?

My first writing ever

  1. Good?

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  2. Not good?

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. james morgan

    james morgan New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2021
    Messages:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0

    I like the dark

    Discussion in 'New Member Introductions' started by james morgan, Dec 23, 2021.

    I like the night.
    The shadows. The easy on the eyes. No glasses. Comfortable.
    Ambient light. Kinda caresses corners of a door frame, door, ceiling and flows along the floor.
    Cool breeze of the air conditioning. Tickling a single hair in my face.
    There is a light I can see from lying in the bed, with 3 pillows-under my head. It’s the kitchen dining area. The wooden frame chandelier that has candle shaped light bulbs cast a prismatic shape around the room that I can see.
    There is a , wait, what, what is that?
    I see........... wait what is it?
    A very ambient light. There! I see it . What is that?
    Its the front porch light. It’s still on. I see it, Through the $9.99 fake wood blinds.
    It’s so strange looking, light dark light dark light dark. The slits, so small but looks so bright. It’s like a striped black and white animal. But scared not to move sensing danger.
    My eyes in a burst, uses all there energy at once, like the rubber band on a balsa wood airplane prop from a 5 and dime store. It revealed a shape. A person. My mind rushes. Is the dead bolt locked? Did I or my wife forget after watering the rose bushes we planted just 4 weeks prior? No no I am sure it locked it’s always locked. Frozen in emotion, frozen in a state of mind.
    It leaves as fast as it burned into my eyes and brain.
    I somehow fall asleep without knowing it. The alarm on my iphone goes off I the next morning with just the vibration. It’s placed under my pillow to wake me up. I fall asleep each night with headphones pluged into my laptop, with some sci-fi move playing. So using the vibrate on my phone works quiet well to wake up to.
    Mornings are a regular thing. It’s tough, it’s painful but u just got to get up and appreciate the day u have. Looking for the best in the day. Warm summer morning with the birds and steamy haze coming from the ground here in Texas. Same as in the fall, the crisp cool mornings with the new birds that show up in October ready for the cold winter that’s on its way. I take a pain pill then in 46 minutes I see what’s real instead of the cloudy pain ridden body that crawls from between the sheets of the bed.
    The day starts with the good morning to the most precious thing on the earth, my wife. Her smile warms my heart and fills my soul for the day, I feed from that one thing for the next 16 hours. Knowing I am not alone knowing I am loved.


     
  2. evild4ve

    evild4ve Critique is stranger than fiction Contributor

    Joined:
    Oct 17, 2021
    Messages:
    1,022
    Likes Received:
    1,148
    Has this request for critique been posted...

    (A) after reading the forum's rules and posting substantial critiques for two other people?
    (B) or not?
     
  3. Homer Potvin

    Homer Potvin A tombstone hand and a graveyard mind Staff Supporter Contributor

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2017
    Messages:
    13,387
    Likes Received:
    21,394
    Location:
    Rhode Island
    No, it has not.
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice