hi all, Not actually sure if the title is correct cause I'm not sure what this should be called but was wondering if the example below would be "okay" for third person omni. It takes a human 1.6 seconds at best to complete a distance of ten metres sprinting. She closed that distance in a little under one. So here we're adding information that is essentially from my voice, my "viewpoint", into the story. Information from the aether. If this isn't the way to do it, what other way could you that wouldn't feel like I'm inserting my self into the story, with information that people in the story may not know?
That's only omniscient if the character was unaware of that information. Which is totally possible, but not an overtly obvious unknown. Omniscient wouldn't scream omniscient until there are reveals of impossible knowledge, head hopping, or massive POV "violations." Maybe the rest of the piece makes the omni apparent, but that sentence by itself does not.
^ Homer does have a point. To be specific, in omni the narrator can do things like describe how the town was built centuries ago, that a truck is barreling down a highway 12 miles outside of town toward a fateful collision with somebody's Volkswagen, or that a character has a small hematoma on one leg that's going to kill them in three years. Things nobody could know. Also in omni you need to move through multiple pov's all the time. Very difficult viewpoint to write, not one I'd care to wrestle with.
It should be noted that there are many gradients--or distances--of 3rd person POV. At extreme distances it brushes up against omni. At close distances, it looks exactly like 1st with only the pronouns flipped. Omni implies a narrator who in any character's head at any time. Your example suggests a distant 3rd where the characters wandering thoughts are mixing with the immediate action. But it's just one sentence... for all we know the rest is omniscient as hell. And then there's objective POV, where the narrator is never in anybody's head, yet is all seeing and all knowing, provided it's not into a character's thoughts. Cormac McCarthy uses that all the time. Works great if you're him but tough in the hands of a novice.
Interesting points. I would say for certain it isn't 3rd person close, more like distant 3rd. Any kind of POV using the "voice" of the character is usually in italics as a though or using a "he/she thought" tag. It's still first draft and requires checking it's consistent but it does tend to follow MC the majority of the time and it's certainly not directly into her head as if it was 1st person with the pronouns flipped.
Yeah, that sounds like distant 3rd. And the further from the head the narrator hovers, the more utility you'll get from italicized thought quotes. When you're in close third you're already narrating the thoughts so italicizing things doesn't make much sense. Sounds like you're good to go!
