1. naruzeldamaster

    naruzeldamaster Senior Member

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    Is referring to a characters ass as 'cheesecake' a bad taste joke? (details inside)

    Discussion in 'Character Development' started by naruzeldamaster, Apr 5, 2023.

    First of all, this is part of the joke of the character (since she runs a cheesecake shop and cooks/eats all her cheesecake herself before serving a new recipe to her customers, and a particular ingredient she uses causes the calories to go to your thighs), she considers it more of a term of endearment. And the only time she takes offense to it is when someone makes the comment with lecherous intent. Of course, those sorts of customers are swiftly punished (usually by her) and more intelligent customers often know better than to make the joke. She trusts most customers and they trust her, but every now and then some idiot just comes for 'the view' and of course, are caught/punished.

    She later explains that she dresses how she does and moves how she does to test people's character. She can tell what kind of person someone is just from how they observe her.

    The only thing that I feel might be kind of 'off' about the scene is that the more pure hearted customers are so used to her punishing the creepy customers that they often gamble on how long it'll be before she notices it. I'm debating not including that part or maybe changing it in some way. It makes sense if it happens often enough for the other customers to joke about it, but it also paints the more pure customers in a bad light.

    A small side note, this character fills the role of the 'seemingly harmless but secretly extremely powerful' trope.

    I consider 'cheesecake' to be a similar slang to 'milkshakes' or Japan's favorite 'peaches' but I'm curious what ya'll think.
     
  2. Bruce Johnson

    Bruce Johnson Contributor Contributor Contest Winner 2023

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    I got to admit that after reading this description I find the character unlikeable. Maybe it's because I don't find it believable, I don't know. I have no doubt some people will explain their fashion choices this way, I just don't think it's fully honest. Just my two cents

    As for the cheesecake reference, I think it could work in your story with enough supporting description/passages on how it came to be associated with her body, similar to the terms you mention along with the similar 'apple bottom's and 'onion booty'.
     
  3. naruzeldamaster

    naruzeldamaster Senior Member

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    It's one of the things few things about her I haven't decided on keeping yet. Now that you mention it, it does kind of clash against the rest of her character so I'll likely axe it.

    An alternative idea I have for her (which I like a bit more) is that she judges people by exposing them to the full force of her mana, which is basically like chakra, but in a way that they can spiritually feel how powerful she is without her actually punishing them. I imagine the more impure types would be terrified of her. Sure the more pure types would feel her power, but they'd have no reason to fear her. (though I imagine they'd get super nervous under the 'pressure' ) Same method of 'exposure' but a little more classy and less sultry in nature. Would that work?

    In my story, people sensitive to mana can judge a lot about people by how they react to said mana, or how much they have, or how sensitive they are to it, even if the other person isn't directly aware that it's the mana that they're sensing.

    There's already an instance of mana sensing in the story too, the Main Character can sense mana and get a good read on people based on how their mana behaves. He describes one characters mana as an ocean in a storm, yet somehow benevolent.
     

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