I know that sounds crazy, lol. I hate adverbs with ly endings. They're a pet peeve of mine. It's cringy when I read other people's stuff and they use it widely (haha, jk i did that as a joke). Am I OCD or what? Lol.
E-prime excludes all forms of the verb "to be." Had a student once who wrote an entire novel in e-prime, which was the first time I ever heard of such a thing. An interesting concept that resulted in some convoluted sentences, but provided me with an new exercise for students (and me) to play with.
There's such a thing as taking something too far. The words exist for a reason, and even if you don't like them, the reality is that people use them. There is no reason why a character wouldn't use them in dialogue.
I fully and whole-heartedly support your amazingly and astonishingly excellent approach!! Keep up the gob-smackingly good work!!
Immanuel Kant was capable of writing whole books without including any enthusiasm or fun. Jokes aside, unsure how reading it would feel; if it isn't unnatural then kudos and cheers.
If you were referring to reading Kant (I know you weren't) it feels like what I imagine a migraine headache must feel like (I've never had one).
I haven't read your piece. Sounds fine to me. It can't be as bad as M. Night Shyamalan's After Earth and his fear of the apostrophe.
Not sure if I would have gone so far. You realize adverbs don't need -ly to be hiding there? And then there's the adverbials. (e.g., He screamed into the abyss.) You'd reduce your writing to nothing if you erased the idea of adverbs. I do understand the need to reduce -ly adverbs though. They draw attention to themselves. They're like teenagers. When too many gather together, they're all you hear. We're always free to be ourselves, and reducing adverbs makes your voice uniquely yours. It's kind of your fingerprint. Kind of like how Cormac McCarthy avoids question marks. The prose is stripped of all but the necessary. And of course he decides what's necessary. I'm not going to say anything about his missing quotation marks. Lots of authors do that. It's the question mark that I find weird. But even he sometimes gives in. I wonder what he's doing right now? I'll bet he's sitting before a fire on a cold, desolate prairie, chewing hardtack and staring blankly over the alkalai waste toward the empty horizon. He whispers, without quotes. Interro. He spits into the fire. He seethes. Too many commas in that, haha. Those are also his enemy. When he was young, his family was attacked by orthographers. He has never fully recovered.
Crap. I just googled e-prime, and now I have yet another fascinating Wikipedia rabbit-hole to get lost in after work. Thanks, I think.
Haha, I appreciate all the comments. Is my manuscript hard to read as a result of my obsession? Well, I'd argue that my style clarifies the writing and doesn't come across as lazy. Instead of writing: Trevor held the broadsword firmly and prepared to engage his opponent. I write: Trevor set a firm grip with his broadsword and prepared to engage his opponent. To me, 'ly adverbs are lazy writing, much like passive voice. Yee haw! haha.
But that's just replacing an adverb with an adjective. I'm not entirely clear on why that's better. I would write: "Trevor tightened his grip on the broadsword and prepared to engage his opponent."
Molly forgot her brolly when she left to feed the filly in the field. It was July, but still, such folly. She felt more silly than that time Billy the bully used jelly to sully her curly hair. She discovered this thread and realised she had more immediate concerns.
Little Mary forgot her umbrella when she left to feed the young female horse in the field. It was soon after June but before August, but still, it was foolish of her. She felt it was more ridiculous than that time when William bullied her by putting gelatin in the curls of her hair.
indeed - although in self editing mode I'd probably bin the whole sentence- who holds a broadsword any other way than with a firm grip if they are preparing to fight... if the reader doesn't have any reason to think that his grip is loose or weak you don't need to say it was firm. you also don't need to say he's preparing to engage an opponent since you've presumably already established that he's about to be in combat... its not like he's using it to comb his hair post edit it would probably become "Trevor raised his broadsword" The wider pertinence being that writing is more improved by a thorough edit (self and then paid) than it is by simply ( ) eliminating adverbs
Not to mention that heavy ass broadsword's just going to fall out of your hands with a weak grip. I too am a fan of more expeditious language for movement items like that. Actions get convoluted fast by wordiness.
I agree. I would have binned at least one half of the sentence, either the first or second half. I mean, at some point, we will have put him face-to-face with his opponent, so we know stuff is going down. If he's readying his broadsword, the reader is probably smart enough to figure out what's going on. In fairness to trevorD, I imagine this is an example rather than an actual excerpt.
Trevor contemplated the wisdom of increasing the pressure of his grip on his broadsword, which was a double-edged basket-hilted sword unlike the longsword that required a double-handed grip unlike the single handed grip possible with a broadsword, and decided if he grasped the thing any harder, he'd warp the hilt, rendering the weapon off-balance and aesthetically unpleasing, and perhaps causing him to fumble his attack on his arch enemy, Lochvar, who was at that moment bearing down on him with a late medieval claymore, which was not to be mistaken for basket hilted claymore popular in 18th century Scotland. Fixed it.
Wow, ok. Thread goes from tongue in cheek to me taking a few cheap shots. If you don't think you'd hold a broadsword tighter before you fight than you would when carrying it around with you, then write your own story and leave mine alone.
