senses, taste and smell. Just small lines of either one of those will really make the reader feel like they are in there with the woman character as she looks about the house. Out of curiosity , she swung a door open on one of the kitchen cabinets, and saw her distorted reflection in the stainless steel of a mixing bowl hanging on the inside of the door. Oblong with a lip, it reminded her of her mothers mixing bowls; of brownies being made, and the the sound of her spoon scraping the last morsels of batter as she licked the bowl clean. You do not have to describe an entire kitchen to the reader; with two sentences I brought memories of childhood flooding back, and they picture their mother's house at age 8 with the smells and tastes of brownies being made... Or you could add contrast too with a short, powerhouse of a sentence. By that I mean, if its an old house, who would not remember... 'Yes, it is fully furnished, but an older house still", she thought, as she happened to step on a floorboard by the bathroom door. Feeling it flex under her weight, she heard the distinctive metallic click, as the latch on the bathroom door fell away, and the door crept open. But even if the house is brand new and fully furnished, you could give the house a flaw. Two-thirds of the way down the hallway, she stepped, and thought she heard a floorboard creak. She stepped back, then stepped again, and yet...there it was again. 'Odd,', she thought, 'and on a brand new house too, but no matter', as she moved to the bedroom... These sentences are all quite relatable to most readers, so they identify their experiences with houses, to this house, and so you do not have to describe every detail of it. They are already filling in the blanks.
As a male reader, I would want to know what kind of house it was. Craftsman, maybe ranch, or bungalow would give me a better vision of the inside. Like with the hallway in DriedPen’s third comment, I would guess it is a ranch style.
Is there something out of the ordinary about the house? If not, I don't see much reason to describe it at all. Everyone knows what a house is and looks like... what bathrooms and kitchens do. Unless it's like The Shining where the domicile is nearly a character, I'm not sure how the layout would matter much.
I take something of a que from writers like James Paterson and Janet Evonovich. My wife eats that stuff up. I've never finished anything by either, but have read some, and know both appeal to women. What I noticed is that whenever a character is introduced, a big part of the development is elaborate descriptions of what they are wearing. A woman entering a furnished space would likeley view ot with a very critical eye. She will either love it, or hate it. try working it from that angle.
I absolutely agree with Maddy. If you take me on a minutia-driven tour where nothing really happens other than "this is here and that is there", I'm likely to tap out, and with a quickness. Big picture, first impressions. Any room is going to have a couple of standout items that catch the eye. That's perfect. Give me the rest later, when it makes sense to give, tied into whatever is happening.
I second that. We're talking about the MC's impressions, and one of the first impressions is when she sees the house for the first time. She hasn't seen the kitchen yet, so it's not time to describe that room. That time will come when she actually enters the room, looks around, cooks a meal in it. Same with the other rooms. As the floor layout and the existence of the other rooms become important to the plot, she'll encounter them, and that's the time to bring them into the picture. But it's not the rooms that are the story, it's what's happening to the the MC. It can be as simple as describing the room and its furniture as "comfortable." Unless your reader or the MC is a furniture fan, you don't need to describe the couch, just how it feels when the MC sits or lays on it.
There are also plenty of women architects / designers / fans that are very much interested in home styles and designs, and can pick them out with just a few details. Maybe even name the architect on notable houses. Jus' saying. The house pictured is a 1920s-1930s Craftsman bungalow, is it not? Maybe a little earlier? 1910? Many of these homes could be purchased via the Sears catalog, along with a car in the drive. There are whole neighbourhoods of these Sears homes. And they are very cozy! Judging from the landscaping, I am tempted to say that this home is in California.
I didn’t mean to divide the genders. I was thinking of setting the scene before she felt thought or had an impression. Gender aside, I think the vision of a reader would be from his/her background and setting the scene would help that vision. I’m starting to ramble, so I’ll just say—to me it would be a part of setting the scene. ETA Welcome to the OP
Didn't take it that way. Jus' so other readers know that there are a lot of chicks out there who love architectre, chicks who totally dig classic cars, and like to watch giant men knock the crap out of each other on the football field. They can build a stone bench as good or better than any dude. And if they also write, that will show up in their books. It would be an interesting test to see if one can guess the sex of a writer just by reading the first two or so pages.
I have a couple of different houses, and while every style of them is different, my favorite for stories/novels however, is the foursquare. Well, as long as I do not need anything specific that is. I like it because it is easily recognizable by readers so you do not have to go into a lot of details to describe it, and it fits within the time period if 1890 to today, and fits almost any neighborhood in America. My foursquare house happens to be an Aladdin, but it could be a Sears easily enough.
There is some crossover with Craftsman, though not on all homes. I much prefer the true craftsman. In this link you can see the crossover, and the diffs as well. https://www.arrowhillcottage.com/the-main-elements-of-the-american-foursquare-home-style/
The Craftsman house is pretty rare where I live, which is why I do not really have an opinion on the house type. I mean, they are nice, and I have seen several of them, and would buy one if the price was right. I just like the foursquare because by its very title, a reader can understand its basic shape. I would not use this type of house for my main character if the character was in their house a lot in the story. I say that because a log home, or a timber frame, sets an unwritten tone for a characters personality, as an example. Where as a person living in an RV park in a camper also does. I used a foursquare in my current work in progress, because my character goes into his sisters house to talk with his ex-wife in one chapter. I did not need an elaborate house, just a house, and yet it is the conversation in this setting that is important, and not the scene, so a foursquare is perfect for that need. Without a lot of description, I can have the character in a house that is rather nondescript, but one the reader easily envisions. For me, the foursquare is perfect for that, but the Craftsman House would be as well. (Not that it matters, but for my main house, I live in a Timber Frame).
I recommend not going into too much detail of the house unless you know actual real world details. Like a colonial versus a split-level. Same with interiors. Pick out brand names, if your character is the sort of person who would notice them. A reader won't enjoy a plain description of a house unless you're showing them something they didn't already know. Also, for the rooms, pick two or three items that are important, describe them well, and then let the reader's imagination fill in the blanks. Readers have imaginations. You don't have to go into every nook and cranny of a room.
I would think carefully about the feel of the house, and how you can describe it most efficiently. For example, my MC flat (this is a book written in the first person) was described as a "slick, highly appointed bachelor pad - or it would have been twenty years ago." From there I could fill in little details to give some character, such as the Hi-Fi system from the 1989, the deep pile carpet in the bedroom and ash tray flooded with rainwater on the balcony.
You don't need to have your character look around to describe or include details of the house. I recommend skipping the act of "looking around." That's a pretty boring action and an unnecessary filter regardless of the POV. Have something more interesting happen that calls for details of the house to be revealed. And if nothing is calling for those details to come into play, they might not really be needed in the story.
I agree. The only reason for a more detailed inspection is if you're writing a mystery and there's an important clue somewhere in that description. Even then, the trick is to disguise the clue so that it appears to be an interesting but inconsequential thing. Like the crossed swords on the wall in the den that turn out to be the murder weapon, or a red herring intended to make you think it's the murder weapon.
"It was a mistake to think of houses, old houses, as being empty. They were filled with memories, with the faded echoes of voices. Drops of tears, drops of blood, the ring of laughter, the edge of tempers that had ebbed and flowed between the walls, into the walls, over the years. Wasn't it, after all, a kind of life? And there were houses, he knew it, that breathed. They carried in their wood and stone, their brick and mortar a kind of ego that was nearly, very nearly, human." Oh, that was Nora Roberts. That works for old houses nicely I think and makes me wonder how you would describe a new house in similar terms. "That was terrible and overwritten." There, I said it now you don't have to. And now I respectfully disagree with that sentiment. That should save some time.
I don't think the section you quoted is overwritten at all. It's quite nice. One thing to notice is that it's not actually describing the physical appearance of the house so much as the bigger role of what makes up a home. I think the same approach can work with a new home. Maybe instead of the idea of emptiness and traces of memories, the focus would shift to the potential of a new home and what that holds.
What if you did both? I walked into an old house one time an on the closet door, under a layer of whitewash it said, "Haskell lived here with 13 kids, what do you think of that" in kids penmanship? Today upcycling is all the rage. I have a new home, but I have a REAL barnboard wall in my bathroom from our old sawmill. What if you described her finding a scrawled note like I did on the upcycled barnboards that were installed as an accent wall in her kitchen? It is a little harder to pull off, but I am sure you are up for the challenge as a writer. Think of it as a wedding where the bride has "something borrowed old, something new, something borrowed, something discovered that was scrawled on on all barn wood wall?
If a room is singular in its impact on the visitor ... the ashes in the hearth, the portraits of long dead children on the wall, the unmistakeable tang of old cigarette smoke, the creak of the floor as you step on it ... by all means put that description into the story, if it's important to the character. That quote from Nora Roberts reminds me of that song that Peter, Paul, and Mary put on their "Album 1700" It was writtten by Noel Paul Stookey (the "Paul" of PP&M) and H Bannard Robert. Waylon Jennings covered it, too.
