My English may be getting worse. I need help again. Here's the line as currently written: Why is there paperwork on my soul? My girlfriend says on should be replaced with about. I think about is wrong, but now I can't see on working anymore either. I'm thinking it could be concerning, but it's just a regular guy saying it. Concerning doesn't seem like a word he'd use in a surprised question. The original version works, right?
I'm not sure I understand what you're asking. I wrote about a guy who discovers that there is paperwork concerning his soul and he's rather surprised about it. Then I got into a "no, you're wrong" argument with my girlfriend/alpha reader about the way it was written and Homer provided a proper way to write it and then I thanked him for the simple solution I would probably never have arrived at myself.
I'm just wondering if you intended this literally or if it was figurative. I guess you're writing fantasy or something?
Oh. Yeah, literally. I don't know if it counts as fantasy though. There aren't any of the fantasy staples in it, but it does definitely have a bunch of things that can't actually happen... Genre is another thing I'll have to look into at some point.
